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Original poster

Am we have a 'bloody fantastic Step parent thread please ?

42 replies

LlareggubTripAdviser · 29/11/2022 20:36

I am so downhearted by so many threads on here about useless partners moving in with with a Pwc ?parent with care) .. and I understand why.. you don't come to a forum for help if everything is good.. but I just want to put it out there... there are some exceptionally fab step parents around and would like to hear from you !

I'm a step mother and would not like to say if I'm fab or not.. that's in the eye of the step child .. but I iI am also a step daughter.. and would like to say how amazing he has been.. he came into our lives 7 years after my father died . A really really loved father.. completely the opposite personality, and as a teenager I was not easy 🙄... but he has stepped up to the mark and been a fantastic husband to my mother and a great person. They are both now in their late 80s and Mum has developed memory loss/early dementia.. and he is just .. Wow.. I have 2 siblings and 2 step siblings.. we are all closer now than we have ever been and try and support them both.
Anyone else or am I particularly blessed ?

OP posts:
LooLooLemon · 29/11/2022 20:39

You’re very lucky to have that relationship.

I sincerely dislike both my step-mother and my step-mil. Lucky I’ve never had to live with either and can keep my distance as an adult.

Boooooot · 29/11/2022 20:41

Pretty traumatised from my step mother but my husband is a wonderful step father and has taken on my daughter as his own.

whiteroseredrose · 29/11/2022 20:43

I adore my DstepF and adored my late DstepM.

whiteroseredrose · 29/11/2022 20:44

After my DF died, continued to see my DStepM and siblings as much as I had done when he was alive.

emily01bristol · 29/11/2022 20:45

Yes please!! I have a wonderful step father (am NC with biological father) who has been around since I was 3 and is the best father anyone could have. I’m also married to a man who is a brilliant step father to my son. And while I can’t stand my ex’s new wife (the other woman) I can see that she is a great step mother to my son.

Of course there are some pretty awful ones but there are also some bloody brilliant ones!

QueenofallIsee · 29/11/2022 20:46

My oldest daughter was blessed beyond measure with her step mother & step father, I am
grateful for such positive influences on my (now adult) daughter. Our family just attended her graduation and the 4 of us together did a much better job than just bio parents could have done.

chikp · 29/11/2022 20:46

I'm a fab stepmum

Kanaloa · 29/11/2022 20:48

My husband is a great stepdad to my older two kids. He does everything with them, has a really special relationship with them just like the younger two. There’s never any sense of ‘stepdad’ and ‘dad.’

Sometimes we get asked about it because my older two are mixed race so of course it stands out that we don’t all look the same, but they always just look really blank and say ‘but he is my dad!’ It shows how much more there is than just being biologically related.

On another example, my friend is stepmum to a teen girl. They don’t have that sort of relationship, more sort of just friendly/like an auntie relationship if that makes sense? But I think they both respect each others’ views and give each other space. Helps that the girl’s dad is a good father and not a useless lump of wax.

hay5689 · 29/11/2022 20:49

My ex was stepfather to my eldest and despite us splitting up him and his family have never treated both children differently (my youngest is his). We still get on well and my eldest is an adult now with his own children and he still visits his stepfather and step grandparents and the children call them their grandparents. You never hear the good stories only the bad.

GetOffTheRoof · 29/11/2022 20:50

DH is NC with his birth mother, has been for many years. We invited her to our wedding 8yrs ago out of courtesy but even with 9mths notice she "couldn't get dog care for the day" so declined. I mean, fine, no massive expectation she'd accept but what a shite excuse - not least of all because we knew she had lots of people who for years had taken the dog for her if she needed it.

His mum (step mum) has been in his life since he was 18mths old. She was only 19 herself. She's been a wonderful mum to him all his life, there's no consideration if her being his "step" - just his mum.

girlmom21 · 29/11/2022 20:51

My step mom took me on when I was 4, dealt with so much crap and never complained. She's always treated me as her own and I couldn't be more grateful. She's also now the best nanny my children could wish for. Really, truly and honestly so blessed.

Olinguita · 29/11/2022 20:54

My stepdad is my rock! He and my mum got together when I was in my 20s (my mum and dad long since divorced, everything amicable and above board). He and my mum are a brilliant team. He is a wonderful additional grandparent to my son. He even drove me to the hospital when I was in labour!!! He is helpful, hospitable, respectful and great fun. He is a blessing to the whole family. He even gets on well with my actual Dad!

rainbowandglitter · 29/11/2022 20:55

My ds has the best stepmum I could ever wish for. Her parents are equally as lovely step grandparents for my ds. He is truly blessed to have them all in his life.

MrsTopaz · 29/11/2022 20:57

My dad was the absolute best… but he left my mum and soon after became very ill. My step dad came on the scene a few years later and he has been amazing! He calls us his ‘bonus children’ and he’s been a real rock to my mum through difficult times. He cares for me and my sibling with such thoughtfulness. He’s stabilised our family through some turbulent times and I’m so grateful my mum found him. He’s a great step dad.

Bananasinpyjamas21 · 29/11/2022 20:58

I was a really good step mum to three step daughters, even though no one would ever openly say it! Their mother would kill them, I am still (even though now separated from Ex) the convenient punch bag.

I used to feel really hard done by. Now I look back and think, cricket I really gave those girls some stability through a very rocky period in their lives.

HelloCanYouHearMe · 29/11/2022 21:00

The man I called dad - the most amazing, caring, nurturing man for whom nothing was too much trouble, was always available to listen to a problem, offer advice and guidance and gave the best hugs...

He passed away earlier this year and I still cant believe he has gone.

If im half the step-parent to my DPs kids, that dad was to me, i'll be doing ok

Luredbyapomegranate · 29/11/2022 21:04

I am a stepmother and I do my best

I am told I am ‘not-wicked’ by the (not so) little steps

ThisMustBeMyDream · 29/11/2022 21:04

My DP has a wonderful stepdad, he is dad to him and never referred to as anything else. He came in to his life age 5 and that of his then 7 year old brother. DPs mum and stepdad divorced 12 years ago when DP was mid 20's. He is still treated exactly the same as all the younger siblings (8 of them). Just yesterday his dad sent him money to have his car fixed because it was a big bill too far for him. His dad has funded all his family court costs for DPs ongoing 5 year "battle" with his ex girlfriend. If DP needs a chat, he rings his dad. His dad has always provided wise advice to him and has supported him no matter what (and by accounts DP had a pretty wild youth!).
He treats my boys, who are not his grandchildren, and not even related to DP exactly the same as all his other biological grandchildren. Absolutely no difference whatsoever.

ryantubridysthumb · 29/11/2022 21:06

I don't have a step mum but my late mam had a step mother who was kind to her. Her father married her late in life. She was very glamorous and drove a red sports car. She was a surgeon. I remember she was kind because when she died (long after granddad), she left mam 10000 euro in her will, even though she was under no obligation to leave her anything. She would have been the richer partner compared to granddad. She also left her a coffee set which I still have. It was kind because mam had such a tough time with her parents and their break up and her mam's early death.

scrivette · 29/11/2022 21:16

I think that I am a great step Mum!

My DSS is older now but I have been in his life since he was 4, I have never tried to be his Mum as he has one already and she and I get on really well.

Now DSS is a Young Adult he happily comes and stays with us (he lives quite far away) about every 6 weeks, adores his siblings and we get on really well.

Original poster
LlareggubTripAdviser · 29/11/2022 21:42

Kanaloa · 29/11/2022 20:48

My husband is a great stepdad to my older two kids. He does everything with them, has a really special relationship with them just like the younger two. There’s never any sense of ‘stepdad’ and ‘dad.’

Sometimes we get asked about it because my older two are mixed race so of course it stands out that we don’t all look the same, but they always just look really blank and say ‘but he is my dad!’ It shows how much more there is than just being biologically related.

On another example, my friend is stepmum to a teen girl. They don’t have that sort of relationship, more sort of just friendly/like an auntie relationship if that makes sense? But I think they both respect each others’ views and give each other space. Helps that the girl’s dad is a good father and not a useless lump of wax.

My dd .. aged 13 (now 27 in the car ... (from her white Anglo Protestant BF ...) discussing family tree ... are you Indian ? Yes have you never noticed.. ? 'No really?'
Yes my dad is Indian that's why I have these eyes...

OP posts:
MeMeV · 29/11/2022 21:45

I really like my daughters step mum. She makes my life so much easier and I’d rather speak to her, than ex partner. She is super good with my daughter. My daughter is autistic and she has done a lot of research and helps with appointments etc..

Double0FeckingBollocks · 29/11/2022 21:49

They have to make their own judgement on me, but I dearly love my step children. I have been in their lives for 20 years. It's been very hard at times. They didn't choose the situation and were pretty tricky teens, but we have come through all that. I can't imagine not having them in my life.

Original poster
LlareggubTripAdviser · 29/11/2022 21:51

Thank you SO MUCH EVERYONE !! What fantastic life affirming stories that step parenting doesn't have to be so unbelievably awful !

I do have to add the caveat that this is Not the same for all.. but it seems to be because it is sooo negative on here for step parents (because who posts when things are good) I wanted to add some balance .

OP posts:
poefaced · 29/11/2022 21:53

Lovely idea for a thread, OP.

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