How to cope with social anxiety

[pecanpie24]

Hi everyone, relatively new here so not sure where to post. But as the tittle states - I've always been a rather shy person and as I have gotten older I've become more confident. However, the anxiety has been creeping up on me for well over a year and the past couple of months it's taken a turn for the worst. I struggle to hold conversations, I really really dread any social event, to the point I feel sick and cancel. I also struggle to find people on my wave length and just generally struggling day to day.
I'm not sure what to do from here on, do I go to the doctors and try and get anxiety tablets, or are there better coping mechanisms as I don't particularly want to resort to prescribed drugs straight away and seem to have got a brick wall.

Honestly, the best way to get better at this is to practice it.
Expose yourself to social situations as much as you can. Even if just for 30 mins. Have an exit plan for if it gets too much but keep at it. Practice makes perfect

CBT is free and evidence based. Treatment is available. You can self refer.

Don’t have any advice but I know a lot of people have felt this way post COVID. All the best with dealing with it. I think you’ll turn a corner and it will get much easier.

I would try CBT first, but I would encourage you to think about medication. Dd was consumed with anxiety which led to an eating disorder, she was prescribed Sertraline and it has transformed her quality of life. I know people are reluctant to take medication for anxiety/depression/stress, etc. but would you have the same attitude to, say, thyroid meds? Talk to your GP about your options, life can be better than this 💐

I just don’t go out ! My family know I won’t go to anything social, I avoid school drop off etc too and dh does it

@raspberryfizzy thanks for this. Does CBD actually work? Assuming it's the oils you can buy?

there’s no magic bullet but the following have helped me:
CBT
Mindfulness
propanolol

CBT, not CBD! 😁 Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. It helps you change how you react to things that trigger your anxiety. You can get a certain number of sessions on the NHS, via self referral.

I have this so hey a bit of solidarity.

Like pp said exposure is best remedy for me. Going to things you feel anxious about. In my opinion social anxiety or mine at least is worse with people who are a bit more self absorbed or very into appearance etc. I find people who are less high maintenence easier to talk to and be with and therefore I don't feel as anxious or bad about myself.

Funny thing is I bet nobody would even be able to tell you feel anxious. It's a lot more common then you think. Sometimes I blush and stumble on words. Yesterday I meet some old friends for the first time since pre pandemic and felt very anxious. But other mum friends I've made I feel a lot less like this and actually look forward to going even if I can (or at least feel like I can) be a bit awkward.

It's something no one really talks about. Maybe if we all let each other know how anxious we were we'd all feel better and relax a little bit 😁

-Going to things with a trusted friend/family member/partner
-CBT (so important with social anxiety as the negative thoughts and ruminating exacerbate the symptoms)
-Making an effort and looking nice (just helps with my confidence)
-Radical acceptance (maybe part of CBT - but just accepting, ok, so I'm dealing with social anxiety/was anxious in that interaction/am anxious about this upcoming situation, but it is what it is and it's ok)
-propranolol in particularly anxiety-inducing situations

I had severe social anxiety to the point I was totally mute outside the house, due to PTSD. I went from that to a career where I was leading group presentations 3+ times a week. I really understand how debilitating and frustrating it is. Hope this helps!

@georgarina thats amazing the progress you made! What steps do you feel helped you the most to overcome social anxiety?

Thank you!

It was a very long process. I was in intensive talk therapy for years (not specifically anxiety-related but to work through the trauma)

At the beginning, propranolol was a lifesaver, because my biggest negative thought cycle was that people would see that I was anxious, and that would make me even more anxious, and I could push myself into a panic attack that way. With the propranolol I was confident that, even if I was nervous, I wouldn't physically show it, so it helped break that cycle.

I really leaned on relationships in which I already felt comfortable, to keep things in perspective and stop ruminating - because everyone has awkward moments and does stupid things. It helped me retell embarrassing moments in a funny way, and learn to laugh at myself rather than ruminate.

I tried to do as much as I was reasonably comfortable with - because the anxiety shrinks or expands to fit your comfort zone, so if you stop doing one thing, you become anxious about a smaller thing.

And finally, as I mentioned above, radical acceptance. This took a long time because with social anxiety it doesn't matter if other people say it isn't a big deal - it IS a big deal when you're going through it. I learned to accept that I had social anxiety and that was ok. (Before my trauma I never had anxiety and was a total attention-seeker, loved being on stage and meeting new people, etc, so I really judged myself and got angry at myself and felt like my life was ruined.)

You can also try anxiety meds - these never worked for me but they do for some people.

I only recently, finally got myself out of the rut of social anxiety and it's so freeing. If you keep working at it you can definitely crack it. Good luck x

CBD 😅