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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this needs A&E

62 replies

paniclife · 26/11/2022 18:37

My dad is 60 - he has mental health issues and can be quite head strong.

This evening he phoned me and said yesterday that the doctors surgery phoned him and said he needed to go to the surgery immediately, he refused and they insisted, still he refused. So they told him he has alarmingly high potassium levels and they needed to do another blood test to check they were correct. He said he would book an appointment next week.

I asked him why he never phoned me yesterday and I'd have taken him down, he said because he feels fine!!

However, I was with him Thursday and he complained about having diarrhoea for the past three weeks, numbness in his hands and arms and he complained and I witnessed him getting shortness of breath when walking a short distance (not usual for him).

I said I think I should take him to a and e but once again refused and is saying he will book an appointment on Monday! I don't believe him and am now very worried.

Should I make him go to a and e? Is this imminently life threatening? I'm thinking not if he's had diarrhoea for last three weeks meaning he's had high potassium at least since then.

Im just really worried and not sure what to do. Any advice in this?

OP posts:
QuestionableMouse · 26/11/2022 18:40

It can be an emergency. He does need to be checked. Ring 111 in front of him and see what they advise?

In a similar situation with my mum last year, I threw an absolute whopper of a strop and told her she either came with me to hospital or I was ringing an ambulance.

Good luck!

DuchessDandelion · 26/11/2022 18:43

Yes, a&e.

Original poster
paniclife · 26/11/2022 18:44

He's completely refusing. I don't think he'd answer the door, so upset by this.

OP posts:
Mybestyear · 26/11/2022 18:47

Hyperkalaemia is a medical emergency. Treatment with a calcium resonium enema is one of the few things pharmacists are on call for. High potassium can cause fatal arrhythmias.

60 is young. I appreciate he’s got mental health issues but unless he wants to die, he needs to go to hospital. Good luck.

Moraxella · 26/11/2022 18:48

High potassium can be life threatening; it can cause (fatal) arrhythmias

ELOU1111 · 26/11/2022 18:48

If it was my dad I would take him to A and E and explain that he was called for repeat bloods and didn't attend. Important as he is exhibiting cardiac symptoms. They will understand and definitely not consider him a time waster. They will repeat his bloods today (I'm a staff nurse). Good luck x

WeeOrcadian · 26/11/2022 18:51

You can try, but he's a grown man and you can't force him. Good luck 🤞🏼

Original poster
paniclife · 26/11/2022 18:53

Yeah I'm texting him but he keeps replying no and won't answer his phone. Not much I can do to be honest. So frustrating. So could he be okay though if he doesn't get treatment? It doesn't mean he's definitely going to die does it?

OP posts:
XenoBitch · 26/11/2022 18:53

Sadly, you can't make him. You can talk about the link between his symptoms and needing the test, but ultimately it is him that has to make the step of getting it done.

DuchessDandelion · 26/11/2022 18:53

Send an ambulance to him?

MrsMorton · 26/11/2022 19:02

Hugs OP. Poorly dads with stubborn approaches to healthcare are just Si utterly frustrating and worrying.

Original poster
paniclife · 26/11/2022 19:10

Thanks

OP posts:
NotAnotherCrisis · 26/11/2022 19:24

How severe are his mental health issues? Is it possible that he doesn't have the capacity to make the decision not to be treated or does he have the mental capacity to make an unwise decision like this?

Original poster
paniclife · 26/11/2022 19:26

NotAnotherCrisis · 26/11/2022 19:24

How severe are his mental health issues? Is it possible that he doesn't have the capacity to make the decision not to be treated or does he have the mental capacity to make an unwise decision like this?

He does have capacity yes (I'm a social worker so deal with this a lot)

OP posts:
NotAnotherCrisis · 26/11/2022 19:28

paniclife · 26/11/2022 19:26

He does have capacity yes (I'm a social worker so deal with this a lot)

Show quote history

I really feel for you, not sure what you can do :(

HappyHamsters · 26/11/2022 19:30

You cant force him if he has capacity but I would call 111 and explain the situation, they may be able to contact his surgery or look up his results to see how high his potassium is.

Original poster
paniclife · 26/11/2022 20:28

Can anyone tell me though if he could be okay till Monday? Worried he drops down but that doesn't necessarily happen does it?

OP posts:
BirmaBrite · 26/11/2022 20:42

So could he be okay though if he doesn't get treatment? It doesn't mean he's definitely going to die does it?

Nobody on here can give you those answers unfortunately.

Do you know why he is having his bloods done ? It is worrying that he is exhibiting several of the symptoms of high potassium and given his recent three weeks of diarrhea, his kidneys are probably not very happy either.

You mention mental health problems, is your Dad a drinker @paniclife

Sheepl · 26/11/2022 20:47

Diarrhoea would normally give you a low potassium level. Call 111 see if they can clarify the situation and or give you an appt to get bloods taken

CrochetIsCool · 26/11/2022 20:49

I was contacted in the early hours by an emergency doctor who was outside my late mum's house and couldn't gain entry. She had been sent out as an emergency due to high potassium levels found in a blood test. My mum was admitted to hospital until her levels could be stabilised. I don't think this can wait until Monday.

RosesAndHellebores · 26/11/2022 20:50

Can you go and stay with him over the W/E and be on hand to call an ambulance if he deteriorates?

What are his MH problems? In the kindest possible way op, as a 62 year old, if I were recalled by the Dr because of a worrying blood test, I would not tell my children until the matter were resolved.

Does your dh have a history of "mind games"? Is your mum around. My apologies for asking if she has passed.

I don't think there's much you can do if he has capacity. FWIW a colleagues mum was called back for high potassium. She's 86 and had decided to up her 5 a day, liked bananas so started eating three a day. They are v high in potassium.

nocoolnamesleft · 26/11/2022 20:52

High potassium levels can cause sudden cardiac arrest. Really hope this is a sample problem, as if accurate this is a medical emergency.

SharkNoveau · 26/11/2022 20:56

Hugh potassium levels can be fatal however in most cases the bloods show high because they’ve been left standing around too long before being analysed - which would be why the GP will want another test.

can also be caused by a test being done badly (ie bruising etc).

that said, the only way to find out is out of hours or a and e - would he go to minor injuries or walk in?

PeekabooAtTheZoo · 26/11/2022 20:59

Actually there is provision in the Mental Health act for the potential for suicide by refusing treatment as a possible reason someone might lack capacity at that time. Paramedics can decide if they need to get him to hospital for assessment by the duty psychiatrist.

I'd ring an ambulance, tell the operator about his MH difficulties and what symptoms he has, and let them have that conversation. If they can't/won't get him in, at least you will know you tried.

Original poster
paniclife · 26/11/2022 21:07

BirmaBrite · 26/11/2022 20:42

So could he be okay though if he doesn't get treatment? It doesn't mean he's definitely going to die does it?

Nobody on here can give you those answers unfortunately.

Do you know why he is having his bloods done ? It is worrying that he is exhibiting several of the symptoms of high potassium and given his recent three weeks of diarrhea, his kidneys are probably not very happy either.

You mention mental health problems, is your Dad a drinker @paniclife

He gets bloods done quite regularly due to certain medications he is on for his mental health issues - he has bipolar and is on a lot of medication. My dad doesn't drink but he has been addicted and abusing to prescription painkillers for the past 30 years.

OP posts: