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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Selfish mother

10 replies

LeftCoast · 27/11/2022 22:25

Spoke to mum late Oct asking about their Christmas plans. She said they haven't talked about it yet. I let her know DH invited his aunt and uncle to our place so I'm inviting her and dad to join us. She replies they were planning on having Christmas at their place this year for us to come to. 🤔
I said our invite has already gone out so they are welcome to join or not. She says they will join us.
It's now late November and just spoke to mom to see how they are doing recovering from COVID. Told her DH and I have colds. She responds that if we are busy and tired out from being sick she will have DH and I over to their place for Christmas since they are retired. I said we have DH's aunt and uncle coming for Christmas as well and her response is tell them you aren't hosting Christmas anymore and you'll see them some other time.
I told her I can't do that! That is so rude. She responds I always have a problem with everything.
AIBU that I am so angry and don't really want my mum over for Christmas now? I'm so worried she will be rude and ruin it for everyone. If I try to talk to her about this it will turn into a massive fight where my parents will then slander me to all of our extended family.

OP posts:
Keyansier · 27/11/2022 22:30

You told your mother you and your DH were sick from covid and she said that if you're too ill and tired out and haven't recovered by Christmas she will host you both for Christmas, cook Christmas dinner etc and your response is to find fault with her?

3beesinmybonnet · 27/11/2022 22:35

@Keyansier
OP and DH had colds. OPs parents had Covid.

yoyo1234 · 27/11/2022 22:36

I think it's just a cold OP has with her DH. I can understand your frustration OP. You do not feel listened to.

Lilabelle22 · 27/11/2022 22:48

That would bug me too. Purely because she doesn't seem to be listening. Is she like this with other stuff too? Is it a build up of things she does that are annoying you or just is your issue just around Xmas

StoneofDestiny · 27/11/2022 23:14

Tell her you will see her Boxing Day

MiddleParking · 27/11/2022 23:16

Is she usually jealous over you like that? Does she have a problem with your DH?

LeftCoast · 27/11/2022 23:17

Keyansier · 27/11/2022 22:30

You told your mother you and your DH were sick from covid and she said that if you're too ill and tired out and haven't recovered by Christmas she will host you both for Christmas, cook Christmas dinner etc and your response is to find fault with her?

She wants me to uninvited DH's aunt and uncle so she can have it her way.
DH and I will be over our colds by then. She's trying to control the situation.

OP posts:
Byelaws · 27/11/2022 23:18

She sounds awful. Don’t spend Christmas with her.

parrotcarrotclaret · 27/11/2022 23:30

Ignore.

Just repeat that you have guests coming for Christmas and they can come too, or not.

My mother does similar, I sympathise.

LeftCoast · 27/11/2022 23:52

She rarely listens or considers others. I’m used to that behaviour towards me but I’m really bothered that she would be willing to ask me to disinvite DH’s aunt and uncle.

OP posts:
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