Friend not seen baby

[Briar250]

Hello I may sound silly but my oldest friend of 25 years has made no effort what so ever to see my baby who is nearly 4 months old.

she is the sort of person to be social and lively and lives with her partner and 5 year old, so would
nmow what it’s like when you fist time
become a mum.

she made a point of saying video chat me
when baby is born

she did sign some document for little one

but has made her self totally unavailable to see me

she lives far, and had just moved houses i do understand but am a bit hurt feelings.

i not really sure what to do

she said she would be over over Xmas, and then it was new year

feeling a bit postnatal mood anyway today.

also we used to be part of same group of friends but they got judgey when I had mental health problems through no fault of my own, which are fine now but they all disappeared

aibu? Probably because friend is busy and I not at centre of people’s lives

just thought my little one would be a prime reason to drop by and say hi.

Best thing I think is to let her know that you'd love to catch up in person while you have time on mat leave. Could you go to visit her instead if she can't make the trip to see you?

Have done this chat with her and she said around end of year then beginning of next year

YABU

one of my best friends had a baby 5 months ago and I only met him last weekend as I’ve now moved a few hundred miles away.
neither of us had any issue with it, not sure why you think it’s so important to meet a baby that won’t know her or remember it?

a baby is a baby 😂

I'd not lose hope and just prompt a meet up yourself. But by the same token bear in mind that this will happen when you have a baby. You find out which friends are there for the long run and which are not. She's been there 25 years so far which is amazing so hopefully she fixes up, but if not then life goes on and things change x

That is true! But More to be supportive

i do understand though

It’s only four months so there’s lots of time yet. Give her a call for a chat. If she doesn’t have kids she might not realise what an amazing time it is for you. Yanbu and neither is she.

I know what you mean

thanks for reply

Thanks all for replies

Could she be struggling with fertility issues? I know you said she had a 5 year old but it could be a possibility? How far away does she live? Try not to take it personally as it does sound like she has been in touch.

It sounds like you’re having a hard time and you needed your friend to be there for you, which is completely understandable. But it’s also understandable that with a lot going on in her own life and a young child at school (making travel difficult) she just hasn’t been able to get to you, and that’s perfectly understandable too. It’s ok to feel disappointed and sad. But try not to let those feelings, as natural as they are, persuade you that your friend is behaving badly or that it means she doesn’t care. I don’t think that’s true, I think she’s just got a lot on her plate too. So feel what you feel, but don’t jeopardise your friendship by giving her a hard time over it.

What @RoseAndGeranium said. I don’t think yabu to feel disappointed. However, I don’t know what is going on in your friend’s life to make it difficult for her to visit you sooner rather than later.

The early months of having a newborn baby can be a bit lonely. So, put baby in a pram or a baby carrier and get out of the house. Join some baby groups etc.