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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To inform school about this?

19 replies

JustAnotherManicNameChange · 30/11/2022 18:08

More of a WWYD really.

One of the kids in DD's class uses their phone at school to take pics of their classmates and sometimes kids in other classes. Nothing inappropriate, in the corridor,in the classroom, in the cloakroom. I know because the pics were shared on the group chat DD is on , and I regularly check her phone. This is against the rules and it does make me uncomfortable for a few reasons.

I considered letting the parent know, but last time I told them about something concerning (safeguarding related) about their child's phone use DD was excluded from every single playdate,sleepover etc. for months.

Should I let the school/teacher know?

OP posts:
DancingLedgend · 30/11/2022 18:11

Yes, let the school know.
Don't tackle this with the parents.

Jellycatspyjamas · 30/11/2022 18:11

Yes, that could present a significant safeguarding issue - it would for my kids. The school can have a secure place for phones so they aren’t accessible until the kids are leaving. Because of the safeguarding issue for my kids I’d have a word with the school and ask them how they’ll ensure my kids aren’t out at risk.

AnonyMum21 · 30/11/2022 18:13

Depends on a few things…

what age are they, primary or secondary?
what is the schools policy on phones? (I know you said it’s against rules but how?)
Many are allowed to have them on premises, but not switched on. Our local primary insists the kids hand them in at start of day, and give them back at home time. Secondary school they can only use in the older years, and only at break times - I don’t think there is any rule against taking photos

MelchiorsMistress · 30/11/2022 18:13

Yes, you should.

AnonyMum21 · 30/11/2022 18:15

But yes, report to school if rules are being broken - don’t bother with parents.

School should be discreet and keep their source anonymous

strawberriesplease · 30/11/2022 18:15

No!

Keep out if it. Don't make your DD a social pariah FFS

Nothing untoward is happening.

Fleabigg · 30/11/2022 18:16

Yes I’d tell the school, this is exactly why most schools don’t allow phones to be used.

RaininSummer · 30/11/2022 18:19

Definitely needs reporting not least because some children may not have photos posted to protect their whereabouts.

Jellycatspyjamas · 30/11/2022 18:22

Nothing untoward is happening.

Taking pictures of kids in school and posting them online can have serious unforeseen consequences for some of those kids. The child won’t have an awareness of why that may be which is why schools need to have rules that protect everyone.

WheresTheCakeThen · 30/11/2022 18:23

Definitely tell the school but don't tell DD you are doing it. That way she can honestly 'deny' her parents had anything to do with it if the other DC /their parents get annoyed so there shouldn't be any repurcussions for her

Devoutspoken · 30/11/2022 18:23

Hell yeah

Woahtherehoney · 30/11/2022 18:23

strawberriesplease · 30/11/2022 18:15

No!

Keep out if it. Don't make your DD a social pariah FFS

Nothing untoward is happening.

How do you know that? This is a safeguarding issue - he could be putting those photos anywhere and sending them to anyone. Kids who need to stay anonymous for various reasons could have their photos being shared in places they don’t want to.

OP please report this.

JustAnotherManicNameChange · 30/11/2022 18:23

AnonyMum21 · 30/11/2022 18:13

Depends on a few things…

what age are they, primary or secondary?
what is the schools policy on phones? (I know you said it’s against rules but how?)
Many are allowed to have them on premises, but not switched on. Our local primary insists the kids hand them in at start of day, and give them back at home time. Secondary school they can only use in the older years, and only at break times - I don’t think there is any rule against taking photos

Primary. Phones have to be left in the office in the morning and picked up at home time. Obviously school wouldn't know if a child had theirs on silent ,kept it in their bag and used it during the day.

OP posts:
JustAnotherManicNameChange · 30/11/2022 18:45

strawberriesplease · 30/11/2022 18:15

No!

Keep out if it. Don't make your DD a social pariah FFS

Nothing untoward is happening.

I'm not telling DD and hoping they won't know it was me. There are 15 kids on that gc so other parents will/could see it too if they check their kids phone. Some might even feel like me that it's a safeguarding issue and report it too.

It's the possibility of escalation that bothers me too. Once the novelty wears off what else will they take pics of to get a reaction/attention? Some kids already seem unaware that pics are being taken of them which also makes me uncomfortable on top of the obvious safeguarding issues.

OP posts:
AnonyMum21 · 30/11/2022 20:50

@JustAnotherManicNameChange yes, definitely report to school. Photos are a clear proof that phone is not being handed in as per school rules

And school could even do a routine ‘bag check’ and find it without having to say it has been reported?

or the office can keep a vigilant check on if that particular child hands a phone in each day?

It’s really good news that group chat is so large too.
Lots of ways that your DD won’t be suspected of being in any way responsible

AnonyMum21 · 30/11/2022 20:52

Just an idea too
when you report it can you give school the dates that the photos were taken/ shared on the group
Then if they need to take up with child’s parents they have a bit more concrete evidence (rather than vague rumour)

AnonyMum21 · 30/11/2022 20:55

AnonyMum21 · 30/11/2022 20:52

Just an idea too
when you report it can you give school the dates that the photos were taken/ shared on the group
Then if they need to take up with child’s parents they have a bit more concrete evidence (rather than vague rumour)

Suggesting this since your OP suggests the parents are not too ‘hot’ on potential safeguarding issues and may push back with school eg/ insisting child hands in phone?
(experience with ‘those’ parents and school discipline)

JustAnotherManicNameChange · 30/11/2022 21:05

I have "proof" of the photos /messages on my phone so I can show that if needed.

OP posts:
CongaLine · 30/11/2022 21:09

I would definitely let the school know.

Something similar happened at our school and it was taken very seriously.

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