Do you know a lot of ”lifestyle” single women? Where did you find them, how to be friends with women like that?

[YouAreNotBatman]

I was just thinking how boring it is when people get into relationships / have kids and they pretty much disappear and you’re alone.

But recent years there has been news how now apperently so many women choose to remain single, thus suprised me because other than myself I don’t know anyone like this.

And I was thinking how cool it would be to have group of like-minded friends. Maybe to support eachother as well.

Am I crazy?
Where to find these women?

Do I count? I have a kid but she’s 12 and spends half her time with her dad. I’m divorced, single and I earn enough to do fun stuff. I too would like some single or less partnered up lady friends who’d like dinners or holidays. No idea where to find them.

I've found that in the UK the new WI is a fab place to meet other women. You can tell the modern ones because they usually have a name like town plus nice thing
E.g. the Baildon Belles.

You can go 3 times as a non member to see if its for you.
The bbs above have lots of groups book, gardening, netball, running etc so once you are a member you can explore these.

In ireland there is a griwing movrment of women's sheds totally recomend!

Try meetup.com. If you can’t find what you’re looking for you can create your own group

What age are you OP? Most single/childless women I know got very frustrated by me when I had kids and I was a hopeless friend - unable to go on holidays, have many nights out, not able to casual, last minute “drop ins” etc. I wasn’t there for them and they got annoyed with me.

Now my kids are much older, I’m rediscovering these women. They’re great friends to have: time for socialising, have more stories to tell as a result and tend to have great hobbies.

I met mine through uni or professionally which is statistically in line with the norm: the more educated you are, the more likely you are to be single and/or childless.

I meet other women (or men) like me through the gym. This morning I went to a 9am gym class then 3 of us had coffee, and after 2 of us walked to Borough Market for another coffee there. All unplanned. Because we can. 😛

Hi!

I’m 36.

The thing is that ”at my age” although I’ve always been more quiet person / lifestyle, I’d like more hobby or nature or pets related friends.

Night outs were never my thing, so the ”cool kids” never liked me 🤣in the first place!

Ah op you sound like me! We can be quiet, uncool friends together 😂

Seriously though I do get it and genuinely did have to go searching for like minded women. As I mentioned meetup is great especially if you’re in a big town or city.

I know one who is doing academic research into this very subject. In fact several of my closest friends are lifestyle singles, as in, they actively chose not to marry or have children. They are notably vibrant, fun women with a bit of mischievous wit to them - maybe because the Groundhog Day of raising kids hasn't ground it out of them. I found most of my single friends through work but a few are from primary school - my best friends at primary, uni and work are all still single. I'm the only one who married. Bit odd now I think about it. I must have been attracted to very independent girls as friends.

We can be quiet, uncool friends together 😂

Oh, @TallAndSpiky I’ve been looking for a friend like you!

I'm late 30s and have made a bunch of these kinds of female friends in the last five years. All through walking my dog! So they're all fellow pet lovers, dog owners, and nature lovers. Most of them are single, and the ones that aren't are very independent and have full social lives away from their husbands. None of them have kids. I guess living in a city makes it easier to meet child-free people also.

Some of them I met just randomly when passing, and others I met because I went to a city park around the same time each day, so got to see familiar faces and we eventually got chatting.

You can also look at meet-up groups and volunteering. :)

Bumble has a friends section.

Have you searched ' woman's groups ' in your local area? We have one that's not WI but a more informal tone. It's great. We have special guest speakers on various topics , some months it's a just a get together. And obvs, people go onto form friendships outside of the group

My book group is all women who don’t have children, although a mix of single/married. The MeetUp suggestion is a good one!

I find that women's groups tend to be mainly married women. Single women would usually not be looking for social opportunities only limited to their own sex.

I've had some luck with Bumble BFF. Haven't tried meet up yet.

Does anyone here go to WI.. I imagine lots of old ladies making jam, am I being massively judgemental here?

I'm not single but child free, 35 and looking for more female friends.. it's hard work because most people are trying for a baby or have young kids and therefore aren't prioritising new friendships.

I’m single, Ive never heard of the expression ‘lifestyle single’

what does that mean?

In my extended family, there's a cousin who is as close as a sister, my real sister, (both 70ish) and my neice (now 50) . Plus the daughter (40) of another cousin ( All single, heterosexual, never married or had a live-in relationship.

There were a number of childless working women in my parents social circle (post war) who stayed single all their lives . No explanation was never mentioned.

Oh, yeah, it was a bit silly word.
I just meant it as in women who are happy to be single, not looking to date or relationships.
Since I’ve seen some news articles that women choose to stay single these days.
And I only know myself who’s not dating.
So don’t have to worry so much about talking about men and at some point loosing them when they get into relationship. And having like-minded friends.

And also big thank you for the suggestions to other’s who have commented!!

"There were a number of childless working women in my parents social circle (post war) who stayed single all their lives . No explanation was never mentioned."

Divorce was rare so for that generation, if you didn't get married when you were young you probably missed the boat, unless there was a widower available.
Some of them may have had married lovers.

"I just meant it as in women who are happy to be single, not looking to date or relationships."

I've only "met" such women on MN. In real life, every single person I've met would like to meet someone in an ideal world. Doesn't mean everyone is online dating as people often have problems, but they all would like to fall in love with someone who loves them.

@Gwenhwyfar

I can assure you that such women do exist

I have had relationships, I have been single for a long time and have no intention of changing that. I am happy with my life , I do not have ‘problems’

I have lots of friends, most of whom are married. I look at some of them weighted down by men who add little to their lives, or who have had to make huge compromises. I’m not prepared to do that, I’m not looking for a man to make my life better, more fufilled, provide for me or to do my DIY. I can do all that for myself - or pay people to do the stuff I can’t.

In an ideal world I’d like people to accept that its possible for people to have different priorities or views about the world, that we don’t all want or need to live our lives in a certain way just because its seen as the ‘norm’

@YouAreNotBatman
its fine, it really is, not to be interested in dating, you don’t have to jusify it to anyone.
You mentioned you would like more hobby related friends -if thats the case then I would forget about trying to find single women. Just pursue your interests, meet people and make friends - does it really matter if they are single or not?

@2bazookas

but why should there have to be an explanation?

Although I can think of several women of my mum’s generation (she is 79) who I now think were probably lesbians. I grew up in a very working class part of a big city where being gay would not have been easy to say the least. So they just stayed single.

"I can assure you that such women do exist"

Maybe so, just that I've never met them. That's all I was saying. In my 40 something years of living and working in different places, I've never met one. That's all.