To wish I could hit a reset button with 9 year old DS

[Christmasiscalling]

I am despairing of my 9 year old DS. He is so rude, cheeky, lazy and has a terrible attitude. He doesn't want to do anything but sit on a screen and watch YouTube or play on the xbox. I am feeling like a complete failure.

He was always the sweetest child, so imaginative and interested in everything. Since covid we got stuck on screens a lot and haven't been able to reverse it.

Yesterday I started cracking down and setting limits on everything but when I do so it just makes him worse as he says he hasn't got anything to do.

We have a comfortable life, DH and I work flexibly so we are always at drop off/pick up. We spend a lot of time together. He has a room full of toys and gadgets, a bike, scooter, we go on days out every weekend, we travel, he has so many opportunities and yet he just can't be bothered with anything or whines the whole time we are out. He never wants to even leave the house. He would stay in the whole time if he could.

Sorry for the rant. I just wish I could hit a reset button.

Personally I would go cold turkey on the Internet. I know it would be really hard for a little while, but it will really pay off.

It sounds like he needs a tech detox. The first 3 days will be terrible, but then he will get back to himself. After a couple of months of no tech at all, you can build short blocks back in.

You need to control the screens now, ideally make him earn them. This will only get worse if you don’t nip it in the bud.
Ignore his complaints about boredom, he’ll find something to do if you stick to your guns.

I agree, I think if you get him off the internet you'll have short-term hideousness but he will eventually come up with things to do. You'll have to make sure you stay off screens yourself around him, though.

Remove the screens entirely. He doesn’t need them at his age.
it will be hell but worth it.

Cold Turkey.. He's addicted. He'll absolutely thank you for it when he's older.

I agree that screen control is key.

I do also remember, however, that when my (now absolutely lovely) 16 year old son was that age, I felt the same and thought he was just awful. Then his school had a parents information evening talking about different ages and stages of development & hormones and that made me see him in a different light as his behaviour ticked every box that they were discussing. Not saying it's the same for your DS but don't rule it out (whilst also limiting screen time). My lovely son came back when he was about 11/12 (& thankfully we've not had a terrible teens stage!).