Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

(Some) Men can be so thick! *title amended by MNHQ to make it abundantly clear that the OP wasn't talking about every man on the planet*

38 replies

wowmummy · 30/11/2022 06:38

God, I asked DH to book a re delivery, wasn't the usual postie who would throw it in the back garden. Knowing it is fleece bedding for the kids wanted it before the strike and he's diverted it and doesn't know where 🙄 can't do anything till Friday. Should have just done it myself! Lesson learnt!

OP posts:
KangarooKenny · 30/11/2022 06:39

Yep, if you want a job doing don’t ask a man.

Rainbowqueeen · 30/11/2022 06:42

I’d see it as a sign he needs more practice.

Does this happen with stuff he orders for himself????

ssd · 30/11/2022 06:44

Trouble is you end up doing fucking everything yourself

chikp · 30/11/2022 06:44

There will be an email?

KangarooKenny · 30/11/2022 06:45

ssd · 30/11/2022 06:44

Trouble is you end up doing fucking everything yourself

Yep, and then you wonder why you keep them !

chikp · 30/11/2022 06:47

I don't think the problem with your husband is that he's a man, just that he is thick

Original poster
wowmummy · 30/11/2022 06:49

I have no idea what he orders but probably not

No sign of an email, I said that to him as you need to enter an email or a phone number

Yep might as well do it myself, he doesn't see it as one last thing for me to do. I am SAHM but on this particular day was rushing in and out but wanted the quilts before the strike!

In the library the other day there was a book - in the kids bit but perfectly aimed at my DH called 'so you think you've got it bad' least he can poo on peace, my youngest has a fascination with watching me struggle 😂😂😂😂

OP posts:
rattlemehearties · 30/11/2022 06:49

Mmm maybe he knows you won't ask next time as he did a bad job this time. Managed incompetence. I wouldn't stand for it myself if he made a habit of doing stuff badly when you ask.

piedbeauty · 30/11/2022 06:50

Get him to sort the problem then!

A better post title might be 'why is my man so thick?'

girlmom21 · 30/11/2022 06:50

Send him to collect it. They'll tell where it's been sent if he has, in fact, diverted it.

Original poster
wowmummy · 30/11/2022 06:51

Oh yeah he's sorting it, on Friday - because of strikes he can use his petrol and time to find the bloody thing. He will hate it as he's a firefighter and the engine will rely on certain people. He will be on what I call 'brown lights' driving 😂😂😂

OP posts:
Original poster
wowmummy · 30/11/2022 06:55

rattlemehearties · 30/11/2022 06:49

Mmm maybe he knows you won't ask next time as he did a bad job this time. Managed incompetence. I wouldn't stand for it myself if he made a habit of doing stuff badly when you ask.

Good point, I'll make a note of that on the future I think with it being something in need though I was just desperate for it but then didn't realise it would be our normal postie either!!!

He's a good egg though tbf. Leaves at 3 but will 'do the rounds' up all the house to tuck all the kids in and put their bean bag things in the microwave and bring me up tea in flask which I'm drinking now before I have to get out of bed. Take the good with the bad 😂😂😂

But he can still get the parcel

OP posts:
Original poster
wowmummy · 30/11/2022 06:56

wouldn't* be our normal postie

OP posts:
Motnight · 30/11/2022 06:57

KangarooKenny · 30/11/2022 06:39

Yep, if you want a job doing don’t ask a man.

And that is one of the reasons why so many men get away with doing so little, unfortunately.

anexcellentwoman · 30/11/2022 07:27

Some of the posts here hark back to the notion that a woman's work is never done and only women can be trusted to do domestic jobs. I would be more sympathetic if the OP was also working to financially support her family. I remember my MIL complaining at 70 that a woman's work is never done. She had never worked bar six months before she got married. She made a palaver out of every little thing. They lived in a two bedroom bungalow and once her children had left home she watched an awful lot of daytime tv and microwaved a lot of ready meals. However, according to her, 'a woman's work is never done'. It gave her purpose. My FIL was still working at 70 to support her. He drover her everywhere because she never learned to drive.
Even today, there are so many women who don't work or retire/ work part time because they need to be at home doing lots of 'women's work' to show how indispensable they are.
I am sure the OP drives and has very young children but the only way to achieve equality in terms of domestic responsibility is to maintain responsibility in financial terms. Then both partners have no excuse not to pull their weight.

Original poster
wowmummy · 30/11/2022 07:34

anexcellentwoman · 30/11/2022 07:27

Some of the posts here hark back to the notion that a woman's work is never done and only women can be trusted to do domestic jobs. I would be more sympathetic if the OP was also working to financially support her family. I remember my MIL complaining at 70 that a woman's work is never done. She had never worked bar six months before she got married. She made a palaver out of every little thing. They lived in a two bedroom bungalow and once her children had left home she watched an awful lot of daytime tv and microwaved a lot of ready meals. However, according to her, 'a woman's work is never done'. It gave her purpose. My FIL was still working at 70 to support her. He drover her everywhere because she never learned to drive.
Even today, there are so many women who don't work or retire/ work part time because they need to be at home doing lots of 'women's work' to show how indispensable they are.
I am sure the OP drives and has very young children but the only way to achieve equality in terms of domestic responsibility is to maintain responsibility in financial terms. Then both partners have no excuse not to pull their weight.

Wow

No I don't drive - I've got epilepsy.

I have 3 children under 5

I've worked since I was 16 alongside school, college etc and opened, ran and sold 3 successful businesses

Because he has a job I don't do my fair share?

There is a career sector called 'childcare' where people are paid to look after children. I look after children but am not paid as they are my own

FYI I couldn't name you a day time tv program

OP posts:
chikp · 30/11/2022 07:42

What's wrong with watching day time tv. It's no worse than watching evening TV.

Original poster
wowmummy · 30/11/2022 07:44

anexcellentwoman · 30/11/2022 07:27

Some of the posts here hark back to the notion that a woman's work is never done and only women can be trusted to do domestic jobs. I would be more sympathetic if the OP was also working to financially support her family. I remember my MIL complaining at 70 that a woman's work is never done. She had never worked bar six months before she got married. She made a palaver out of every little thing. They lived in a two bedroom bungalow and once her children had left home she watched an awful lot of daytime tv and microwaved a lot of ready meals. However, according to her, 'a woman's work is never done'. It gave her purpose. My FIL was still working at 70 to support her. He drover her everywhere because she never learned to drive.
Even today, there are so many women who don't work or retire/ work part time because they need to be at home doing lots of 'women's work' to show how indispensable they are.
I am sure the OP drives and has very young children but the only way to achieve equality in terms of domestic responsibility is to maintain responsibility in financial terms. Then both partners have no excuse not to pull their weight.

I can imagine you would think that dinner must be on the table for a man when he gets in and have a bath ran

Not that I might need a hand, want a break, or converse/play with his children

Thankfully he values what I do, raising his children, over money and appreciates me for all that I do. He thanks me most days for growing and giving birth to them

I cannot believe that. You are only equal in a relationship if you earn money. That's insane....

OP posts:
Original poster
wowmummy · 30/11/2022 07:45

chikp · 30/11/2022 07:42

What's wrong with watching day time tv. It's no worse than watching evening TV.

No problem from me it was just the generalisation that if you don't earn money that's all you do

OP posts:
chikp · 30/11/2022 07:48

wowmummy · 30/11/2022 07:45

No problem from me it was just the generalisation that if you don't earn money that's all you do

Show quote history

Ah cool. I work part time so I can look after my child and I need that hour break in the day at the moment when I can put on daytime TV. For my own sanity. Hats off to SAHP I couldn't do it full time my child would suffer I'm just not good enough.

Luredbyapomegranate · 30/11/2022 07:51

I half think when people do things like this it’s on purpose so they don’t get these jobs.. maybe not on purpose but it’s a way of saying - I’m too important for this shit.

Anyway, make him sort it out. The kids will survive fine while he does - but if you keep picking up his fuck ups you’ll be doing it for the rest of your life

anexcellentwoman · 30/11/2022 07:54

But earning the money to pay for everything is a very big contribution to family life. It is often devalued on MN but in real life being the bread winner is a significant role. You have already says your husband does lots for you and your family. It sounds so 1950's to claim that only you can do domestic jobs. As you said 'Lesson learned'. So many women financially support their families alongside being good mums. It sounds as if you like to think running around after the family makes you indispensable. When both parents work, sharing household responsibilities is a given.

Cheesuswithallama · 30/11/2022 07:55

anexcellentwoman · 30/11/2022 07:27

Some of the posts here hark back to the notion that a woman's work is never done and only women can be trusted to do domestic jobs. I would be more sympathetic if the OP was also working to financially support her family. I remember my MIL complaining at 70 that a woman's work is never done. She had never worked bar six months before she got married. She made a palaver out of every little thing. They lived in a two bedroom bungalow and once her children had left home she watched an awful lot of daytime tv and microwaved a lot of ready meals. However, according to her, 'a woman's work is never done'. It gave her purpose. My FIL was still working at 70 to support her. He drover her everywhere because she never learned to drive.
Even today, there are so many women who don't work or retire/ work part time because they need to be at home doing lots of 'women's work' to show how indispensable they are.
I am sure the OP drives and has very young children but the only way to achieve equality in terms of domestic responsibility is to maintain responsibility in financial terms. Then both partners have no excuse not to pull their weight.

Oooh we have one of these in a family but 20 years younger than your mil. Lessons learned so I have no kids, didn't marry a man who can't even wash dishes and life is bliss😂

Op, he either fucked up once which hapoens to everyone (even us women) but it's opportunity to martyr, or you married bit of a thick one and that's your bad made.
Sounds like the former and I don't like these type of threads tbh.

Cheesuswithallama · 30/11/2022 07:56

I like how on mn it's always "my children" but the second money contributions are mentioned it's "his children".
Sorry. Made me giggle for years🙈

JayJayYoYo · 30/11/2022 08:19

Why couldn’t you do it yourself?

Swipe left for the next trending thread