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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find this a bit strange

5 replies

KatyClair · 26/11/2022 05:04

I started a new job recently.. working as a PA for a GP. I’ve done this role before in different settings and have always had a professional relationship with the GP/dentist (dentists are who I usually work for).
I’ve always given the GP my number in case they need to contact me and can’t at work/ I do occasionally WFH as I’m out in the sticks and recent awful weather has caused flooding etc so it’s easier to stay put!

The GP in question started messaging innocently about work things but the texts were a lot .. he is a chatty friendly person anyway and has been known for having patients in his room for over the allotted time chatting. The cleaners have complained as they have to stay later than usual whilst he locks up! He is married with kids as am I and we have 2 children of the same age and one goes to the same school so we have that in common. Lately the texting is too much, it’s not usually work related and he will text whilst in between patients saying he’s bored! He texts basically all day! He also texts at the weekend or rings just for a chat! I reply and am friendly because I feel guilty but do try and shut conversations down. He is quite complimentary, not in a pervy way but notices things and doesn’t forget anything I’ve said etc. He is considerably older than me and at no point have I alluded to the fact I am interested in anything more than a working relationship.

I don’t know how to deal with this as it’s becoming too much and I feel uncomfortable. I don’t have contact with anyone else in my life like this! My husband also says it’s odd! I dread the next message even when it’s innocent about the kids or his dog!

AIBU? Have I encouraged this and also what would you do?!

OP posts:
purplethings · 26/11/2022 05:12

Trcky as it's your job. Here's clearly overstepping boundaries whatever his intentions are. You could lie. Can you tel him that you are very occupied supporting a sibling/ parent with a personal issue of theirs and that you don't have time or headspace for any extra texts or x calls at the moment, then just ignore his msgs.

magicscares · 26/11/2022 05:22

I think you need to look for a new job… sorry op but he clearly sees you as more than a colleague. Staying there is only going to be awkward as you’ll either need to tell him to cool off or he’ll take it a step further.
doesn’t sound like you’re doing anything wrong 💐

autienotnaughty · 26/11/2022 06:45

He's overstepping boundaries whether it's friendly or something more. I'd say in person that your finding it hard to answer all the texts as you quite busy so not to be offended if you don't reply. Then I'd stop replying unless it's work related.

KatyClair · 26/11/2022 08:07

I can’t just leave as I work for another GP there too and that’s fine, he’s never messaged me, which is why I know this is wrong! I think I’ll have to stop replying so often and then maybe tell him to his face that I’m just so busy! I don’t know how he finds the time if I’m honest as his life sounds chaotic!

If it was a woman messaging my husband, I’d not be thrilled!

OP posts:
FinallyHere · 26/11/2022 08:21

I think I’ll have to stop replying so often

I think I would just stop replying to any 'non work' messages. Why bother replying if he's just bored and filling in time at work?

If you stave his messages of any reaction, he will for for a response elsewhere.

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