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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not bother with family member anymore?

1 reply

BrotherlyNonLove · 29/11/2022 10:39

One of my siblings lives about 40 mins away from me. We are both at the other end of the country from our original home. They are married with DC, as I am.

I see them about once every 2 years, in a group. He literally does not want to know us. I know he is busy at work, and has a family, but still, it is really hurtful. His wife has never wanted to know any of us, and I think this contributes to it.

I messaged him as I have to drive past his village to see if he fancied a quick visit, and he said he'd let me know. That has now passed.

It saddens me, but I have a lot of things going on in my life, and I can do without the headspace or sadness. I am thinking about the forthcoming year and how I need to destress my life, make it simpler, and declutter my house and brain. I am thinking, fuck it, don't bother anymore. He clearly doesn't care about his original family, as he is like this with my other siblings, and not someone I can rely on in a crisis, so don't "bother him" anymore. If this was a friend I would have stopped ages ago.

OP posts:
Beebumble2 · 29/11/2022 10:44

It is upsetting when this happens, but I think it’s more common than not.
DH and his sibling have another sibling who has gradually, over many years distanced himself. The distancing got worse after their parents died.
We remain polite and send cards as appropriate, but receive none in return.

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