To do something about the urine stench

[Rainlady]

DP's gran is 93, a lovely lady and quite well generally, but has had an eye op recently. We've been popping round now and again to cook/take a few bits and see her while she recovers.

There's no gentle way to put this - her flat absolutely reeks of urine. The place is spotless, really tidy, and she has a cleaner, but the smell is so overpowering - tonight I had to go outside for a bit, I thought I was going to vomit. We had fish and chips and I just couldnt face eating it. I'm aware she has an incontinence issue but she's always clean, she's completely mobile and capable of changing herself regularly. Other members of the family must have noticed? Do I say something (to DP) and is there any way to remove/reduce the smell of urine from a home?

You might like to ask for this to be moved to Elderly Parents

Where is the small coming from? Bathroom? Wash basket? Is she economising by drying out pads and re-using?

it might be worth trying Simple solution, which is intended for pet urine, and contains enzymes to digest the smell producing bits.

The smell might be coming from her chair, if she's having accidents.

Finding out where the smell is coming from would definitely help. The cleaner will probably be able to tell you if it’s the mattress, the carpet or whatever.

I honestly have no idea, the smell is everywhere, it's the entire flat. Every room you walk into there's a new wave of stench.

She has a leather sofa and armchair she spends 90% of her time in and it's not the chairs.

My elderly GM had a cataract operation and started weeing on the carpet in her bedroom when she got home. I think the stay in hospital made her disoriented and she lost confidence. She maybe putting in incontinence products somewhere eg laundry basket. Try and find out where the smell is coming from.
Carers UK have a forum for elderly care.

Is there a commode? Could be stale urine in one. Has she got kylie sheets to put on the bed you can get smaller ones for the chair. It could be her pad change not being regular enough but that needs looking into because it will effect her skin integrity. Sounds to me like she needs a personal care package if she hasn't already got one in place.

Could she be not changing her pads often enough? Any concerns about money or access to getting pads? Is she struggling to wash herself- physically or cognitively? It sounds like she could do with a district nurse referral for a full assessment.

Could you take her to a kind, lady GP (like me)? First I’d want to rule out a UTI by sending off a sample but this could be used as a door opener to discuss the above and make a DN referral.

@Goldi321 Thank you. She is able to wash herself fine, she showers every day and is well groomed and dressed. I did notice a faint urine smell the first few times I visited years ago, but since then haven't been inside her home since the start of the pandemic. The other family members don't seem to notice at all? I do have quite a sensitive sense of smell to be fair. Trouble is I'm not sure it's my place to start telling DPs family how to look after her. If it was my own relative I'd definitely be looking into getting her a bit more help/care. (If I'm honest I suspect her kids are worried about losing their inheritance money to care fees, but that's another story).

She's financially comfortable and has incontinence pads on a subscription order from Amazon. I'm now thinking potentially it's where she's binning the used pads and not taking the bin out for days on end as she lives on the third floor.

I suspect she is hoarding the used pads somewhere and because they are in a drawer, under the bed etc she thinks no one will notice.

My father when he was living on his own had them piled up in the scummy bathroom. He rarely allowed people in the house but that is a whole other story!

TBH- I very much doubt your DP would want to discuss anything about the smell with her at all!!!

I agree with others- she could be leaving pads MUCH longer than before to save costs, trying to dry them out, having a UTI, worsening incontinence?

Does she have any social support such as district nurses? I too would be asking for a continence nurse assessment. I thought pads were subsidised for some conditions, low income etc?

If you can't discuss privately/discreetly with her, could you speak to another relative about your concerns who might be able to speak to her? Your MIL, an aunt etc?

Scented bin liners?

This happened with a relative of mine. She had to go into hospital for a few days so I was able to go into her house and work out where the smell was. It was the tiled floor in the bathroom (especially the grouting) and her bedroom carpet. I used enzyme cleaner that you use to get rid of cat wee smells and it worked. I also washed all the bedding, curtains, towels, bathmats etc which massively helped. If you don't have the luxury of an empty house can you offer to wash and dry all her bedding and towels as this may help.

A practical solution is to get her to start drinking Cranberry juice as this diminishes the smell. Then you need to sort out the source of the smell... out of interest does she have any old pets? Our elderly cat was recently the culprit in out house.

Poor poor lady. You are so lovely trying to help her.
See what help she is entitled to through her GP. My gran (91) has just been assigned carers as she has heart failure (she was very poorly a month ago, but has rallied). They come just once a day but could come more if she thought she needed it, and it isn't costing her a penny. This sweet old lady deserves the best care and help at her age to keep her as independent but safe as possible.

She's FIL's mother - FIL is a big adult baby who thinks of nobody but himself and buries his head in the sand when faced with difficult issues, like his elderly mother's declining health. He would be of the opinion I should keep my beak out if I raised it.

And maybe he'd be right, I don't know.

Also to note that money is not an issue here at all. She comfortably spends almost £100 a week on M&S shopping from Ocado (Mostly ready meals and expensive meat).

My MIL and my mum’s friend both had this issue and it was down to a prolapse. It’s quite easy to fix medically, but they were both too embarrassed to mention it to the Dr and eventually didn’t notice the smell themselves.

Tricky, my dad was like this. Bought him a variety of pads, but he never used them and he reeked. Not helped by the fact he had no care due to Covid and couldn’t shower, just wipe himself. It seeped into his chair, clothes, bed.

Mentally it is tough to accept that you are a bit incontinent.

Amazon sell 5l bottles of urine neutraliser- probably the best brand is the Chemical Hut one. Its orange. It's been designed for human urine and works. You can also buy blacklight torches (UV torches) on Amazon. Switch the lights off and shine the torch- any body fluids glow bright blue.
However if the urine has soaked into carpets/underlay/soft furnishings it's almost impossible to get the smell out again. If it's on anything that can be washed, a 90 degree wash will get rid of the smell but probably also wreck the fabric. Dettol laundry cleaner might work but tends not to be that great on very old/dried in urine smells.
If she is using continence products, check she has the right size and the right absorbency. She may require a larger size for overnights too. Products that are too small/large leak and products that are not absorbent enough won't do the job. You can self- refer to continence services in a lot of areas and they will work with her to find a solution that works. If it's not a self-referral then her GP will be able to do it.

Before anyone reports me for being the piss troll, I'm not. I work with the elderly on a daily basis and continence is a large part of my job.

It’s a hard odour to get rid of.

We moved into an ex old peoples home. It was carpeted - good wuality carpets not quite to our taste but ok.

One bedroom stank, we just couldn’t work out the source within the room.

Gave up and removed the carpet and underlay. Better but still stank. Eventually after bleaching and then painting the floorboards the room was ok.