Should I intervene in 11yo’s friendships?

[JustaPOV]

DD started at a secondary school an hour’s bus ride away. There were 4 girls including her that goes from this town. At first we were really lucky to find someone else who lived close to us. However, this girl (let’s call her B) is quite overbearing for my rather naive daughter. At first they started off sitting in two groups of 2, but a few weeks in, this B started excluding her and would sit in a 3 seater, saving seat for the other 1 who gets on at a later stop, or if my DD sat there, she’d make her get off once the other one came on.

I know you can’t force friendships, and perhaps it’s my own DD’s (in?)ability to form friendships, but in class last week, B yanked off her lanyard and ripped the stickers my DD been awarded for maths, off it. I wouldn’t normally get involved but my DD got so upset this evening about the excluding that I’m really hurting for her.

Does exclusion and the sticker incident amount to sight bulkying? AIBU to think to maybe get B’a mum or the school involved?

Personally i think parents should not get involved in their teenagers drama. Every child's different but i remover when my mum got the school involved in one of my arguments with my best friend at the time without telling me, i was absolutely mortified. Your the parent at the end of the day so it's up to you but i do think parents getting involved in secondary school drama can make the situation much worse, this is the age where teens should be learning to handle situations on their own (within reason)
Remember you won't be there in every situation in her life when she feels like she's being ganged up on or left out.

I feel for you. Girls at this age can be very hard to parent around friendships. I have to say, an hour is a long way to go but the getting to and from school can be a minefield for most girls at this age. Mine walks and we had so many ups and downs around this age.

Secondly, never approach the parent, ever - that’s a good rule to follow I reckon. Approach the form head if you have one. Find out who is best by checking school’s communication policy. Nip it in the bud how. That’s my advice for everything. School need to deal with B.

Does your DD want you to get involved?
It was/is definitely bullying but no matter what school policies are in place then getting involved yourself won't automatically make it better, especially in high school.
Personally I wouldn't get involved unless DD asked/wanted me to, you also have to take into account you've only got one side of the story.

Year 7 is such a horrible year for girls and mums .