To tell the social worker DS is in contact with his dad?

[giyic49244]

Not sure whats best.

DS is a teen, he hasn't seen his dad for a few years which is his choice as he was emotionally and physically abusive, although this was never proven but we all believe DS. DS has a social worker and everytime his dad has tried to make contact, he has told her. However, I've recently found out they are in contact with each other and DS has been asking him to send him money, apparently his dad says he wants to talk to him as he cares etc and DS tells him to send him money first to ‘prove’ what he's saying and apparently most of the times he has.

I'm worried as it was just last year he was sending DS abusive text messages and now DS is getting money from him, DS has told me it's fine and if he starts sending the abusive messages again he'll block him

WIBU to tell his social worker?

How about the truth

You should definitely tell his social worker. To be honest I don’t think I’d be very impressed with ds if it was me - it seems as though he’s manipulating his father into handing over cash, and that wouldn’t sit well with me regardless of his fathers past behaviour.

I personally wouldn't feel comfortable that my DS was taking money from someone who he knows wants to talk to him, regardless of his DF's actions. It's quite manipulative and I'd be worried about where it could end up. DF might then use the fact he's sent DS money as a way to guilt/blackmail him into meeting or doing things that DS does not feel comfortable with.

Although saying that, only you know your DS and know how he can handle things and only you know what his DF is capable of. I just don't think this is a safe option as it might give the DF opportunity to manipulate the son or guilt trip him. He might also ask for the money back etc, it just has a lot of potential to go wrong.

Definately tell SW what is happening. If later SW found out you knew but did not tell her you would lose her trust.

You sound in defence of your son (understandably) but he is in the wrong here. He is fleecing money from his dad and threatening him with no further contact unless he agrees to pay him. I agree there's abusive messages involved, though don't agree that your son is the one receiving them.

Nothing like blackmail from an early age...... And yes the social worker should be told.

I'm not defending DS, I know he is in the wrong I haven't said he isn't. And I didn't say DS is receiving abusive messages now, but he has in the past since he stopped seeing his dad.

When he had rinsed what he could out of his dad?