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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

The joys of people who love to comment "ohh, you just wait until you get to this stage..." and worry you for no reason!

30 replies

IcingOnTheCake · 31/01/2008 12:43

When i was pregnant with my dd at the beginning everyone would saying how my life was going to change, that it would never be the same again etc.

Then as i got bigger people would say "ohh, you wait in a few months you will be twice the size!"

Then when i was twice the size they would say "make the most of it while you can because as soon as the baby comes you will be rushed off your feet."

When dd was born, i wasn't rushed off my feet because all she did was lay there, eat, sleep and cry. People would say "you wait until she's bigger, then you'll know it."

As she got bigger people said "make the most of it while she's this age, at least you know where she is."

Now she is walking around people say "you wait until she is talking, make the most of the piece and quiet."

Ok so is it me or does it not matter what stage your at, people like to tell you how scary the next stage is? Then when you get the 'scary' stage and it's not as bad as they told you it would be they put a dampner on it by trying to tell how horrible/hard work the stage after that is going to be?

Kids are all different and just because one is a little horror at a certain stage that doesn't mean they all are. My dd is good with her eating where as my friend's dd is a nightmare at mealtimes. Another friend'd dd will sit and look at books with her mum where as mine just throws them. They are all different.

So if your one of the people who like to comment "ohh, you just wait until..." or "make the most of..." then please stop it because it very annoying and quite often you worry people for no reason!

OP posts:
DuckInATruck · 31/01/2008 12:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IcingOnTheCake · 31/01/2008 12:46

Me too! I loved her when she was a baby but i love it more now she is doing stuff and i can play with her because she understands more!

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IAteRoseMaryConleyForBreakfast · 31/01/2008 12:46

I met a couple the other day who cheerfully informed me that "the first 30 years are the worst".

NineUnlikelyTales · 31/01/2008 12:47

Couldn't agree more. It's not just children though is it? My family have always been full of "Oh you're naturally slim at this age and can eat what you like but wait until you get to X age, then you'll be obese and unable to see your own feet". Repeated at regular intervals despite their prophecies never coming true. I get the impression that a lot of people just want you to feel bad and worry that whatever you have in life that is good can't possibly last.

IcingOnTheCake · 31/01/2008 12:56

lol NineUnlikelyTales!

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Habbibu · 31/01/2008 12:58

Every stage is just great - they all bring new rewards and challenges. I guess you just have to nod and smile, while restraining the urge to punch people on the nose...

IcingOnTheCake · 31/01/2008 13:04

People used to comment in lifts the most. I never had awkward silences, i had silly comments! Oh how i longed for the awkward silences...!

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Kathyis6incheshigh · 31/01/2008 13:04

Ooh, Icing, I know, I hate that!
Mine are toddlers atm and when I moan people go 'Oh, wait till they're teenagers!' I mean, I know teenagers can be tough but at least I will get a decent night's sleep and not have to change their nappies.

IcingOnTheCake · 31/01/2008 13:06

You may have to pick up questionable items of clothing and underwear off their bedroom floor though when they are teenagers Kathyis6incheshigh!

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fortyplus · 31/01/2008 13:07

I have a friend (let's call her Julie) who has done this (in very superior tone) from the word go. She has 3 children - a girl and 2 boys who have always been... errrr... let's say 'demanding'.

She has always said 'just wait till yours yet to 2... 4... 6... 8... 10... teenage...'

Well ACTUALLY Julie my two are 12 and 14 now and they've never done any of the things that your little shits have!

I must be such a perfect parent

Kathyis6incheshigh · 31/01/2008 13:09

That's true Icing. But hopefully not 5 times a day

IcingOnTheCake · 31/01/2008 13:12

I have never in my life said to anyone "you just until..."

Then again i am perfect. Even more perfect then fortyplus!

OP posts:
IcingOnTheCake · 31/01/2008 13:12

you just wait until

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hedgehog1979 · 31/01/2008 13:13

Why do they feel they can do it while you are expecting. I am 20+2 with pfb and have suffered from Morning Sickness from about 6 weeks - I have had from everyone 'oh it will stop at 12/14/16/18/20 weeks'
This is despite me telling the same people that I am not expecting it to stop as my mum was sick for her entire pregnancies and there are 4 of us
My MIL is the expert (DH is an only child)

'ohhh if your morning sickness is still happening now you should see the gp as it isn't normal and is probably harming the baby' WTF

But now you are saying that I am going to get this for the next 30 years AHHHHHHHH

cherryredretrochick · 31/01/2008 13:28

Hedgehog, you just wait until it's born, crawling, walking, talking, going to school, getting drunk, leaving home etc then it may have it's own kids and it will start all over again.

hedgehog1979 · 31/01/2008 13:30

I think I need to develop a thicker skin cherry

cherryredretrochick · 31/01/2008 13:33

Every stage has up and downs, I think it depends which way you see it. Enjoy your babies and ignore the world in general IMO.

Vacua · 31/01/2008 13:41

I often think it when parents of primary school aged children have such unrealistic ideas of how their currently quite pliable offspring will behave during adolescence, or better yet, think they already have a teenager on their hands.

Not that the teenage years are a total nightmare, in many ways they have been the best stage yet, but there were LOTS of mental and emotional adjustments to be made on my part - and continual revisions of my expectations. On the plus side they can help muck the house out, babysit and so on.

JackBlackRoady · 31/01/2008 13:41

hedgehog - i am the same - still MS at 26 weeks - and ppl saying 'have you tried ginger biscuits?'
my son is 13 in two weeks and the number of ppl who roll their eyes, such air between their teeth and take a breath ready to tell me what a nightmare he is going to be - FFS! - I like your retort fortyplus - i am tempted to say 'well maybe he won't be the devil spawn like your child was!'

potoftea · 31/01/2008 14:07

I find older relatives do this about everything in life.
"Wait until you're my age, then you'll understand", drives me mental.
Just because they are older doesn't mean I can't know stuff they don't.
There's no answer to it too, because by the time I am their age and still disagree with them or whatever, they'll be dead!

scampadoodle · 31/01/2008 14:43

Vacua - I have 2 aged 6 & 3 & no way are they pliable!

It annoys me when parents of teenagers tell me how much it is for them. No it isn't, it's different. It depends what's important to you. I like having a decent night's sleep & it'll be lovely just to be able to 'pop out' to the shop for milk or whatever, without having to drag the whole circus with me...

scampadoodle · 31/01/2008 14:43

How much worse it is for them

Vacua · 31/01/2008 15:01

well you're not a parent of pliable children then are you?

anyway I don't say it, I just think it sometimes

Mungarra · 31/01/2008 15:01

Absolutely agree with you.

I once said to someone saying how dreadful kids can be - 'I don't know about your children, but my children are lovely.'

minouminou · 31/01/2008 16:18

just say, in a leaden tone "I actually enjoy life".
works for me