Who was being unreasonable?

[BaileyG]

Who was unreasonable, Emma or Jane?

Jane has never been late with a birthday card for Emma's daughter. Emma has sometimes been late with a birthday card for Jane's daughter.

Recently for Emma's daughters birthday, Jane kept forgetting to pass the card in as she was away on holiday and then was really busy with a hospital emergency with a family member.

In the meantime, Jane's DH had been to Emma's house to help her DH with some DIY and back there 2 days later to drive them an hour away to collect something. Jane still forgot to give the birthday card to DH to pass in.

10 days after Emma's daughters birthday, the day after the above, Emma sends a message to Jane to say its gone too far now and it's disgusting that Emma's daughter hasn't had her present and she shouldn't be waiting this long. This caused a pretty big argument as Jane had genuinely forgot to pass this card in and had so much going on with the hospital that it just got overlooked. Remembering that Emma was often late with birthday cards but it was never an issue, Jane was always grateful no matter what.

Who was being unreasonable?
Emma: vote YABU
Jane: vote YANBU

If you're not Jane then I don't know why you posted this so I hope you are Jane

Do people actually act like this over a birthday card, surely not

What is pass in, I've never heard that phrase, assuming it means pass on but interested in where that comes from.

It's written completely factual. It's how it happened. How else do you want me to write the facts?

Surely it’s just stating the facts as OP sees them?

OP hasn’t said Emma is a bitch or anything.

Everyone here is BU to create so much drama over a present/card. From the OP, Emma is being the twattiest, though it's clearly written with a bias towards Jane so who knows in reality

As long as the child involved remained oblivious none of what the adults thought or did matters.
I had a friend who forgot to arrange a card or gift when her DC came to his party. Although it's the done thing, I couldn't get too upset about it, he had plenty of cards and gifts and wouldn't have noticed. But she kept telling him she had it in her car and would hand it in etc (her parents live in the same street as us and do her childcare so plenty of opportunity). Everytime he saw her DS was hopeful she had his gift and would ask, every time it was 'oh sorry, I forgot again, silly me!'. It was obvious after the first time she hadn't got one. I wish she hadn't strung him along like that, she would have kicked off if someone did the same to her kid.

It's written how it happened. Exactly how it happened. I was posting for opinions because that's what people do on Mumsnet, get different perspectives. Regardless of what I think is right, it happened, its caused a little divide because Jane can't quite believe Emma would message over something like this, and now Emma is angry that Jane told her that.

Apologies for asking for votes, I should have realised that you can only ask certain things on Mumsnet.

Emma is being ridiculous. Why does she expect Jane to provide a card and present to her daughter anyway? It's nice to receive from family but there should be no expectation or demand. If the child had asked then fine, but I would hope they would be brought up with enough manners to understand they shouldn't expect a card or present from everyone.

@cookiesbeforepookies Surely it’s just stating the facts as OP sees them? Yes, as OP sees them, so not facts just hearsay which is clearly biased towards Jane. Where's Emma's detailed point of view?

I think I'd be saying you're normally late with your presents so if it's not important for you as the gifter why is it suddenly so important when the gift is for your child?

It is literally how it happened. No issues between these 2 people before. Jane was late with the card, Emma sent a text saying its out of order. Emma would say the exact same thing because its how it happened.

Emma is being ridiculous. There should be no expectation of a card or gift, and if it comes then great. People who are saying it's written biased towards Jane.... I see facts that the card was late and Emma wasn't happy. How is that biased towards Jane? Emma sounds like a dick, a massive dick.

Picking apart the original post rather than taking it at face value is really tiresome. Posts are written by actual people who have biases, it's pretty impossible impossible write in an unbiased way, even journalists slip up. It comes across as pretty factual to me. I guess I can see how Emma would be upset if Emma or Jane had promised to child a present and the child hadnt got one as it's not nice to let a child down.

However under the circumstances when a family member is ill and someone has been away and doing hospital visits, Emma is being ridiculous to punish Jane for her husband forgetting. It's incredibly rude to demand a present under normal circumstances. Has anyone pointed out to her that she is often late with presents?

This happened to me once with a friend and they kept promising my child a birthday present for 6 months (they did then eventually give them one), I was a bit annoyed about the promising as my child was taking it at face value that next time there would be a present then getting a bit upset there wasnt one. However I just reminded my child that this person has a history of forgetting and it doesnt matter as they have loads of other presents. It wasnt a huge disaster

Ffs this isnt even a first world problem as there is no problem! Just a very self.aborbed, entitled and spoilt parent.

Eh? Not sure you understand how Mumsnet works. We only ever get the OP's point of view, never the other person(s).

If you object to that, then you must object to the whole concept of anonymous online forums.

7% of people have voted Jane was unreasonable? The mind boggles!

Jane should neither apologise nor entertain Emma and her petty drama, neither should you.

The whole thing is bloody ridiculous.

😂You're right of course, I can't even blame lack of sleep or anything 😕