To ask for self esteem boosting tips

[Boooooot]

My self esteem is rock bottom. I’m too ashamed of myself to leave the house most days which is effecting my life and marriage massively as I just can’t believe that my husband can love me.

i need to start slowly working on building my self esteem back up just enough to be able to function again. I’m on a waiting list for therapy but this could take months.

Im very overweight but am on a waiting list for the eating disorders clinic too.

Theres probably lots of mums better who could do with some tips too so though it would be nice to get a thread going.

Tell me one thing you are happy with. Something that is good in your life or about yourself.

My life is great! It’s me that’s the problem.my kids are great, we have a lovely home, I have a lovely husband etc.
The self loathing is just immense.

Think of one thing you regularly do right.

I can’t think of anything 🥲

One thing you have done right recently. If there is nothing, clean the fridge.

You don’t have great kids without being a good parent.

You need to love and value your body and if you can't yet, at least act as though you do.
It's size and shape doesn't matter, its still the most important thing you have. It keeps you on this planet and gave you your children, so treat it like the precious priceless thing it is.
Give it nothing but the best care. The most nourishing food you can manage. Creams and lotions to protect it from the outside. Gentle movement to keep your muscles working. Fresh air and daylight.Take vitamins D and C, and magnesium helps too.
Then your mind. It needs rest and peace and time to yourself, but also stimulation. Read and watch things that you can immerse yourself in. If you can bring yourself to get out, visit places of interest or beauty, and while you're there focus on what you're seeing and experiencing rather than on yourself. If you're not thinking about yourself you're not hating yourself, and it starts to break the cycle.
When your thoughts turn negative towards yourself try to switch them to thoughts of others. Think about the things your children have told you that day, the funny thing your husband said. Remember their love for you, and know that that's for a reason.
It might all sound trite and cheesy, but these things worked for me.

While you are waiting for therapy, there are things you can do to start slowly lifting yourself up - and in fact you have started already by posting here - which is great. Mumsnet will be full of ideas.

There are books which can help with overcoming your loss of confidence, such as the fear of going out or not being good enough. A classic is 'Self Help for Your Nerves' by Dr Claire Weekes which is based on her work as a GP over many years and addresses problems like shame and guilt.

You could buy it online or even read it online. I've just checked and they have a copy of it on Internet Archive which is a free online library from which you can borrow it for up to 14 days and download it as a pdf file. All you need to do is sign on and log in.

Another very well known one is 'Your Erroneous Zones' by Wayne Dyer. I'm sure you could find it to buy or read online too. And Paul McKenna is very good on simple techniques you can easily learn and practise for controlling fear.