Can't remember the last time someone asked how I was.

[Glumbums]

Just that really.
I ask other people regularly.
I don't feel seen or heard at all.
Are people just very self absorbed or am I doing something wrong?

How are you? 💐

Do you not interact with many people? I find most people seem to say "how are you?" instead of "hello" these days when you meet them.

(Unless you mean people asking how you are and actually caring about the answer, which is a much smaller proportion).

Is that you Meghan?

How are you @Glumbums

What is one of your favourite films?
What is one of your favourite songs?
What is something random you do on the internet?

Yeah, me too. I've just started a job with all blokes and it feels very lonely compared to working with women.

Plus my daughter is in a horrible silent stage.

I think that people get so caught up in their own lives sometimes that they just forget to ask, nothing you are doing wrong at all. How are you today @Glumbums ?

I am a very strong person, nobody asks because everyone assumes I’m always fine… even when I am not.

Any chance that is the case? Another possibility is that you have got so much in the role of being the carer that everyone has forgotten you have needs too. If that is the case, you need to regain some balance by stopping putting other people’s needs always first.

I hear you. I drop my DD at work and I say "have a good day." I speak to DP on the phone before he goes out to work and I say "have a good evening." Nobody ever wishes me a good time!

@FromDespairToHere Totally relate, I ask everyone in my household if they’ve had a good day, if they ask me I nearly fall off my chair!

@Glumbums how are you? How are you really? I can completely relate. I ask, people answer in great detail and tell me honestly how they are and never, ever ask me how I am. I’m noticing it more and more. I think sometimes it seems more obvious to me if I’m actually not ok or having a difficult time. It’s a bit sad really, as I retreat from those people in a way. I really do hope you are ok.

I don't ever seem to be asked either and when I am it's in a flippant not really bothered way. I've been told I seem capable so I wonder if people think I dont need the support.

How are you? 🤗💚

When the family don’t, flag it up. Even in a joking ‘who going to be the first to ask me how my day was?’ Kind of way. If they don’t realise seething won’t help (I’m talking about my experience, please don’t take it as a jibe)
sometimes it isn’t about us and it’s just that a lot of people have a lot on. Sometimes it is, in that we’ve managed to surround ourselves by people who could behave better towards us. Either way, use the info and adapt - have less time for those who don’t have it for you and more time and space will be freed up for people who actually are interested to move into your life 💕

Very much the same.. how are you OP? I hope you are having a relaxing Friday eve, I know a few people who are in the same place.. sending you 💓

I felt a bit like this before my DSis was diagnosed with terminal cancer recently. Now that's all people ask me. All the time. I wish for the days when they didn't again..

Yeah, people are self absorbed. I find having a strop about it occasionally helps. Put yourself first a bit op - its okay for you to be selfish too.

Ah thanks everyone. I guess I do come across as independent and self sufficient. Partly through having to be because of life circumstances.

@pdlib sorry to hear about your sister x

I was going to say the same. If you come across as very independent then people always assume you are okay. There is then a pattern set. This is also me. It’s quite hurtful but I do also think it’s my doing

(pdlib - lots of love)

Could it be that for some people they just assume you’ll tell them? Unless there is something specific with dp, family, best friends etc we just share without being asked iyswim.

Or if you’re the one that others view as independent etc I think in addition to some people assuming you’re fine, certain people deliberately avoid the question because if they were to ask you and you said you weren’t ok they wouldn’t be able to continue leaning on you and demanding one way support.

I feel the same! People just talk about themselves all the time