To think surely all secondary schools aren’t violent?

[CoilBeGone]

Maybe I’m deluded, but I really hope they’re not anyway.

I’ve just removed DD2 (age 12) from her school which seems to have regular fights breaking out (that’s not the only reason by a long shot, but I was very worried about how she’d come to accept witnessing violence as a normal part of school life). As soon as an argument starts to get lively and it looks like a fight is imminent, other students get their phones out to video it, and then these get sent around the school.

I saw one of these videos on her phone, which involved one girl being pushed to the ground and then being repeatedly kicked and having her head stamped on by another girl. Not just a little scrap, proper violence. Although my dd was never involved in a fight, she did have people threatening to beat her up several times during her time there.

This is one of the many issues I raised with the head when I had a meeting recently and she said that this is a problem in all secondaries since covid, heads all over are reporting an increase in violence within their schools.

I went to a private school and whilst yes there was bullying, I never once saw a physical fight during my entire time at school.

Is this just how it is now within schools?

At my teen DDs school the worst that she’s said had happened is a bit of pushing and shoving between the boys

I’d say there are one or maybe two a year at DS’s school. There are 2000 pupils on site and it’s a normal 11-18 state school.

SLT are normally there rapidly and are clearly all trained in high levels of manual restraint. Also, it’s know to have a strict discipline code, so the consequences are clear. (Massive waiting list, if you don’t like the policies take your child elsewhere.)

I did a bit of TA work at a secondary state school in Sept and I felt very, very unsafe. I only lasted a couple of weeks because I felt so unsafe. I saw a fight pretty much every day. The tipping point was when I saw a teacher go berserk in a lesson because the kids weren’t listening and he threw a chair across the classroom, I was terrified.

None at my DS's school, state secondary modern in grammar school area.

Interesting mix of responses. My DD’s school was quite small by secondary standards, only about 500 kids, in a rural area. But it seems like a culture of battering each other has taken hold there.

I have worked in 7 secondary schools across 12 years, with 3 of the schools in rough areas. I have seen only a handful of fights, and have not heard of anyone having their head stamped on. This is not normal behaviour for a school.

You have definitely made the right decision pulling her out.

School Governor here … we witnessed a large upsurge in violence when they first came back from lockdown. Our Head said he’s never seen anything like it. It was like they had lost their social skills, and how to communicate.

Much more settled now, but having issues with Y8, who missed end of primary / high school transition - it’s s difficult year group.

Our school has fights, but they are dealt with

It's got to depend where you live. I was a teacher for nearly 25 years, and only saw a handful of fights (though a good number happened that I didn't see). I only felt unsafe in one school, and it was a short-lived experience because the leadership were awful bullies, too. But I've been doing supply in a big city lately and I have never felt so unsafe. Some schools here have completely lost their grip on discipline.

I was in a school recently, for example, that thought this was an appropriate play to show Y7.
terriersplay.co.uk/
Gangs, violence, pimping girls out.
I don't want to live in a place where that is appropriate subject matter for Y7.

No fighting at my DD's school. It's a girls school.

My kids went to a school where violence was daily. Fights daily, even stabbings. My boy was traumatized as he had witnessed it. They now have random metal archways looking for weapons and all kids have to walk through them. Police and staff also man the local shops after school. It's mayhem. I personally have witnessed a stampede where people have been trampled and also a pupil pushing another in the road and nearly being hit by a bus. It's scary and people dodge the place like the plague at home time.

800 kids in my daughters school.

There hasn't been a fight this academic year, altho there have previously been fights.

It's an outstanding school and the head clamps down hard on fighting. They go to seclusion or get suspended.

I have close connections with 2 secondary schools. In one, they have occasional scuffles, but not major cause for concern. In the other, i'm not aware of any fighting

So no, I do not think it's normal

@ExtraOnions that’s interesting as my DD is in year 8, although mind you I don’t think fights at that school are just within her year group. There’s a new head this year who is trying to change the way things are, but she’s got a job on her hands as the overall behaviour is terrible.

To know my pre teen child was witnessing and normalising this kind of behaviour was disturbing, and shortly before she left she was asking my advice about what to do if someone did try to beat her up, should she fight back? I was like WTH, she’s 12 and she shouldn’t even be thinking about this.

I don't think it's the norm, but I do think this kind of issue is becoming more common....

I'd have taken her out and done everything I could to get her into another school or a private school....wouldn't be my first choice but so many schools are utter shite these days!

Ds is going to dds old school when she was there hardly any fights now? Loads year 9 were feral they transitioned during lockdown year 8 not too bad but still acting like they are in primary school year 7 are utterly out of control the school has cctv and a zero tolerance policy they used to be the school that bad students transfered too so they could be sorted out for the first time in a long time THEY are actually excluding children (plural) suspensions are rising they are having to really crack the whip