Flu vaccine for primary school age children?

[Gem123J]

Not really aibu, just wondered how many parents consented to their child having the flu vaccine (nasal spray).

I’m only asking because my daughter (who is 4) had it last year, and the previous, but this time as it was being done in school I had a form to sign. Last year my daughter absolutely hated it, she was quite groggy afterwards so I didn’t want her just turning up to school one day and her having to have it without knowing. So I told her about it and asked if she wanted it and explained why they give it of course, but she was adamant she didn’t want it so of course I said no to her having it.

I didn’t worry too much because they don’t have it under the age of two, and with it being fairly new (wasn’t around when I was little), I thought it can’t be extremely bad for her not to have it. But I read a story about a family (in America) that had 3 sick children in hospital with the flu, but still not extremely sick, but sick enough to be in hospital! So I am a bit worried now!

Just wanted to know who out there does or does not allow their children to have the flu vaccine basically..

Again to those who don’t agree with giving a 4 year old a choice, if it was life or death and her not having the vaccine would mean certain risk, then I wouldn’t be giving her a choice.

I don't think the potential outcomes are important when deciding whether to give a child choice. What matters is whether or not the child is able to fully understand the potential outcomes. A 4 year old is not able to understand the flu vaccine at an appropriate level to be given such a decision.

Just catching up with this thread

Those of you saying just take her to get it done at the GP- I'm pretty certain they don't offer it to otherwise healthy children of primary age, it's the community team or something who go into schools to do them

For children who are immunosuppressed or immunocompromised, I think they get offered an injection

Pretty certain parental preference/want will not allow you to get it done at the GP surgery

If she's that anxious about it maybe ask for a community clinic appointment so you can go with her?

Of course, you have to pick your battles. Absolutely. But I believe part of parenting is supporting your child through difficult experiences and equipping them to deal with those alone as they grow up.

I take your point about trauma, but I think it’s my job to frame fear and trauma for them in a way that diminishes the power of those completely natural feelings when it comes to pretty banal everyday risks and worries. A young child’s fear, in my limited experience, doesn’t dissipate much over time - it’s as fresh and overwhelming every time they are confronted with something that scares them. Because there isn’t a wider rationale, and they can’t add any (vital) wider knowledge to their own assessment of events. They are learning from their own lived experience - which is a little limited in the early years.

It may be that not making them have a teeth cleaning at the dentist means they are happy to have a filling when the time comes. It seems logical to me that turning something apparently scary into something routine, over a period of years, could have an extremely positive effect.

Personally my baseline outlook is that, (while always wise to fact check/get second opinions) as long as we are talking about standard vaccinations (and not rare and serious health conditions), if something has been rubber stamped as safe after appropriate testing, there is a health benefit to you and/or those around you, it is offered free of charge and endorsed by trustworthy medical professionals, then the likelihood is it’s a good thing to listen to the advice and to do it.

I want my children’s baseline to be the same: interrogate, investigate - but ultimately make decisions based on fact not fear.

I don’t want them falling into the trap of thinking their feelings trump medical science. Quite especially because, one day they might have to make a life or death decision about their own health without me, and I believe this mindset will give them the best possible chance at a positive outcome, always.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion - I realise mine might not be popular. But I accept what I don’t know and, within reasonable bounds, I am happy to follow advice from those who have more expertise than me in specialist fields. That’s what I want to model for my children - so they grow up with the confidence to overcome fears and trust experts when they don’t have the answers themselves.

I’m so glad your DC had a great experience with his specialist and I am sorry he has been suffering - I absolutely agree not every situation is the same. I was specifically talking about 4 year olds and standard vaccinations, and have explained (in a slightly less flippant way, I hope) my thinking in a later post.

My 12 year old was recently given a vaccination and we discussed it at length beforehand. She wanted the protection it would afford but she didn’t want a needle shoved in her arm. Totally understandable. I think it’s my job to make sure that fear of one second of pain doesn’t win out, and to take the responsibility for that decision away from her. (The medical staff were all very solicitous of her input and that was great).

My youngest had his pre school jabs recently and that wasn’t a discussion - it was an explanation. We do this to stay healthy and it’s important for us and those around us.

I totally hear that if anyone had traumatic childhood experiences of being forced into things, then that’s awful and could obviously result in having a really different outlook to mine. I just think it’s a balance, that’s all.

Sorry should have tagged
@theuntameableshrew and @Jenn3112

I consented and then my 5 year old refused it snd they can't restrain her and now I can't t get a bloody GP appt to sort it

@MilkyYay that's a really good idea and I will do it next year as we're in the same boat. Eldest refused at school so I have to sort out catch up and youngest had to keep cancelling due to other illnesses

My good friends DD almost died of the flu when she was 3. Stopped breathing, turned blue, bluelighted to A&E and was in paediatric intensive care for a week. Thank god she pulled through.

My DD gets the vaccine regardless of whether she wants it or not. I would pay for her to have it if it wasn’t available on the NHS.

My DD hasn't had it since Dec 19 because that dose triggered the biggest asthmatic 'flare up' shes ever had. She needed to go hospital, then was off school for a week. She then got sick a few weeks later and ended up in hospital again!! Since then I've been careful to protect her as best I can and she hasn't had a trip to hospital since- thank goodness...knock on wood!

@EmmiJay

that must have been very scary for you. I’m glad she’s doing ok now.

I had an awful experience last year with my daughter, but luckily whatever it was went as quick as it came, her temp shot up to 40.3 and nothing was bringing it down even though I was following GP’s advice of regular calpol and ibuprofen with 2 hourly gaps between them. I had never seen my daughter so ill before, she was so pale, hallucinating at one point too. Fingers crossed this year she’s been ok, minor sinus infections and colds here and there but nothing too bad. So I don’t know if this plays on my mind a bit about the flu vaccine because she had it last year and I hadn’t seen her so ill before. I can’t recall how soon after the vaccine this happened but it was in mid-Oct so around the time she had it.

You don't need a GP appointment for it

Here in SE London there are community clinics so little ones who have missed it for various reasons can catch up

*obviously the arrangement will vary wherever in the country you are.

That's just the set up locally where we live

My 4yr old had it last week and 8yr old this week. They’ve both been having it since they were three. I would prefer the mild side effects of the vaccine than them get the actual flu which is particularly bad this year.

I agree with choice to an extent for children, but for things like vaccinations etc, if my child said no, I would explain to them the reasons I am going against their wishes. Children of age 4 etc don't have the reasoning skills to make sound judgements and therefore sound choices for important things, mainly because they don't understand the implications of it. Whenever you go against their wishes, you explain why.

I don't see how a 4yo can make informed non-consent about vaccines. She can have no real idea how serious an illness flu can be, nor how herd immunity works, or anything.

Also flu vaccines for children aren't new. My DD2 is 18 and she had it in reception.

The government doesn't provide all of these vaccines for free just for the fun of it.

Every year.

The last time I cared for an unvaccinated otherwise healthy child with flu, he spent months in hospital including a stint on ECMO. Fortunately the only lasting effect was some amputated digits. Incredibly lucky.

It’s possible we have a different idea of what constitutes an awful experience.

My DS1 is Y9 and was in the test year in this area. In reception the flu spray wasn't administered in school, but we had to take him to Boots so I was with him. Then every year since, his school year have been the oldest ones in school to get it. When my DS2 had it for the first time he was in pre-school and it was done at the GP, so again I was there for the first time.

Both my DS have always had it, it was not presented as a choice but as something you just do. If they had been really scared or worried about it I would have taken them to the catch up clinics they run for children who aren't in school on the day or who refuse on the day.

As soon as DS1 got to secondary age, every time there is a vaccination we get sent the consent letter but reminded that our DC can now consent for themselves (so they can refuse or agree regardless of what you say). I usually discuss the vaccination with them- why it is done, potential side effects, potential risks of not having it, benefits to the wider population of having vaccines. Both my DC are now very pro-vaccines and will always happily choose to have them. If they feel truly awful the next day (like when DS1 had covid and flu in one go) I let them take the next day off but it doesn't happen very often.

I had flu once when DS1 was a baby, so now I always pay for a flu jab for myself too. I fully understand that they just have to best guess what the dominant strains will be but I still feel it's worth a few £ and a sore arm for a couple of days.

No mine doesn’t have it.
Up to date with other vaccinations so not anti vax but for our own reasons we decided against the flu one.
There is actually a few children I know that also don’t have the flu vaccine.
when in primary the number of ones not having it was about 20-25%.

I didn't give consent when my DD was in reception. I guess I just thought it wasn't necessary and the spiel back then was that kids were bring vaccinated to protect old people, which sat badly with me.

Since then I've gotten over myself and both DC have them every year. Although I haven't bothered getting either of them a covid jab. Kids are going to have to get used to vaccinations, they will play a big part in world health in the future.

Every year, without fail. ‘Flu can be deadly. Vaccines aren’t foolproof of course but ours never had it.

Mine have always had it. DS has just had flu and took him about 3 weeks to fully get over it (every time he seemed better and went back to school he relapsed).

It would seem the main reason for immunising primary school children in particular is being missed. It’s to protection the elderly and people with co-morbidities, yes children get flu and in some cases can be quite ill but in general they have mild symptoms and because they have no personal bubble space tend to pass things on really easily. The elderly and people with co-morbidities can be very ill with flu and it can be fatal. It’s very similar to getting the covid vaccine to protect the elderly and most vulnerable.

I think if some parents could see how sick children can get from the flu in hospitals across the country they would probably choose to immunise them ( not taking about those with complications/risks etc) As the previous poster mentioned about a child needing Ecmo they were that sick.

The children/teens admitted on our ward have been wiped out from the current strain, some need o2 support and end up with a nasty chest infection, some need drips and rehydration from not being able to eat or drink. These aren’t always vulnerable children with other medical conditions. Normally healthy kids. Children aren’t just vaccinated to help others. They can actually die from flu.

@Withnoshoes never suggested that they don’t but the greater risk in the community is the elderly. I was just pointing out to the posters who don’t realise it’s not just their own children it protects.

My daughter had flu when she was about 2, it was horrendous. She's had the vaccine every year since.