Ungrateful...

[Pepper34]

OH has form for leaving gift buying until the last minute and then flaps about not knowing what to get.

I used my initiative and bought 2 things for DSD for Christmas, not intended to be her only gifts of course but something to get him started.

I told him she has a couple of presents waiting to be collected from argos when he has time to go, "oh" he says "what are they?"

I tell him.

"Ok" he says.

No thank you or iota of gratitude from him.

AIBU to think that's really shit?

It depends on what the gifts were Really.

Slime sets, one of the things she specifically asked for.

Yep ungrateful!

No good deed and all that. If he’s not grateful stop doing him favours. I’m sure if you, the stepmother, can figure out in some way (presumably by the power of speech) what the child wants, then he is also capable.

How do you tolerate him ‘flapping about not knowing what to get?’ Doesn’t that helpless baby act piss you off? The way I think of it is like this - if a man can work a job for an employer, then he has all the skills necessary to clean a kitchen or buy Christmas gifts. If he has a job but ‘can’t’ do these things, it’s because he’s learned that flapping about like a big toddler gets him out of boring and unpleasant tasks.

Yes it's unreasonable of him, don't bother again.

Pfft, I wouldn’t even start him off.
Get her nice things from you of course…but if he cba to put in any effort, he can explain it to her. He’s her dad, it’s his bloody job.

Did he ask you to buy them? Maybe he misunderstood,and genuinely thinks you bought Christmas presents for your dsd,and you want him to collect them for you. Maybe he doesn't realise that you've bought them on his behalf, because you think he's incapable.maybe just explain it to him.

It is November. I know someone who does all their Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve. Let him leave it to the last minute and let him flap. That is the way he wants to do it.

Why not tell your DH he is ungrateful, rather than Mumsnet?