Ex husband going on holiday ????

[Snazwark]

Slight rant but I need to vent before my head explodes .
quick backstory : ex husband very abusive and controlling has form for leaving the country ( even when children were small unannounced ) with no thought to others . we have a court order in place and he is meant to be picking the children up Thursday , he's booked a bloody holiday ( that he is on now ) and won't be back to get them , he only has them 4 days a month and I work later the weekends he has them.
I may have lost my shit with him but it's so bloody irresponsible , AIBU ?? He's just let me know .

You’re not being unreasonable , but somehow you need to learn how to take the high ground and not let him get to you. It sounds like he’s an absolute shit parent to do this to his own kids. You’re the better parent in this so let him be an arse as he won’t change, and try not to let it get to you.

He is careless , irresponsible and unkind to your kids . I am not surprised you went mad at him.

Unfortunately you can't force him to have the children if he doesn't want to, and he obviously knows that. It's still a man's world isn't it?

Thank you. It's already slightly calmed me down just being backed up that I'm not unreasonable . I would have arranged something if he had actually given me notice . I'd love to just jump on a flight no shits given

What you need to do is recognise that this is just another way of him controlling you. No doubt about it. He does not tell you in time, he might be there he might not be there. What you do is just stick to the visitation rights if he takes them up at the time he can’t even if he doesn’t take them up no problem. I wiould also keep a diary. Since you ditched him he has no right to control you through the children. So just stick to the rules. If you appear like you have lost it he has one. I think very widely. Just say what a pity because the girl or whatever was looking forward to seeing him. But he can see her next week. I wouldn’t make up the time. I would not let him muck me around.

The court really should fine men who pull this shit.