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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Christmas money

17 replies

Heyup44 · 28/11/2022 20:57

My husband has 5 kids, A few weeks ago I offered to pay for all our (we have 2 together) kids Christmas presents and one of our child’s birthday this December. I said you just pay for the other 3 (from previous relationship) as he was worried about money. Just as a side note he earns about 10k more than me, although we split everything equally apart from CSA payment which he just pays.

Kindly, his parents have given him £1000 to help him out over Christmas. I made an assumption that he’d give me the £250 out of the £1000, that I’ve spent on our kids to help me out. He doesn’t think he should have to as I said I’d pay for them. (This was Before he got the money). He wants to keep it all for himself to pay for his car service and his other kids presents. I’m really sad and angry that he won’t give me any money towards the money I’ve spent and he was angry at me for making the assumption that he is would help me out. I’m I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
AutumnCrow · 28/11/2022 21:03

Of course you're NBU but how important is this car service to running a car that is essential to family life?

SavingKitten · 28/11/2022 21:03

How much is the budget per child?

OrigamiOwls · 28/11/2022 21:04

It does sound a little like what is his is his & what's is yours is also his.

CandyLeBonBon · 28/11/2022 21:05

So 3 from a previous relationship and 2 together, yes?

K37529 · 28/11/2022 21:07

so he told you he was struggling for money and you offered to pay for 2 of his 5 kids Christmas presents. Noe he’s come into money and doesn’t think he should give you any? How selfish id be fuming

Heyup44 · 28/11/2022 21:14

dont really have a budget, I just got what they asked for. I did 2 x Christmas and 1x birthday out the £250 so haven’t gone mad.

OP posts:
Heyup44 · 28/11/2022 21:15

Yeah that’s right.

OP posts:
chikp · 28/11/2022 21:17

Leave him. He's not a team player and wants tou to subsidise his kids

Heyup44 · 28/11/2022 21:17

he will probably spend about £300 on the other 3 maybe less as they are older.

OP posts:
FrangipaniBlue · 29/11/2022 23:03

So basically he hasn't paid for any of his kids xmas presents because you paid for 2 and his parents paid for the other 3?

What a peach.

Idontliketea · 29/11/2022 23:07

Heyup44 · 28/11/2022 21:17

he will probably spend about £300 on the other 3 maybe less as they are older.

YANBU
£300 between them or £300 each? How much is the car service?

PJsAndRainyDays · 29/11/2022 23:08

I just don't understand marriages like this - it seems really mean and not like you are a team.

Quitelikeit · 29/11/2022 23:10

No no no.

insist he pays half of your twos Xmas and birthday gifts

can’t stand greed

poefaced · 29/11/2022 23:10

He is being selfish.

But now you know what to do with you get money from your parents, OP or the lottery. He has a set a precedent.

Puddywoodycat · 29/11/2022 23:16

I don't understand the maths!

What children has he paid for? Do you both put Money away each month for Xmas?

Cats23 · 29/11/2022 23:22

so he isn't paying for amy of his kids at all- What a great family man!
I'd tell him he pays half of what you have or you leave...

Cactusprick · 29/11/2022 23:42

He was worried about money so you said you’d help and pay for those presents, but now he doesn’t need to worry about money as he’s not forked out any of his own at all!

Really selfish and I’d be furious and upset! Greedy sod.

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