To be too scared to change jobs

[Ruby0707]

Just got a job offer. It's a promotion, bit more money, bit more responsibility but I have been coasting where I am.

I think I will turn it down as I am crippled with anxiety when trying to change jobs, I've been here before!

Is it just me? How do I get round this? AIBU?

The only way to really get around it is to just do it.
You say you have been here before, what happened?
What made you go for this promotion in the first place.
The anxiety is likely to be far worse than the actual doing.
If you do really want to do it look up acting as if. It's a common strategy used to help address anxiety. You act as if you can do it even if you are worried you can't. Sounds like you have a case of imposter syndrome.
Good luck. You can do it

No you have to do it!

I’ve recently changed jobs and I was really anxious about it but it’s worked out really well. I was coasting too, and this job is much harder work but much more interesting!

In response to what I did before, I turned down two jobs before finally moving to my current job and only did it then because I knew someone there so felt like a safety net.

Yep, imposter syndrome as I feel like I can't do it but also a crippling fear of change.

Gosh, I'm really winning at life 😂

Stop being so hard on yourself, OP. It's a big decision and yes it can be scary. But you need to take the plunge and just do it. You know you do.

And went for the promotion as I cant go anywhere else in my current role, I'm not challenged. Also work from home and want some more interaction.

Now I would be getting those things and not sure I want them. Just want to stay in the safety of my current role.

Go for it OP. Think of how many mediocre men go for promotion and never give it a second thought!

The fact you are anxious shows you care

You have to do it!

You've already done the hardest part, which is getting someone to believe in you enough to promote you in the first place. Don't throw away the chance!

I am starting a new job in two weeks. I have been in my current job for 22 years! I am really anxious too, but I too have been coasting. Someone described it to me as being in a ‘comfortable cage’ and they are right. I’m just telling myself that I’m unhappy where I am now so I really need to make a change. And if I end up not liking it, how much worse off than I am now will I be?

Hope it works out for you OP, you can do it! They wouldn’t have offered you the job if they didn’t think you could.

This is such a good point!

Wow 22 years! Good luck and I hope it goes well. Would love to hear how it goes when you start.

Thanks for your replies everyone. I know I need to do it, it's just feels very scary!

I’ll let you know how I get on, and you let me know how things turn out for you!

I moved jobs 3 weeks ago after 14 years in a senior post that I was performing very well in but coasting. The first 2 weeks were difficult. Now I know a few people, have a routine and know where key things are Im fine. I realised I was exceptional at my last job in comparison to what I see now in this new job. I held myself back and I can achieve more than I realised. Good luck OP

That's a deal! 🖐

Going into my new job to meet everyone and be shown around before my start date made things much easier on my first day x

This is really nice to hear, well done!

Yeh I might ask to do this and be honest about some of my anxieties before accepting. Carefully though so they don't change their minds!

Go for it. I think you will regret it if you don’t. Think of the extra money with the way things are going at the moment!
i took a leap earlier in the year, I had a lovely job where I was comfortable, no stress and fitted so well with family life. A job came up and I went for it, it’s taken me 7 months to feel like I’m capable of doing the job and I’ve had so many days wondering why the hell I left my old job, but it’s starting to pay off now, debts cleared and Xmas will be so much better knowing I’ve got more money coming In

7 months is a long time before you felt settled!

I am in the exact same position right now! It's so scary! I am the main breadwinner which is an added extra pressure for me so worrying about losing everything!

Same for me, I could have written your post!! I started a thread on it a few days ago actually and the overwhelming view was that I had to go for the job I've been asked to apply for! I've been in my current role 14 years and I know I need a change, been coasting far too long, top performer etc but I'm no longer challenged and I find myself doing the bare minimum now. I think WFH has played a big part in it to be honest.
I hope it turns out to be a great decision for both of us

I promised I would update you. I am 4 weeks in to my new role and I absolutely love it! The team are great, the work is challenging but there’s loads to get stuck into and the days just fly by.

The extra travelling that I thought might be hard work has been fine, and as a family we have settled into a new routine fairly easily.

Hope things are going ok for you too!

That's fantastic news! You must be feeling so great, well done! Fingers crossed it worked out for OP too.

I turned the job down :-(

Disappointed in myself but I had to do what was best for my mental health.

So glad it worked out for you though and thank you for coming back to update us. I hope I will be able to move at a later date, when the time is right.

I was in a job for 21 years - comfortable but bored and not happy - I moved jobs 3 years ago and it was brilliant! It worked out really well and gave me job satisfaction and confidence! I've just started another new job, so hopefully that will go as well. Just do it.