To stay in a loveless marriage

[Twisty9]

I have been slowly falling out of love with DH, we had some really rocky points after our second baby was born and and when she was 6 weeks old he moved into his mums. I really resented him as I needed him, he doesn’t do much to bell me round the house and I have noticed only recently I have to be drunk to have sex with him. The kids love him and financially we are better off together? WWYD?

I honestly couldn't stay in a loveless marriage. If you were to split, how would it would in practical/financial terms?

Is there any chance counselling will help, or is it past that stage?

If your reluctance to leave is based on the children, let me tell you, they will know you don’t love their dad.
It’s such a clichè, but it is true, life is so short. Will you look back on your life and be glad you stayed with a man you didn’t love because it was easier financially. Or will you regret not giving yourself, and him, the chance to love and be loved?

I'd leave. 100%

Leave. It will not get better. All of it feels too big to cope with right now but in a year or two time you will be SO pleased you made the break. My only regret in leaving was I didn't do it earlier.

He abandoned you when you had two dc incl a newborn to go back to his mum's? and then at some point HE decided to return?
And he still expects sex?
I'd just crack on with the legal break up.
The actual relationship is over.

Xxxxxx

While I understand the reluctance to split the family up you would be putting a sticking plaster on a war wound if you stayed “for the children”.

They will know. However hard you try to disguise it. Living with two people who don’t respect each other isn’t a recipe for high self esteem. And by staying you are signalling to them that they should accept a sub-standard marriage.

Parents separating is not of itself what does the damage to kids. What hurts them is resentment, bitterness and lack of consistency and routine.

I’m not going to pretend it’s as simple as saying “just leave”, because I know it’s not. But you know in yourself that it’s not a permanent solution.