To expect a thank you

[Thankyouu]

I live overseas and two friends from home have recently had birthdays - sent one flowers and one a small gift. I could track the delivery of both so knew they’d been delivered but didn’t get an acknowledgment or thank you until I followed up to ‘check’ they’d got them between 1-2 days later.

If someone sends me something I message to say thank you as soon as I get it!

Possibly expecting too much to do happy to be told IABU.

I don't think you're being unreasonable, a quick message to say thank you for a card or gift takes no time. Not saying thank you tells you a lot about a person.

IMO, YADDNBU!

Seems to be a regular occurrence these days but I think it's the height of ignorance.😡

Just good manners!

The friend may not have opened the present yet so forgot to thank you for it so YMBU about that. Assuming the other friend was home and accepted the delivery of the flowers, or returned home and saw that they were there, YANBU.

YANBU, a message to acknowledge and say thank you would be polite.

I didn’t even get a thank you for the last 3 wedding gifts I’ve given people -seems to be the modern way, sadly.
I always send thanks, & get DC to write a little thank you cards.
So rude to not acknowledge a gift imo.

I have stopped buying for people who don’t acknowledge gifts. So rude and ungrateful.

Did they say thank you when you checked on them?

If they didn’t, you are not unreasonable to expect a thank you.

I wouldn’t expect an immediate thank you and could recognise that delivery could have shown up while they were busy and forgotten by accident to send a thank you noir they were in mid-text of a thank you and became distracted.

I highly doubt there was ill intentions. It had only been a day or two.

That would be the last gift I sent

Cannot stand people with lack of manners, literally makes me see red. YADDNBU.

I would expect a thank you within about a week. 1-2 days they might have a lot on or something else going on in their life right now.

YANBU, but I would say that I don't like the whole thing where at Christmas (and birthdays etc,) where a person has been given a gift and said thank you at the time, but are then expected to say thank you again after the present is opened.

But the ‘thank you’ when given a wrapped present is an automatic one. You have no idea what you are thanking them for so are just being generically polite. A thank you once you’ve opened it is about showing appreciation for the item chosen. I say another thank you after opening the gift. Otherwise the person may be left thinking you didn’t like it. And even if you didn’t like it, you should still say thanks for it.

YANBU but I receives some flowers unexpectedly a few weeks ago (having a bad time on some work stuff) and they came with a message but no name on - I messaged a couple of obvious choices to see if from them but having to post on social media thanking 'the lovely person' who sent. So if they know it's you on delivery def YANBU but poss they didn't want to admit they didn't know sender?

Personally I think YABU to get the hump until at least a week has passed. Two days for a 'small gift'? Yeah that is nice but it isn't going to be top of my priority list, you can wait for the weekend at least.

@Hont1986 I spent about £50 on both and tried to be thoughtful.

’you can wait for the weekend at least’ - I think you sound quite rude and self involved tbh.

Those who say YABU are the type not to say thank you themselves, IMO.

I like to send a decent thank you - eg a card, or a photo of my child using/wearing said gift. I have a relative who always 'checks' we have received the gift before I send a thank you, then I always feel like the thank you I send back in response is a bit crap, and forced. Give a few days not just 1-2 (to allow for not being in etc) and you might get a better response. If still not, then YANBU!

(I have learned re this relative and now send a quick thank you text straight away now)

In this day an age it takes less than a minute so send a quick email/message on you phone. It's rude to not acknowledge and I've had it done to me on numerous occasions. Not from the same person though.

you can wait for the weekend at least’ - I think you sound quite rude and self involved tbh.

Meh. I think you sound too uptight, fretting about a thank you so soon. Fancy 'checking up' if they'd received it not even 48 hours later! I bet that got a big eye roll in your friend's house.

@Hont1986 it takes 30 seconds to send a thank you text.

You are coming across as quite a self centred person - I’d much rather be uptight than rude / bad mannered.

I would tend to write a thank you note, which comes with a delay of course. I'd be mortified if the giver checked up before then. Maybe I'm being unreasonable from responses on here.

Why post on AIBU if you won't accept people thinking YABU? 😂

I wouldn’t send them presents anymore. They don’t value them clearly.

Because the majority don’t think she is BU.

I'm with you op. This year I don't have to send Christmas gifts to any neices and nephews (bar one) as neither they (if adult) nor their parents (if children) bother to acknowledge yet alone say thank you. Just a quick text to say it arrived safely would do. My dc send quick texts when they open theirs.