To take my 2 year old away from soft play before she even went in

[pinkflamingo561]

Went to the garden centre this afternoon, one of the ones with a soft play.

We put our stuff down and then went to pay and get drinks. For some reason the queue was horrendous, there were so many people there, I think we waited in excess on 15 minutes.

Dd was fine to start with but got restless, I picked her up but she kept trying to get down and run into the soft play (separate room to the cafe and I wouldn't be able to see her). I asked if we needed to leave and she said no. She then started really kicking off, wriggling out of my arms. Queue all the people staring. She ran off and I got her back she then almost dived out of my arms then ran off into the other room and into the soft play, so I picked her up, got our stuff, and left. I do feel bad now as she clearly can't wait in a queue that long.

Wibu to do that? Can she understand the reason? I just couldn't stand there with her kicking off any longer with everyone watching. I also hate empty threats and I had mentioned leaving so that's what we did.

Your expectations of a 2 year old are too high.

They don't start to understand cause and effect until around 3 years old.

Asking a 2 year old if you need to leave is too obscure, the don't understand why what their doing will cause that.

Distraction is key at that age. You need to give clear, direct instructions to show the direct link to behaviour and consequence to teach cause and effect not obscurebcomments.
We have to pay the lady/man before we go in to play.
If you keep running off then we will leave.
It's very busy we will have a yummy treat before we go in. What would you like a cake or a biscuit.. . .
MMM, that sounds yummy what do you think mummy should have.....
Are you thirst what drins should we get...

Address the behaviour then distract, distract, distract.

YABU you knew it was too much for her. She's only 2. You should have talked her through what she was feeling and tried to distract her while you waited. Helped get through it.

You've punished her for not being able to regulate her emotions at a time when you know she wouldn't be able to.

And I hate the whole empty threats thing. Like it's so important not to admit you were wrong to children. Just tell them when you said something you shouldn't have and apologise. Lead by example. Regulate your own emotions and don't say rash things when you're stressed. If you expect it of a 2yo, surely you can do it yourself?

Not really answering your question, but I find a buggy is invaluable in a garden centre. Even without soft play there are so many colourful temptations at toddler eye level and having them in a buggy makes life so much easier.

I think you were right to leave. Yes, it was difficult for her to regulate but you can't allow running off - for her safety.
If you had been hanging around another 15 minutes trying to pay you would have both got stressed and upset.

You need to get a bit forward thinking .
Is it a place where it is accepted and safe for her to go in while you wait to pay? Could you see her, do you know the lay out?
Is the queue too long so it is a non starter- oh dear it is too busy we will try another time.
Could have talked about the possibility of a queue and this is what we need to do, keep chatting distraction etc etc
At the end of the day I think it is fine to say you aren't listening to mummy very well today and well try again another day.
Never too young for children to begin to learn consequences, and for parents to make sensible decisions with a bit of forethought.

I would (and have) leave soft play if my DC were misbehaving, eg if they pushed another child. But she wasn't really misbehaving was she? Just impatient and wriggly. I think the problem here is that you left because YOU were feeling embarrassed, rather than because her behaviour was unacceptable. I agree with you about empty threats, following through etc, so it would have been better not to say it in the first place.

Have you ever read about typical neurological development in children? You're asking an awful lot of a little one by suggesting she could have assessed her own ability to regulate her emotions in the queue and then communicate a tolerance level or the need to leave.

In terms of your decision to queue then leave I would have just taken her into the soft play or gone up to the counter with the entry fee and not queued for drinks. My little one can be delayed for about 5 mins max by singing songs and playing games in a queue.

Aw it’s a shame because she was just excited to get in and play, and 15 minutes is a VERY long time to wait when you’re 2. I don’t know how hard you tried to entertain her while you were waiting because I wasn’t there, but if all else failed and you really couldn’t have kept her from leaping out of your arms I don’t see that you could have done anything else but leave to be honest.