Is this a bit cheeky of friend?

[Polgrds]

I missed a friend's birthday party a few weeks ago due to illness. I messaged to explain at the time and said I'd love to come over to her city (about an hour away) and take her out for lunch instead. She was happy with that so yesterday I messaged her about next weekend and asked which restaurant she fancied. She recommended one and I booked it online.

This morning after confirming booking with restaurant she messaged me to say actually why doesn't she catch train to the station near me, I pick her up in my car (she doesn't drive) and we drive to another city about 90 mins away on the Sunday evening for a walk to see the Christmas market/ displays.

I was a bit taken aback as it was a complete change of plan and time to what we'd agreed and I'm unable to meet that evening as other plans. A three-hour round trip also feels like quite a lot. I politely message to say I'd be unable to but was still good for original plan if she still fancied it?

AIBU to think it was a bit cheeky? If the other city was nearer and I didn't have plans that eve then I'd be happy to change but it just seemed strange after booking the restaurant. And agreeing etc

I wouldn't say cheeky. It was a suggestion for something she would like with enough time to cancel original .

You couldn't do it and have said so. No big deal.

I don't know if it's cheeky, it's a bit of a stretch given the plans already made though. Did she give plenty of notice? I'm guessing she'd just like to see the Christmas market etc but it you can't, you can't.
Has she reacted to your response?

As above. I think it is cheeky to ask you to drive for three hours yes. But suggesting a new plan was OK. And fine for you to say no.

Not cheeky. An alternative plan.

No she's not reacted yet. This isn't the first time that we make a plan and agree then she suggests something much further away that needs a car. I get that she doesn't drive so she may want to make the most of time in the car etc, maybe I'll suggest more of a daytime next time

Daytrip

How is that cheeky?
Restaurant bookings are easily cancelled and didn’t cost you anything.
She suggested a really nice alternative, without putting you out - e.g. she said she’d get train close to you.
Yes, it’s more time but as a friend I’d be delighted if a friend wanted to increase their time with me!

TheNewSchmoo · Today 16:35
I wouldn't say cheeky. It was a suggestion for something she would like with enough time to cancel original .
You couldn't do it and have said so. No big deal.
..............
I agree with that. She can but ask.

Do you like her?

it sounds like a nice plan but if you don’t want to do it just say no as you have done

why are people always assuming the worst in someone

It doesn't sound too big an ask?
You were going to drive for two hours anyway, the new suggestion would mean driving three hours. It's not a huge difference?
Sounds like she's bored going out in her own city and suggested something more fun for both of you?
If a friend wanted a day trip with me and I were skint I'd say "great let's share petrol money if ok with you" but you did already suggest driving a long way.

I wouldn't be annoyed.

Her plan sounds more fun and a better way to spend quality time together

It sounds to me like she's trying to lose weight before Christmas and has rethought it.

This is the time of year when it's endless dinner parties and one blows up like a balloon so she does want any more meals.

Can the money you would have spent on the meal not be employed to pay for petrol to cover the day out?

It’s perfectly fine to decide to do something different.are you generally inflexible?

YANBU. You've acted in a completely functional way throughout. I think the issue here is that your friend doesn't drive, and non drivers simply do not appreciate how time consuming and stressful additional driving is. While they stare out of the window having a lovely day out, it's a very different experience for the driver.

I'd stick to plan A and explain that I don't want to do even more driving, as 3 hours is tiring, so even if she doesn't want to go to the restaurant offer her the choice of something else locally. I cant see a problem from either side with that.