My 18 month old will not sleep. She is my fourth. She is not the first I've had who is a light/tricky sleeper. My first was very similar- very strong-willed. We've tried everything at this point. Feeding and patting just don't have any effect- she'll literally feed for six hours non-stop and never drop off. She'll lie still if you pat her but even if you do it for three hours, the second you take your hand away she's awake. Co-sleeping doesn't work - we did it for 14 months but she is now just stimulated by our presence in the bed and is awake all night if I bring her in with me. We resorted to controlled crying as a last resort. We did this with my first at 18 months and it was tough but it worked. The other two we didn't do this with - they slowly settled into routines of their own. But with this baby it doesn't work. She literally pulled off all her sleep bags/pyjamas etc to get better traction on her feet so she could climb out of her cot. We had to put her in a bed with a stairgate at the door. She will cry for hours. I've tried gently cuddling/holding her in the bed so she has to relax and sleep. She did it once - then the second time just went wild until morning. Today she has been up since 3 again - her usual wake-up time - and I have had to give up. Whether I left her to cry or held her or fed her or gave her medicine it wouldn't matter. Nothing gets her to sleep. It's constant wake ups until 3, and then up.
She has a good nap - 2 hours 11.30-1.30. She has a good, consistent bedtime routine and goes to sleep at the start of the night by herself with minimal fuss. Sometimes she cries briefly but usually she reaches out to the bed, snuggles in and drops off. She is still breastfeeding and I am desperate to stop but she is like a newborn with it - we got it down to morning and night feeds about six weeks ago, but then she seemed to redouble her efforts. Yesterday I went to a friend's and literally fed her 9,30-11.30 unti she slept, then 1.30-3 when I had to go and do th school run. The whole way round the school run she was trying to open my coat for a feed. She cried the whole time I was making dinner and had to be appeased with TV and her sisters' massive efforts to entertain her. She fed for an hour before her bedtime routine. It just never ends.
I am struggling to get any work done. I am struggling even to leave her with anybody as she just cries for me. I'm terrified she has a deep attachment issue even though I was at home with her for 15 months, totally attachment parenting, and my return to work has been extremely gentle compared with the other three times. I am responsive, kind, nurturing. I am prepared to be tough if needed. But I am all out of ideas. We're all running on empty. I just don't know what the fuck to do. The health visitor says it's a moment in time. But I can't keep going like this.