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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is it me !?!

1 reply

Bluehummingbird92 · 27/11/2022 08:33

Ok before you read this... I love my partner. We both have quirks and he is the nicest guy I have ever met.....

But... ive just found the last month really hard.
I am on maternity leave until mid Feb. I love being home with my little baby. Maternity Pay ran out 2 months ago, so my husband decided to take on some more overtime. Which is really kind. However its not needed.... I have asked him to stop as both baby and I need more time with him.
He is leaves the house at 7 am and comes home at 7pm.
These are the only hours out baby is awake. He rushes home to put baby to bed. But misses it most days. I have tea ready during the week for when he gets home. And hes that tired he goes straight to bed after tea, or he goes to meet his mates for a drink.
I am shattered. Were both grumpy. Hes spent the last 2 weekends ill, as has the baby. But he refuses to take time off work. This weekend he was going on a lads weekend with his brothers. But was complaining hes ill and might have to cancel. He says he never sees anyone, or does anything. Which is kind of true. He goes out 2 evening a week. For a couple of hours.
The other night I was upset. The house is a mess. (I manage washing, drying and the pots after baby is in bed) i havnt seen any friends since having my baby, some havnt even messaged me. I see 2 or 3 people in a week that are mainly for the babys benefit (other mums). I hadnt had a shower for 5 days as my partner was ill. Baby was ill and screamed when I put them down. Last night I came downstairs after putting baby to bed. I was rushing round to tidy up and wash. I was told to stop listing and dramatising things. Relax, ill help you in the morning.... well its morning. The house is upside down. Im tired after 5 hours of sleep. My husbands just having a brew saying hes fed up he cant go for beers with his mates, then asks me why the baby is crying..... my responce was they have done this for 4 days...... he just sighs and walks out as he cant cope with the noise. I cried. Im so lonely, im tired, my house is a disgrace, Baby is teething so just crying, I am dreading returning back to work as I have been refused part time, my husbands thinks his advice is amazing and will fix my life. "Just organise drinks with your friends" "Just make more of an effort with them" "just take baby for a walk when shes screaming".... he forgets I have the baby and he has the car so were stuck, or to just take baby for a walk I need to put them down to get changed which currently i struggle to do, or that I am paranoid I havnt had a shower. I love my baby. They are the only thing that makes me happy currently. Is it just me? I dont really know what answers there are.... I think I just needed a rant.

OP posts:
EHopes · 27/11/2022 08:41

Huge hugs.

No. He isn't being helpful.

He is a he other parent and he isn't pulling his weight. He goes out twice a week for beer? And has weekends away? Has he ever once looked after the baby for even 2 hours so you can sleep, or have a bath? Let alone go out without the baby?

Money is only part of his responsibility towards the two of you.

It is reasonable for you to be tired and upset.

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