To not tell my partner I’ve had a miscarriage

[BakingMad91]

My partner works away for weeks at a time however he is currently applying for new jobs to work closer to home.

I recently found out I was pregnant a couple of days before he had an interview, I decided not to tell my partner until after his interview to avoid putting extra pressure on him to do well. Unfortunately I started bleeding on the morning of his interview. Would I be unreasonable not to tell him I was ever pregnant? Telling him will only upset him and selfishly I just want to deal with this in my own way.

Do whatever you want, and whatever makes you comfortable at this time I'm sorry this has happened and hope you are OK.

You may change your mind in the future and if you do then you can tell. You don't have to either way, your choice x

I'm sorry you've had this experience. I've had many now and they are all awful however far along you are. I chose not to tell anyone in RL about my last one but my DH worked it out because I was out of sorts and very emotional, then he was hurt I hadn't told him about the positive test or the MC but understood I needed to deal with it in my own way. He's another who is often away for long stretches of time with work. I did eventually tell my sisters and parents about 2 MC earlier this year but I went into a huge funk and basically grieved all over again for the losses, although it was much shorter period of grief than I experienced at the time.

Be kind to yourself whatever you decide, it's such a personal thing and you're not alone.

Definitely put yourself first right now and do what is best for YOU x

Thank you all for your kind words x

Personally I would tell him. It’s a horrible, huge think to mentally deal with alone.
if it was my husband and he didn’t find out til a while after he would be upset that I hadn’t shared my upset with him.

obviously it’s your decision in the end, but I do feel it takes two people to make the baby so two people should share the joys and the upsets x

Your mc may be relevant to future pregnancies... As in you may need to tell a mw. He will be very hurt if time passes and then he finds out. Surely ttc is a joint venture and he should be treated with respect and the chance to support you?

I would tell him, it was his child too, but you do what you feel comfortable with.

You do whatever you want to do. Don’t tell, do tell. Don’t tell now and do tell later. It’s your body and your emotions.

What you want to do is entirely your choice but I know that I couldn't have gig through a miscarriage earlier this year without my partner knowing. I didn't tell anyone else and having him know really helped when I needed a big, a cry or even someone to take the children's moods on for a bit when I couldn't handle them

It is a completely personal choice and it does depend on your circumstances but I would tell him to give him a chance to support you. When I was in EPU crying ugly tears DH was besides me holding my hand and it got me through. I am so sorry for your loss 💐

I think he deserves to, it was his baby too, he deserves to know it was created even if it only stayed for a short while

It’s your decision but I do think he’d appreciate knowing so he can support you. And it might come up in the future from a health care perspective - which if it does could be awkward if he finds out at a later date

I had an early loss and have never told my husband, it would’ve only distressed him. When I had my booking in appointment I made the midwife aware and I went through the rest of my pregnancy with my son without it coming up again.