To have stayed at home with my DS?

[PurpleBananas22]

DH and I had long planned night out in the city, meeting friends for a big birthday dinner (not either of ours). Babysitter had been booked for weeks, everyone looking forward to a nice fancy night out. Big group of about 20 people so no one relying on me to make up numbers or anything.

My DS (age 5) has been under the weather all week but has been going to school. Sore throat and a bit quiet but has managed to get through school and after school activities ok. Lots of bugs at school and several children off this week.

Yesterday he was very pale after school and even with calpol didn't rally. Babysitter arrived at 7pm and just as we were leaving he had a big coughing fit, was sick (due to coughing) and got upset that we were going out.

I said I'd stay home and DH went out. I paid the babysitter for her time (the whole evening as planned), had a cudddle with DS and put him to bed. He slept all night but is still feeling unwell today.

I'm sure I made the right decision to stay home but in hindsight maybe I should have gone. It was a good night by all accounts and I'm sad to have missed it!

Would you have gone out? We would have been an hour away (catching the train into town) and I was worried he might deteriorate quickly, as kids can do. I was ok to leave him with a sore throat but dosed up with calpol, it's the unexpected chesty cough and sickness I didn't want to risk.

I'd have left him with a cough, if the babysitter was happy. He wasn't being sick because of a stomach upset. And as it turns out he slept all night with no ill effects. But that's just me. Your husband had a great time without you - so his evening wasn't affected- and you clearly wouldn't have enjoyed being there so you made the right decision for you.

I think you made the right decision. You would potentially have put the babysitter in the awkward position of having to decide whether to call you home or not - particularly difficult if you're some way away. Not to mention the risk of him giving it to the babysitter. Do you know it wasn't covid?

You made the right decision. If a kid doesn’t rally even after calpol, it’s not really fair for either them or the babysitter to leave them with a babysitter, and it sounds like he is actually unwell not just a bit of a cough.

No I wouldn't have gone. Better to have been on the safe side, he could have got more poorly in the night.

I wouldn’t have gone. 5 is still very little.

For me this would have depended on the babysitter, someone older with their own kids and happy with the cough I would have gone.

Or a childminder doing extra hours etc, I'd go.

A parent or relative, I'd go.

A younger say 16-18 year old without much childcare experience I would have stayed.

Up to you and whatever you felt comfortable with at the time

I wouldn't have gone due to the fact you said he was upset.

I’d have stayed home. I’ve got a 5yo and there’s no way I could have left him sick and upset

Yeah I'd have stayed home too and I'm not very precious with coughs and colds.

Hopefully you get a night out again soon

I agree that it depends on who the babysitter was. If it was MiL, I would have gone. If it was a teenager from next door, then no.

Depends who babysitter was. If it was grandparents I would have gone

This.

I think it depends on whether your son knows the babysitter well. You wouldn't want him to be sick again and have someone with him that he doesn't know well. When you're sick you went your mum or someone close.

I’d have gone.

I agree with this - had the babysitter been my mum/pil I'd have gone (assuming they were happy), but I'd probably have stayed home if it was someone I didn't know well/local teenager.

I'm Glad I'm not entirely alone in the decision! Babysitter was older and experienced so I wasn't worried about that, more the fact I was going to be at least an hour away and he had the potential to go downhill as he didn't seem to rally with calpol.

My kids are used to being left with people, dropped off at clubs and activities, and I do pack them off to outdoor clubs in cold weather etc so I'm definitely not usually hesitant to leave them. Actually this is probably my the first time I HAVEN'T left him. Which is probably why I guess I'm wondering what other peoples limits are.

He could have got that upset after you left that he vomited until he was dehydrated/ throat was really sore. I'm my DD'S childcare and have taken over when my GC have been in hospital (so she could get clean clothes etc). Even so, she's cancelled a night out under your circumstances.