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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be so upset that my manager is leaving

14 replies

frostedd · 30/11/2022 19:50

I got told today that my manager is leaving, and I am so sad. After I got off the Zoom call I burst into tears, which really took me by surprise as I feel like that's quite an OTT reaction. They have been so incredibly supportive and helpful with me. They are so laid back and trusting, which is the perfect balance for me as I'm a worrier and perfectionist and really don't do well with micromanagers. My new manager is so different and I know my job is going to feel weird being under their supervision.

I had been thinking of moving company soon, and to be honest having a really good manager was the thing I liked most about my job so I think this may be the final push to leave.

AIBU to ask if anyone else has struggled with having a great manager leave, and how to adjust to having a new manager, especially when they are quite different in terms of personality and expectations?

OP posts:

bellac11 · 30/11/2022 20:11

Yes I think its normal. I moved Local Authorities once when my manager moved, she asked me to go with her but I wouldnt have gone if I felt confident that another manage r would be as good

These days I wouldnt necessarily but thats because Im much older and my current manager doesnt fall into that category but I certainly am fussy about who Im managed by

waterwitch · 30/11/2022 20:14

Do you know where your boss is going? If you’re thinking of moving anyway, that might be worth a look

GLADragss · 30/11/2022 20:15

Yes my amazing manager left this summer and was replaced by a shit manager with a completely different style. Things have gotten better but it required a lot of push back and establishing boundaries

MadameDe · 30/11/2022 20:22

I know the feeling. 3 years ago I had the best line manager. She was replaced by my worst nightmare. In saying this, I persevered through the worst of it and now I have someone different who is amazing. Everyone has a bad manager at least once in their lives. How you deal with it is so important to your self esteem and career development. At least give the new person a chance.

Coffeetree · 30/11/2022 20:22

I totally get it. I had an amazing manager for eight years and it totally spoiled me. I was just flourishing. Then I moved jobs and...yeah. I have a good manager now so all is good.

Look at it this way: at least you'll have had this good experience. Plus it's a good hob market out there at present, so you can bounce!

MissMisss · 30/11/2022 20:23

My amazing manager left and ended up taking me with him! I was so happy as I was gutted when he was going.

Casperthefriendlyspook · 01/12/2022 02:22

I get it. My manager has just gone off, and we’ve been told she’s leaving, and not coming back.

I’m so upset, as she’s been amazing - always been in my corner. Her manager is awful, and I suspect is the reason she’s leaving. We don’t know who we will end up with now.

We’re so sad that we haven’t been able to say our goodbyes.

HollaHolla · 01/12/2022 13:55

Today we’ve been told she was accused of doing something wrong. I know she never would. It seems so unfair she goes like this.
I don’t know if I will get the support and encouragement she gave me, now.

Original poster

frostedd · 01/12/2022 18:33

I'm honestly so sad! I was even crying last night before I went to sleep about it! She has been such a role model to me, I've never really had anyone that I've looked up to and respected so much. She is so intelligent and good at her job, yet so down to earth and easygoing.

I had another really close colleague leave last month, so I think I'm feeling a bit abandoned lol.

My new manager is a lot more senior, and I find them quite intimidating/difficult. I know that everything will feel more formal and 'to the letter' with them.

OP posts:

Pleasecreateausername13 · 01/12/2022 18:37

You know what’s funny, in my last job my manager was incredible and when he told us he was leaving and who was replacing him made me sick to my stomach. It was essentially the office bitch and I had never got on with her.

She ended up being one of the best managers I’ve ever had and we got on so well once she became my manager. Was so fair and let us kinda take the piss(WFH) on sunny days as long as we made up the time on other days. Would let us finish early and just let us get on with our jobs! She ended up leaving as her manager was a pain.

Sometimes it’s not all doom and gloom.

Intathewoods · 01/12/2022 19:02

Its not unusual at all- great colleagues make all the difference!

It sounds like you both get on well. Could you not say in passing "I've enjoyed working with you so much, thank you so much for being so lovely to work for. I'd absolutely love the opportunity to work with you in the future, let me know if anything suitable comes up in your new company. If not, no worries, thanks for being such a good manager!" Nothing ventured nothing gained!

billy1966 · 01/12/2022 19:14

Intathewoods · 01/12/2022 19:02

Definitely do this, you never know.

YANBU.

I had a wonderful boss like that once.

Unfortunately they died very suddenly and the 14 person department was completely emptied 6 months later.
Not a single member remained.

As it happened I was coincidentally leaving the month after they died and they had known this, but I was really devastated, as were the whole team.

It completely changed the nature of my leaving and took me a long time to process.

They had been a wonderful role model for many.

ReedOfFate · 01/12/2022 19:37

My really excellent manager left earlier this year. He was a brilliant person to work with; some people didn’t like him because he always was given the hard jobs (cutting budgets etc) so had a bit of an undeserved reputation, but he was so fair and very intuitive, and really quick at understanding complex issues. I always trusted he would make the right things happen

His replacement is a nice guy but nowhere near the level of brain and comprehension. I can tell he’s really trying and very much appreciate that; I’ll do my best to make it work. But like a PP I really felt knocked sideways when my old manager left, after 10 years of us working together in various roles

Falalalallamadahdahdahdah · 01/12/2022 19:42

I may be about to lose my amazing manager to a new job (interview pending). I will be sad if she goes but she also deserves happiness and new opportunities to progress and I'm excited for her. I may be the one replacing her which is even more of a scary thought!!

I have learned so much from her and she is an amazing role model to me. Kind compassionate, knowledgeable and caring. Take on-board what you have learnt and from them and use it as an opportunity to explore other roles.

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