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Original poster

Secret santa dilemma

40 replies

Nobloodynamesiwant · 29/11/2022 20:13

So have huge family used to buy for them all. Now because of the cost and ridiculousness of it all we just buy immediate family only and no friends. So why should I join in work secret santa for distant colleagues I barely know and wouldn't have bought a gift for anyway? I would be buying a load of toot that would probably end up in landfill I know its a nice fun thing to do but if I can't afford £5 for my own relatives who I love why the fuck should I afford it for work colleagues? So do you judge colleagues who don't contribute or not? Should I just join in so as not to appear a grinch? I love Christmas I just do not see the logic in this.

OP posts:
Ilikewinter · 29/11/2022 20:19

I hate secret santa with a passion and have always refused to take part. However im now in a new job and a team of 12 and one of my colleagues delightfully announced on Monday that we are doing SS, I said no, but if I drop out it makes the number odd so I feel like ive been pressured into joining in. We are spending £10......£10 on someone I hardly know to get a shit gift back that I dont want or need back.
Dont do it OP!

IDespairOfTheHumanRace · 29/11/2022 20:21

Just don't participate - it's childish nonsense better suited to a playground than an adult workplace. I am more likely to judge colleagues who do participate, rather than those who have enough strength of character to say "bollocks to this infantile charade

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 29/11/2022 20:22

Just opt out.

Loics · 29/11/2022 20:24

I don't join in with secret Santas either. I've done it twice in my entire life - first time the person who got me couldn't make it on the day, so I got to hivr9ny present and watch everyone else open theirs. I was told mine would be dropped off and they even asked my address to send it - around 10 years later I'm still waiting! Second time I did get a large bottle of vodka which isn't cheap tat, but I don't drink spirits. 🙈

Loics · 29/11/2022 20:24

*got to give my present

ScroogeMcDuckling · 29/11/2022 20:25

i think Secret Santa is a nice idea, especially if you know who you are buying for. One year I got the man from accounts, had no idea what he was into, I asked him to give me a list of things he would like in the Secret Santa. He was happy.

me on the other hand I drop hints bigger than a sledgehammer what I want 🤣🤣

011899988I9991197253 · 29/11/2022 20:26

Ilikewinter · 29/11/2022 20:19

I hate secret santa with a passion and have always refused to take part. However im now in a new job and a team of 12 and one of my colleagues delightfully announced on Monday that we are doing SS, I said no, but if I drop out it makes the number odd so I feel like ive been pressured into joining in. We are spending £10......£10 on someone I hardly know to get a shit gift back that I dont want or need back.
Dont do it OP!

You don’t need even numbers for Secret Santa.

AdelineLou · 29/11/2022 20:26

These days a foodbank Santa might be much more appropriate - donate all gifts to charity.

Feetupteashot · 29/11/2022 20:27

Buy edible thong or bottle of wine. Job done

Balletandbooks · 29/11/2022 20:27

Gosh, I love secret santa 😳 I’m usually the one who suggests it! Anyone can opt in or out though. Opt out if you don’t like it OP (though I can’t imagine why you would!) It’s not really about the quality if the gift, it’s the surprise and guessing who gave it! Surely for £5 it’s just something small and fun anyway like a miniature spirit or a tree dec or some chocolate.

MeJane · 29/11/2022 20:27

You don’t need even numbers for Secret Santa.
Yes, that's what I was thinking.

I never do it. It's just another job.

RememberedForAllTheWrongReasons · 29/11/2022 20:27

I don’t do it at work. It’s £10. I hate all the tat that is bound for landfill.

Last year one lovely lady got a horrible item that had a price ticket on it for £4.99, it was then discovered that it was off a very senior member of staff that earns £££££ whereas she is on minimum wage! She was really pissed off. It made me very glad I don’t take part.

LokiCokey · 29/11/2022 20:28

Ilikewinter · 29/11/2022 20:19

I hate secret santa with a passion and have always refused to take part. However im now in a new job and a team of 12 and one of my colleagues delightfully announced on Monday that we are doing SS, I said no, but if I drop out it makes the number odd so I feel like ive been pressured into joining in. We are spending £10......£10 on someone I hardly know to get a shit gift back that I dont want or need back.
Dont do it OP!

You don't need even numbers, it still works... get out while you can! Grin

RunAwayTurnAwayRunAwayTurnAway · 29/11/2022 20:28

Feetupteashot · 29/11/2022 20:27

Buy edible thong or bottle of wine. Job done

Edible thong is crossing a line, PP.

NoDairyNoProblem · 29/11/2022 20:28

Ilikewinter · 29/11/2022 20:19

I hate secret santa with a passion and have always refused to take part. However im now in a new job and a team of 12 and one of my colleagues delightfully announced on Monday that we are doing SS, I said no, but if I drop out it makes the number odd so I feel like ive been pressured into joining in. We are spending £10......£10 on someone I hardly know to get a shit gift back that I dont want or need back.
Dont do it OP!

Is your colleague unable to realise if you draw names I make no difference of the participant numbers are odd or even?

dudsville · 29/11/2022 20:28

I also loathe secret santa. I've only been to one work christmas do. The food was appalling, i was given something throw away, and it was all loud and not fun.

Original poster
Nobloodynamesiwant · 29/11/2022 20:38

Balletandbooks · 29/11/2022 20:27

Gosh, I love secret santa 😳 I’m usually the one who suggests it! Anyone can opt in or out though. Opt out if you don’t like it OP (though I can’t imagine why you would!) It’s not really about the quality if the gift, it’s the surprise and guessing who gave it! Surely for £5 it’s just something small and fun anyway like a miniature spirit or a tree dec or some chocolate.

You can't imagine? I just explained why because I have 40 million relatives that I would love to buy for and can't so if I am spending money I haven't got why spend it on a stranger when I could spend it on my family?! I did it one year and bought the slightly racist person a charity gift for someone in Africa I felt good doing it and even better that she didn't appreciate it (maybe i am a grinch after all) I would love charity instead but no she wanted some pink fluffy purse made by child workers in China. It might be fun but if you don't have large family you should try putting yourself in someone else's shoes that does.

OP posts:
Skyeheather · 29/11/2022 20:39

At every work secret Santa I've taken part in, there's people who chose to opt out, just do that. It never bothered me that some people didn't want to do it, same as some people opt out of Child Jumper Day too.

Balletandbooks · 29/11/2022 20:40

Nobloodynamesiwant · 29/11/2022 20:38

You can't imagine? I just explained why because I have 40 million relatives that I would love to buy for and can't so if I am spending money I haven't got why spend it on a stranger when I could spend it on my family?! I did it one year and bought the slightly racist person a charity gift for someone in Africa I felt good doing it and even better that she didn't appreciate it (maybe i am a grinch after all) I would love charity instead but no she wanted some pink fluffy purse made by child workers in China. It might be fun but if you don't have large family you should try putting yourself in someone else's shoes that does.

Show quote history

Crikey, okay OP. Didn’t mean to offend. I mean I did say you wouldn't be unreasonable to just opt out. I like the charity idea, do that if you want to. Or don’t. No judgement here. Carry on ..

fruktsoda · 29/11/2022 20:42

Secret Santa always seems to lead to someone being disappointed or annoyed. After previous disappointments, I'd only do it with a group of people I actually liked and trusted to bring a real gift, not a stupid gag gift, or a hideous re-gift, or a too-far-under-budget gift, or no gift at all. It's no fun to be the only person who doesn't receive anything at the party.

StaceySolomonSwash · 29/11/2022 20:43

I refuse because I'm Jewish. Making someone participate in a custom that's not their religion is a kind of discrimination. I don't do secret Santa, Christmas lunch, Christmas dinner, Easter eggs, and everyone acts like I've murdered a kitten. I do however, take my religious days to mark events in my history and that's ok but when I spurn Christmas events I'm seen as the misery. 🤷‍♀️

fruktsoda · 29/11/2022 20:44

Forgot to say YANBU. Opt out if you don't want to participate. Anyone who judges is being weird, because all they need is two willing participants to "do" Secret Santa. If doesn't affect them if several people aren't interested.

fruktsoda · 29/11/2022 20:46

...Okay, actually they need at least three for it to be "secret"... 😅😂 But I'm certain they can scrounge up three people to participate.

Yellowjacketforwinter · 29/11/2022 20:50

Is there a scenario where you'd be annoyed at getting too good a gift? Our secret Santa is £15 however I bought a gift that was £20 reduced from £45. It's specific to that persons interests and looks like £45, it's beautiful. Now I'm worried it will look showy! They will be given out at a small gathering so no hiding really

Marmalady75 · 29/11/2022 20:50

Don't feel like you have to do it. Every year I say I’m not doing it and someone will pipe up with a stupid comment. The last few years I’ve said “I’m not taking part. I don’t need any more tat. I’ll use my £10 to buy a gift for Cash for Kids” (a charity that supports families in my local area). They can’t say anything to that unless they want to look really mean.