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Original poster

Ofsted and Pre school

58 replies

wowmummy · 28/11/2022 21:11

Ok trying to keep this brief...

Ofsted were at my twins Pre school. They were speaking to parents and asked me about staff. I named staff my children talk about at home but one particular member of staff that I've never really got on with I said was unapproachable and she split the twins up without consulting me first and that pissed my husband and both off and said that one speaks much better without the other. At home she never shuts up, she's the quieter child but there's nothing wrong with that. Everyone is different and that's her. My son is a quiet child with the other twin being a louder child. I see no NEED either, they have a twin bond without a doubt and are still in the nurturing phase of their lives. She isn't there key worker either. She also tries to pull the comforter out of one of my twins mouths - sucking its ear 🤢 and that annoys me as they go two days out of 7 in their young lives and it doesn't do anyone any harm for the bunny to be there even if it's just on the peg. Anyway staff have found out, really frosty this morning - no professionalism but ok they are obviously annoyed and then this afternoon I went and one of them was dry in pants - hasn't been in weeks and I said 'same trousers? Yayyy' and they just ignored me. And I said 'did XXXX go themselves?' And they said 'yes but more interested in playing with the sink' so I said 'oh ok, thanks bye'

I previously told them that we were not happy to be met with 'we've split them up today' and they said they wouldn't do it again and I did say to Ofsted they are now in the same room but it was the way that particular member of staff went about it

I told Ofsted WHY I didn't like that member of staff and that is the truth and now feel I shouldn't have said anything? What is the point if you are met with that and is that being filtered down to my children and their care? Will it blow over? This was the first day they had seen me since the inspection so maybe they were wondering how I was going to be? They didn't even said 'they've been fine, had a great day'

Im sure that my comments wouldn't have affected their score?

I don't want to move them, it's all people that are clicky with the area too. However I didn't mention that in over a year I've seen no reports, nothing. Just one settling in meeting after 4 weeks. I don't even know their next steps

I'm so anxious it's unreal!

OP posts:
ILOVECHEESE79 · 29/11/2022 14:18

I feel you were unreasonable to have told an OFSTED inspector you don't like a particular member of staff. There was absolutely no need for this.
I'm not surprised the staff were off with you, however unprofessional it is, and it probably will affect how your children are treated.
I'd be looking for another preschool, personally.

AriettyHomily · 29/11/2022 14:21

djewel · 28/11/2022 22:00

Name change. Long time poster.

I'm a twin.
I've taught many many twins.
I have lots of friends with twins.

It is always in their best interests to split them. They need their own stories to tell and they need to develop their own selves.

I'm a twin.
I have twins.
It was categorically NOT in their best interest to split them until secondary.

Original poster
wowmummy · 29/11/2022 14:37

Maybe I'm too honest and should have just said oh yeah all fine. I'm a bit like water off a ducks back myself so In the social services/coat example I'd smile and be perfectly fine as I would know I had forgot a coat once and that was it

OP posts:
Original poster
wowmummy · 29/11/2022 14:43

MaverickSnoopy · 29/11/2022 13:10

As a Childcare professional myself who is very conscious of how terrified the sector is of Ofsted, my view is that you basically assassinated them.

While I've agree with you, that the things you mention are issues. You take them up directly with the nursery and work through the complaints process, then if you're unhappy with the outcome then you go to Ofsted. However, if you are happy with the outcome (or accept it and decide not to go to ofsted) during the complaints process you are then accepting that you have no place in taking it to Ofsted at a later date, particularly during an inspection. Not mentioning something that's been dealt with and is closed, isn't lying to ofsted. If it's ongoing and not dealt with then you stick to the complaints process in the first instance. I would have probably mentioned the lack of updates and next steps though. Just so you know though, the eyfs changed in 2021 and removed the need for written paperwork (apart from the 2 year check) but there should be an open dialogue about progress and you should know what their next steps are.

I think the staff are being unprofessional with you. I'm sure it will blow over. Give it another couple of weeks and if you're still not happy then discuss it with the nursery manager. However, they've probably had a b*ocking from the nursery manager and its possibly even been directed at all staff (knowing the way an awful lot of nursery managers treat their staff 😔). Keep an eye out for the Ofsted report. They get an inspection once every 6 years and so their grading will stick with them and possibly impact the business.

The staff member I'm talking about was the manager - who didn't speak to me I mean

OP posts:
Katapolts · 29/11/2022 14:47

You don't like the manager, you find her rude and have criticised her personally to Ofsted - honestly I think your relationship with the nursery has probably broken down now and I would look at moving your children elsewhere.

Original poster
wowmummy · 29/11/2022 15:42

No it wasn't the manager I said I didn't like, it was the manager that didn't speak to me on the pick up. Someone mentioned about talking to the manager that's why I said that. I worry about the impact on my children

OP posts:
MeJane · 29/11/2022 15:42

I would also look for another nursery.

The staff are only human and you have burnt your bridges there.

*I'm a bit like water off a ducks back myself so In the social services/coat example I'd smile and be perfectly fine as I would know I had forgot a coat once and that was it
*
Even if it was published and every time someone met you they would read that you are 'sometimes neglectful of the children' and 'do not meet their needs' because that's the sort of thing it might say and every time someone looks at the nursery, they will read those words.

OmiOmy · 29/11/2022 15:59

wowmummy · 29/11/2022 14:37

Maybe I'm too honest and should have just said oh yeah all fine. I'm a bit like water off a ducks back myself so In the social services/coat example I'd smile and be perfectly fine as I would know I had forgot a coat once and that was it

Sorry but you're clearly not a "water off a duck's back" person, otherwise you wouldn't have said anything.

The manager thought it had been resolved and the next thing she knows she gets feedback from Ofsted inspector about what you said.

Original poster
wowmummy · 29/11/2022 16:23

Stressing again, I was mentioning it as WHY I don't like that member of staff. I can't just say I don't like such and such for no reason. I didn't make a complaint, ring them for an inspection or anything it was part of talking about her as a member of staff

OP posts:
Prettyinpink22 · 29/11/2022 16:27

wowmummy · 29/11/2022 16:23

Stressing again, I was mentioning it as WHY I don't like that member of staff. I can't just say I don't like such and such for no reason. I didn't make a complaint, ring them for an inspection or anything it was part of talking about her as a member of staff

But why bring up that you didn’t like a certain member we of staff to begin with? Why not just talk about the ones your children mention? You had no need to say you didn’t like a member of staff. Sounds like you are holding a grudge to be honest.

Your issues were dealt with there was no need to mention them. I can understand why they are annoyed.

janglealltheway · 29/11/2022 16:47

As the issues had been dealt with there was no need to bring them up. I also think that mentioning that you dislike a particular member of staff is unfair.

Lots of nurseries are only just managing to keep their doors open at the moment, a poor OFSTED report could potentially push them to the edge. That leaves all those staff without jobs and parents without childcare!

KatMcBundleFace · 29/11/2022 17:02

Expecting a child at nursery not to be sucking a comforter is appropriate. Splitting twins up is appropriate. Hopefully OFSTED will recognise that you were just having a bit of a petty moan.

But you've just given the equivalent of a shitty review without speaking to the management before hand about your "problems" and given them chance to explain. I should imagine the staff are deeply unimpressed with you.
Hope you've learned your lesson for the sake of your children.

LondonElle · 29/11/2022 17:11

I don't think you should have mentioned you didn't like a member of staff, you brought your own opinion/feelings in to it.
Nursery workers work very hard for comparatively little pay and your comment would have deeply upset her.
You could have mentioned the issues you have had without saying how much you dislike someone but if you were happy with the setting generally then I don't get why would have said what you did!!!
It will feel like a betrayal!
I can't comment on the twin issue but at the setting I manage we don't allow soft comfort toys due to hygiene reasons.

cansu · 29/11/2022 17:42

You made it personal. You targeted one member of staff. I think that had you said ' In general I am happy about XYZ, but I did raise some concerns about keeping my children together' that would be different. You used it as an opportunity to raise everything you have ever moaned about or disliked. You said some quite unpleasant things about one member of staff. I think if I was a member of staff, I would not be too keen on you either. Lesson learnt I guess.

cansu · 29/11/2022 17:49

I am sure the staff will continue to care well for your children, but I don't think they will like you much or go out of their way to be friendly to you. If this is important to you, then you might prefer to move. I am interested though that you don't want to move and like most of the staff. You have occasionally complained and they have accommodated what you have asked for. Yet, you still decided to give a critical review to an inspector. V odd.

Rainbowcat99 · 29/11/2022 18:11

So the nursery looked after your older son well.
Then you sent the twins, they noticed that one was a lot quieter than the others and tried to help with that.
They've been dealing with their wet pants daily (presumably toilet training them for you then)
And "making a big fuss" of them when they do well.
They accepted your complaints about splitting the twins and changed things to accommodate you.

They've done all that and you repay them by moaning about them to OFSTed?

It's parents who moan, complain and find fault like this that make working with children (usually for a pittance) hard and a big part of the reason why nurseries struggle to recruit staff 🙄

LittleLadyCece · 29/11/2022 18:17

I’m not surprised they are annoyed with you whilst unprofessional it may be you’ve really stabbed them in the back to an Ofsted inspector.

A friend of mine is a teacher and I know the fear that is struck in them when they get a visit. Those reports are what parents assess nurseries and schools on for deciding where to send their children. There was no need to single one person out.

Your children won’t suffer at the nursery and I have no doubt they made a big thing of a dry day before you came to collect but I’m not surprised they were cold with you.

i think you were bang out of order

Idontgiveagriffindamn · 29/11/2022 18:24

Wow you made it way to personal about a member of staff and why you don’t like her. Of course they are going to be frosty with you.
You could have given feedback about your twins being split up without saying you didn’t like them.

Winterscomingagain · 29/11/2022 18:24

I'm sure the inspectors would be trained to disregard someone who says she dislikes a member of staff. You threw this member of staff under a bus and I'm not surprised the team are treating you like this.

Original poster
wowmummy · 29/11/2022 18:36

Rainbowcat99 · 29/11/2022 18:11

So the nursery looked after your older son well.
Then you sent the twins, they noticed that one was a lot quieter than the others and tried to help with that.
They've been dealing with their wet pants daily (presumably toilet training them for you then)
And "making a big fuss" of them when they do well.
They accepted your complaints about splitting the twins and changed things to accommodate you.

They've done all that and you repay them by moaning about them to OFSTed?

It's parents who moan, complain and find fault like this that make working with children (usually for a pittance) hard and a big part of the reason why nurseries struggle to recruit staff 🙄

No

They've haven't helped with a quieter twin. Nothing wrong with her

It's not daily

I would have expected a big fuss seeing as they are supposed to be praising achievements

OP posts:
Original poster
wowmummy · 29/11/2022 18:39

KatMcBundleFace · 29/11/2022 17:02

Expecting a child at nursery not to be sucking a comforter is appropriate. Splitting twins up is appropriate. Hopefully OFSTED will recognise that you were just having a bit of a petty moan.

But you've just given the equivalent of a shitty review without speaking to the management before hand about your "problems" and given them chance to explain. I should imagine the staff are deeply unimpressed with you.
Hope you've learned your lesson for the sake of your children.

Why is separating twins expected?

OP posts:
Rainbowcat99 · 29/11/2022 18:46

"It's not daily"

"and then this afternoon I went and one of them was dry in pants - hasn't been in weeks."

In your first post, this implies that the rest of the time they've been wet then?

And whether you agree with them splitting the twins, the fact was that in nursery one twin was quieter and they tried to help. Then when you complained they changed things back for you.

So they sound like they're trying their best... I'm beginning to see why they're a bit frosty tbh. They'll never be your best mates I wouldn't have thought.

But in answer to your first question, yes it'll blow over in all probability most of them will be polite and professional and treat your kids well, which is all you can ask for really.

AdelineLou · 29/11/2022 18:50

I work alongside Ofsted inspectors during inspections. Ofsted will take a wider view, not the view of one parent. They will check out with other parents to find a wider picture. Only if a few parents are expressing the same concerning view will they accept and report. They will also want to know how the nursery takes parents views into account.

Like anyone leading in the education sector, Inspectors know there is always ‘that parent’ ( as everyone else was likely quite positive). In this case it is likely you are ‘that parent’.

Original poster
wowmummy · 29/11/2022 19:15

Rainbowcat99 · 29/11/2022 18:46

"It's not daily"

"and then this afternoon I went and one of them was dry in pants - hasn't been in weeks."

In your first post, this implies that the rest of the time they've been wet then?

And whether you agree with them splitting the twins, the fact was that in nursery one twin was quieter and they tried to help. Then when you complained they changed things back for you.

So they sound like they're trying their best... I'm beginning to see why they're a bit frosty tbh. They'll never be your best mates I wouldn't have thought.

But in answer to your first question, yes it'll blow over in all probability most of them will be polite and professional and treat your kids well, which is all you can ask for really.

In my first post I also say they are there 2 days out of 7. Yes they haven't been dry there in weeks

I never had anyone express anything about 'quiet' etc it was just told to me the day they split them up.

I haven't said I wanted them to help her not be quiet 😂😂😂 if that's who she is thats who she is, nothing wrong with being quiet

They put them back together yes after I emailed them

OP posts:
LondonElle · 29/11/2022 19:27

You don't sound sorry at all.