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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to find this comment rude?

24 replies

kiarahh · 26/11/2022 20:25

is it me or was this passing comment a little rude?

DP bought me a pair of adidas superstars for my birthday, and MIL made a passing comment along the lines of "aren't those the trainers your cousin likes and has been asking you to get her for ages and you didn't get them for her?" i mean, it's really not my concern what he buys his cousin and doesn't, but the comment sounded a little off? no?

she then proceeded a while later to ask for the same trainers for christmas🤣

OP posts:
sheepdogdelight · 26/11/2022 20:28

Can't see what's rude about that. They are commonly liked trainers.

Keyansier · 26/11/2022 20:29

i mean, it's really not my concern what he buys his cousin and doesn't, but the comment sounded a little off? no?

No, not in the slightest. It sounds like you want to deliberately find fault with completely innocent comments.

Summerishere123 · 26/11/2022 20:29

Not rude but strange that an adult cousin would ask another for trainers.

Thedogseyesareintense · 26/11/2022 20:30

I wouldn’t think that rude if I’m honest

thistimelastweek · 26/11/2022 20:31

I don't have many cousins but they've never asked me for trainers.
Thinking about it, they've never asked me for anything.

MichelleScarn · 26/11/2022 20:32

It sounds rude to me! As in a 'why have you bought them for @kiarahh and not your cousin?'...

kiarahh · 26/11/2022 20:33

Keyansier · 26/11/2022 20:29

i mean, it's really not my concern what he buys his cousin and doesn't, but the comment sounded a little off? no?

No, not in the slightest. It sounds like you want to deliberately find fault with completely innocent comments.

maybe not so much rude, was just a weird comment, but perhaps i'm thinking too much into it, just came off as like "you didn't buy them for her, but you bought them for your partner" but maybe wasn't nothing, not trying to create issues! just genuinely asking 😅

OP posts:
TheYearOfSmallThings · 26/11/2022 20:33

Not rude. Odd, but not rude.

chikp · 26/11/2022 20:33

but the comment sounded a little off? no?

no but I guess it depends on if there is a habit of expecting DH to spend lots on his cousin.

Firen · 26/11/2022 20:34

Think the cousin sounds ruder. Was it their birthday or Christmas present? Why would you ask a cousin to buy you a pair of trainers?

donttellmehesalive · 26/11/2022 20:34

I don't see anything wrong with the comment at all. I also don't see anything wrong with her asking for the same trainers if she likes them. I don't understand why you are crying laughing.

Sceptre86 · 26/11/2022 20:35

I'm the same as @MichelleScarn. It's as if he's bought them for you he should have for his cousin. He should have spoken up.

HikingforScenery · 26/11/2022 20:36

For all we know, your DP is in the habit of buying stuff for his cousin. Nothing rude about her asking a question.

kiarahh · 26/11/2022 20:41

Firen · 26/11/2022 20:34

Think the cousin sounds ruder. Was it their birthday or Christmas present? Why would you ask a cousin to buy you a pair of trainers?

there's a tendency of her sending messages in a groupchat saying "i need this" or that, as if to say, who can buy me this? but i'm not fussed about it, it's not my problem. it was just the comment was odd to me because she mentioned once she liked and wanted a pair of those trainers and the comment seemed to come across like "why have you bought them but not for your cousin when she's asked"

OP posts:
Mostmarriedcouple · 26/11/2022 20:55

Yeah it’s a weird comment for MIL to make. What was her point? A cousin is not equal to a wife. She’s probably thinking “blood family” first which is why she was miffed he didn’t buy it for cousin and not you. Same with the comment that she wants some too

SparklyMistleToes · 26/11/2022 21:01

No, not rude. But I have never bought my cousin a present so personally I just think that's a bit weird

Duchess379 · 26/11/2022 22:03

It's odd. Why should he buy his cousin trainers?! Where's her parents?!
I'm #TeamAdidas all day though, I have black & gold superstars & think they're the best thing since sliced bread. And I'm in my mid 40s! 👍🏻

TeaAndTattoos · 26/11/2022 22:11

Not rude but definitely an odd thing to say it definitely comes across as why have you bought them for @kiarahh and not your cousin like you should have.

longestlurkerever · 26/11/2022 22:29

I think there's some lost in translation stuff going on here. Dcousin is presumably dating "I need this" in a light-hearted way, not expecting people to actually buy it for her! And milquoting her similarly? As in saying "are those the same trainers dcousin wanted?" . If there's disapproval there maybe it's that you're collectively rubbing dcousin's nose in the fact you can afford the stuff she wants but I wouldn't read it automatically that way and certainly not that your dh should have bought them for his cousin

amiold · 26/11/2022 22:35

Keyansier · 26/11/2022 20:29

i mean, it's really not my concern what he buys his cousin and doesn't, but the comment sounded a little off? no?

No, not in the slightest. It sounds like you want to deliberately find fault with completely innocent comments.

🥱

amiold · 26/11/2022 22:36

She was just wanting to make a point he hadn't bought them for the cousin .. I'd ignore.

Why is he buying his female cousin trainers? How old is she ?

donttellmehesalive · 27/11/2022 07:35

Did you ask your dp why his mum said that?

I wondered if he told his cousin he was buying some for you and she'd joked that he could buy her some too.

notdaddycool · 27/11/2022 07:38

Who buys their cousin anything substantial as a gift?

thehorsehasnowbolted · 27/11/2022 08:34

Why is he buying his female cousin trainers? How old is she ?

This. Are you sure there's nothing going on between him and the cousin?

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