I don’t know what’s wrong with me

[Chuckle94]

I feel so anxious and paranoid all the time that it is actually effecting my whole life. I constantly feel like I am being judged or even my children are. I have no idea why I feel this way but it’s got the point I can’t ever relax.

was stood close to some people in town earlier and they looked in our direction and turned around and laughed and I thought they were talking about us. I have no idea if they were, or what they said but it played on my mind and it ruined my whole day. I couldn’t think of a reason why they would laugh but I’ve really convinced myself they were laughing at us.

sometimes I can be somewhere and feel a really strong urge to just leave, like I need to just get away. I am so exhausted from feeling like this. I want to be normal again and care free. I know I sound so ridiculous but what is wrong with me??

I know you maybe thinking I should get a grip and trust me I really want to as well but i can’t stop overthinking and worrying all the time, especially about my children. What should I do?

I don't think "get a grip" at all. I think you need help. I think you need to see a GP.

Do you have anyone you can talk to about this. It's such a lonely place to be. It is also really common - I have felt those things. But you sound like it's at the point it's taking over and it's not something you should have to deal with alone.

I am a bit like this. I feel like when I talk people pause as they don't know what to say because I've said something so boring or stupid or they simply don't want to waste their time talking to me when they could be talking to someone far more hip or interesting.

I also feel like people judge my children too like they don't think they're 'cool' or 'cute' enough. I know it probably stems from my own insecurity but I hate the thought that I've potentially brought them into the world and for anyone not to want to accept them or want them around. Internal Projection maybe

You say you want your life bk. We're you different pre dc?

I was bullied at school, had alcoholic father in my home life and had a toxic dv relationship in my teens. I don't know if this has affected how I think about things or whether I am just sub par like I suspect. Because I ashamedly have judged people in the past, we are only human and we form opinions I just hate the thought of people doing the same to me and my kids.

I also worry about everything relating to the kids, it's like I jump from one catastrophe to another but with illness, accidents etc its hard not to worry constantly sometimes. I love them so much and just want to protect them as much as I can.

Thanks for sharing, no real advice but at least we know we're not alone

You should see your GP and tell them exactly what you just said here. I think some talking therapy would be really beneficial for you. Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), for example, is all about changing the way you think about things. (I'm not suggesting that's what you need specifically but my point is it's not uncommon to feel this way and you don't have to just put up with it, there are things that can help.) Good luck!

I agre with the PP, talkto your GP if it's taking over your day. I say that as someone who has been there 💐

There's nothing wrong with you. You just feel anxious and overly so for some reason, bless you. I would urge looking into it, as a PP said, maybe go to your GP, if it is affecting you to the point of taking your kids out. I think you are seeing and imagining things rather than people going out of their way to laugh at you.

I can very much relate to what you’re saying OP, but for me I feel ok about it at the time and then go home and dissect every.little.thing and turn it into insane things that never even happened. Overthinking things massively. It’s so unbelievably time consuming and mentally exhausting. I will say that I’m able to “shake it off” currently and it doesn’t sound like that’s the case for you - so therefore you should speak to a GP. Good luck, you can get this under control. ♥️

It depends very much on the child and the schools concerned. Can you speak with other parents who have tried both? What discussion have you had with ALL the potential teachers?
Personally I think special schools, with the right leadership and staff, can work wonders. DS2 also autistic, started at rising 5 in an MLD school (outstanding Ofsted reports every year) and now has a Masters degree and lives independently.
His primary teachers were all extremely well qualified, super committed and willing to work closely with us as parents and really went the extra mile to help him on. Can't sing their praises highly enough.

Sorry wrong thread. M N please remove

How old are you op?. I ask because I have found myself anxious lately in situations I wouldn't generally be. I think it's a peri menopause thing. Might be worth talking to your Doctor. I've started a new routine of natural supplements & it's helping a little.

I am 28 x

Thank you all for the kind replies. I will make an appointment to speak to my GP

Oh probably not peri then!. Still worth seeing the Doc. Best of luck

I can recommend reading The Confidence Gap by Russ Harris - very readable and practical. The model he uses (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) is fantastic for unhooking from anxious thoughts - it's a behavioural model (like CBT), but about learning how to accept difficult thoughts and feelings (rather than trying to change them). We all have paranoid thoughts (like your experience on the platform), but it's to what extent we believe or hook into the thoughts or get fused with the feelings. If it helps, we usually have our most anxious thoughts about the things that really matter to us - in your case, your family. You are normal and human, and you can learn ways of managing your anxiety, I promise. Xx

Thank you! I don’t have anyone close but I am going to call the doctors as I’ve had enough x

You will probably learn to stop caring as you get older. I'm amazed now about what I used to worry about (blushing was a massive one for me) that I now totally don't care about and hence, it's not an issue anymore. I don't mean to sound patronising but learning to not care what random people thought of me changed my life for the better so much, but it took me getting to 40 to realise it.

You’re in a permanent state of fight/flight.

It comes from one of the oldest parts of the human brain - amygdala - which helped us loads when when we were cave dwellers who needed to escape sabre tooth tigers etc, and still helps us now whenever we need to do something scary or escape a threat.

Your amygdala is set on way too high alert. Imagine a smoke alarm in your kitchen that is so sensitive that it sets off even from the steam from boiling the kettle, that’s what your amygdala is doing now. It’s reacting as if you are in real danger when in reality there is none.

Flight - you describe wanting to escape situations. Also there is the Fight response (are you overly irritable with a short fuse? That’ll be Fight), and a lesser known one: Fawn. You are overly nice to people so that they are more likely to like you and therefore are less of a threat to you - does that resonate too? All of these involve adrenaline which then leaves you drained and exhausted.

The good thing is that you CAN reset the sensitivity levels of the smoke alarm in your brain - you’re doing the right thing talking to the GP. Mention that it’s generalised anxiety and take up any support you are offered.

in the meantime, whenever you start feeling that anxiety rise, tell your amygdala to PIPE DOWN THERE IS NO REAL THREAT! Tell yourself “I am not in any danger”… repeat, breathe, until that adrenaline fades. Be kind to yourself and that pesky prehistoric smoke alarm in your brain xx

Anxiety and paranoia. I have exactly this. Look up paranoia on mind websire, it’s not what you think. These sound like delusional thoughts. Mine gets worse after stress or loneliness.

You need to see your GP. Anxiety is a real condition and if it isn’t treated it tends to get worse.

Yes! This made so much sense and sounds exactly like how I feel. Thank you for this xx

Don't worry, this kind of thing is common especially if you have a lot of stress in your life, this is how it may be coming out. However, it can be a sign of a MH problem that is treatable, such as social anxiety, Generalised Anxiety, or even OCD (to name a few, I'm not diagnosing you on the internet).

Forget the GP, that'll just delay things and they'll send you to the same place anyway. Self-refer yourself to IAPT, type in your local authority (not NHS trust as MH is usually a different MH trust and can cover a different geographical area) and you should be able to find a self-referral form to fill in. (If not in England & Wales, follow local processes to getting an initial MH assessment.)

I had a baby 8 months ago and I’m wondering if that has anything to do with that

Before I had children I never worried about anything and I now I can’t stop worrying.
i was very shy as a child and didn’t make friends very easily. I would blush if someone spoke to me, but I’m not as shy anymore. Now I’m just always paranoid and anxious.

my mum was very strict with me when I was a child. She had very bad depression and would tell me she wished she was dead and how I’m so useless. She would shout in my face until I cried and then apologise later so I think this has messed me up.

I don’t know why I think people are judging my children. There is absolutely no reason to.
they are both so precious to me. It’s not fair on them that I am like this.

thank you for replying to me xx

Well it’s quite obvious what you should do, seek help from your GP and or look into private therapeutic offerings in your area

@Chuckle94 thanks for replying it's strange how these things can manifest. I was totally care free and relaxed before kids too.

I personally haven't sought professional help but I do know that they will expedite you for talking therapy etc if you self refer after a baby. You will be high priority.

I found the book mind over mother very useful and it helped me a lot and it helped me give myself some grace too.

CBT is really helpful at stopping the paranoia. I used to feel like that. But after doing lots of CBT I found it quite easy to say to myself: that group pf people are laughing because they are happy/someone said something funny. They were looking at something behind or beside me or happened to be glancing in my direction just as the punchline of the joke occurred.

Several friends of mine swear by Sertraline for curing their anxiety.