To be annoyed football comes first?

Lilyyy · 2022-11-29T23:21:44+00:00

NC for this thread. DH and I have a 5 month old baby and don’t get a lot of family time, months ago I booked tickets to somewhere which is early afternoon. England won against wales so now he’s decided to go meet his friends in another city to watch the game and said he’s not coming; and even though the game starts at 7 he’s going up there early so can’t come with me and DC. I get he’s excited as it’s the World Cup and I haven’t said anything and have asked a friend to join me instead, so it’s not the biggest deal. But I’m quite upset really as I paid for tickets and it was arranged a while ago. AIBU?

TakeYourFinalPosition · 29/11/2022 23:26

YANBU but surely if it’s early afternoon, you can do both?!

allboysherebutme · 29/11/2022 23:28

Don't minimise it he's being selfish. X

Original poster

Lilyyy · 29/11/2022 23:28

He doesn’t want to do both he wants to drink before the game

OP posts:

Sherrystrull · 29/11/2022 23:31

What's the activity you've booked?

Shareornotwhocares · 29/11/2022 23:31

It’s every 4 years…. Chill and relax

UsingChangeofName · 29/11/2022 23:31

Hmm. Tricky one.
Depends on combination of factors for me.

It sounds as if you have very readily found someone else to go with, so he isn't really leaving you in the lurch / unable to go.
It is important to watch it live.
I am not sure why he can't fit in both.
As you haven't said what it is, does that hint at it being something he doesn't particularly want to go to anyway ?

I think it depends if you are just hating on football, or if there is a regular pattern of him letting you down for things.
So if someone had suddenly offered him a ticket for his favourite band on that night, would that annoy you as much ? Or is it because you don't 'get' his passion for live sport ?

Original poster

Lilyyy · 29/11/2022 23:33

Shareornotwhocares · 29/11/2022 23:31

It’s every 4 years…. Chill and relax

True! I’ll let it go

OP posts:

Original poster

Lilyyy · 29/11/2022 23:35

UsingChangeofName · 29/11/2022 23:31

Hmm. Tricky one.
Depends on combination of factors for me.

It sounds as if you have very readily found someone else to go with, so he isn't really leaving you in the lurch / unable to go.
It is important to watch it live.
I am not sure why he can't fit in both.
As you haven't said what it is, does that hint at it being something he doesn't particularly want to go to anyway ?

I think it depends if you are just hating on football, or if there is a regular pattern of him letting you down for things.
So if someone had suddenly offered him a ticket for his favourite band on that night, would that annoy you as much ? Or is it because you don't 'get' his passion for live sport ?

I was feeling conflicted whether to say anything because I was really looking forward to it and he wanted to go too, there was no asking me it was just oh I’m not coming now. But it is the World Cup and he loves football so I’ll just let it go. Posting on here has made up my mind now

OP posts:

NoSquirrels · 29/11/2022 23:36

I’d be annoyed if he unilaterally decided to back out of existing plans just because he decided to with no discussion. Especially just to go drinking.

I wouldn’t be annoyed if he’d asked me if I’d mind if the plans changed now England are in the next round and if anyone else might like his ticket to go instead. And was generally aware that he was being a bit rude so tried to make up for it.

Which sort is he?

hosyyy · 29/11/2022 23:36

Make sure he makes it up to you though...!

Original poster

Lilyyy · 29/11/2022 23:37

NoSquirrels · 29/11/2022 23:36

I’d be annoyed if he unilaterally decided to back out of existing plans just because he decided to with no discussion. Especially just to go drinking.

I wouldn’t be annoyed if he’d asked me if I’d mind if the plans changed now England are in the next round and if anyone else might like his ticket to go instead. And was generally aware that he was being a bit rude so tried to make up for it.

Which sort is he?

The first tbh

OP posts:

youagainomg · 29/11/2022 23:41

Who cares if football is every 4 years. You made plans and he let you down! I'd be pissed off!

UsingChangeofName · 29/11/2022 23:42

I agree with @NoSquirrels

Offleyhoo · 29/11/2022 23:45

Thing is with sport it's not only once every 4 years. As soon as the World Cup is over it'll be next thing. Having said that, and I'm no football fan, I can see that this is a big deal to a lot of people. Still he should have asked you not told you.

Americano75 · 29/11/2022 23:45

If it was an early kick off I'd be inclined to let it go, but given it's 7pm he's being a bit of a snider.

InternetRandom · 29/11/2022 23:46

Is this out of character for him? Or is this one instance of something he's done quite a few times?

EconomyClassRockstar · 29/11/2022 23:49

I was in labour with our youngest son and almost had him in the car as my DH "needed" to finish watching an England game so I feel your pain! That said, I think football lovers get a pass for something that happens every 4 years. The pre game drinking, confidently singing "It's coming home" even though it never does and pre match stuff is all part and parcel. I'd let it go and expect stuff equally as important to me in the future to be recognized in the same way.

Coatdegroan · 30/11/2022 00:07

If it literally clashed I would understand that he's really want to see match.

But he could do both things by the sound of it.

This is not fair in my opinion. My DH is behaving like a selfish twat. The world Cup in his mind is moreimpirtant than the Ofsted inspection AND mock exams I am experiencing at work this week. I feel your pain.

Floralnomad · 30/11/2022 00:10

I’d be really pissed off and I like sport , there is no reason why he can’t do the thing you’ve arranged and still watch the game , he’s not prioritising football he is prioritising alcohol .

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 30/11/2022 00:13

YABU. You should have had every possible outcome written in your diary /electronic calendar and arranged your social life around it, like my DH!

1smallhamsterfoot · 30/11/2022 00:37

God never again would I ever date a man into football. Why is it always priority

Heavyraindropsarefallingonmyhead · 30/11/2022 00:42

I would be annoyed he has decided you are the default parent and he can make plans whenever he likes without taking the baby into account whatever the reason. Whether it's football, a band playing, friends meeting up etc. He's not single or child free now.

Balletandbooks · 30/11/2022 00:45

UsingChangeofName · 29/11/2022 23:31

Hmm. Tricky one.
Depends on combination of factors for me.

It sounds as if you have very readily found someone else to go with, so he isn't really leaving you in the lurch / unable to go.
It is important to watch it live.
I am not sure why he can't fit in both.
As you haven't said what it is, does that hint at it being something he doesn't particularly want to go to anyway ?

I think it depends if you are just hating on football, or if there is a regular pattern of him letting you down for things.
So if someone had suddenly offered him a ticket for his favourite band on that night, would that annoy you as much ? Or is it because you don't 'get' his passion for live sport ?

I agree with this. Would you be as annoyed if it was something other than football?

(for what it's worth football enrages me, so I would be sympathetic if it's football that annoys you, even if it’s a bit unreasonable!)