Pantomime resistance

[FabFitFifties]

My just turned 12 year old is saying he doesn't want to go to any pantomimes this year. I had a dread of this last year, so we did 3 🤣, which he did enjoy. Despite anticipating this, I'm still gutted.
YABU - give the kid a break, he's growing up
YANBU - keep chipping away, until he cracks.

I have a 12yo son, and a child who will be 12 when I'm 53! She's seven now. My 12 yo does need encouraging out, but once out, is happy to have gone, always. Something like panto though, I'd probably not push. A better show at the theatre, yes - if you can afford it, obviously. I'm all for experiences and making memories, but I think it sounds like you've done plenty of pantomimes. That said, as a family, we do sometimes go to something more for one family member than another, and that's sometimes necessary, to put ourselves out a bit. Balance though.
If it means that much to you, ask him to keep you company for just one this year.

Might have to put it behind you... 😉

I've always hated panto and endured them as a kid but opted out as soon as I could. I find them cringey, the noise is overwhelming, the out-dated jokes are just awful and the expected audience participation is so uncomfortable. I feel guilty as my family love them, but I can't make myself go.

Take a friend instead and find something else the two of you would enjoy, linked with whatever he's interested in. Maybe make it a tradition to have a festive day out each year, but vary the activity to suit what he likes at that point, so you still have that nice experience.

Enjoying something once I was there translated as:

Masking to make my mum happy.
Obviously fucking hating something, but my mum full on imagined that I was enjoying it.

Stop torturing the poor kid, and ask him what HE wants to do. Maybe YOU will enjoy what he wants once you get into the spirit of it.

Book for yourself and a friend and go.

chances are he’ll be wanting to go when he realises you respected his wishes and didn’t book for him.

my lot keep wanting to go to everything whereas I was expecting them to be all teen angsty and saying no and hiding in their rooms. But no they want to join in and get annoyed I automatically presume they don’t.

Panto is awful. Congratulate him on his good taste.

hahaha I am in my 30s and going to one for the first time since childhood with boyfriend - we can't wait. And no, not taking a kid, it's just for us. You're never too old haha OH NO YOU'RE NOT

Not sure if this makes you feel better or not! But as a child I quite liked pantos, as a teenager and HATED them (didn't get the jokes) and as an adult I love them again.

12 is about the age my eldest stated to refuse.

No point in forcing it and wasting money.

I never liked pantos; hated the men dressed as women, and the principal girls who always had fat thighs. But I do remember enjoying Peter Pan, The Glass Slipper and, in the dim recesses of my memory, Where the Rainbow Ends.

Honestly? 12 is just too old to enjoy it for what it is - and too young to be fun for old times’ sake or as a bit of nostalgia. My kids are a similar age and have been exactly the same. Try a different sort of Christmas show or film instead?

Pantos are for young kids and adults. They are not for teens. Ask him again when he's 20.

Leave the poor kid alone! 😊

Just go without him if you would enjoy it.

My DC 20,18,18 and 12 all still love the panto and are delighted to be going back after a 2 year covid related break.

I have never seen my (at that time) 13 year old laugh as much as he did at the panto last Christmas. I thought he was going to give himself a hernia. He loved it so much, the silliness and the in jokes about local areas and celebs. We are going again next week and he is very excited.

Why not ask him what he would enjoy seeing and book something accordingly?

3 is way too much, one would be tolerable. I would say 13 year old knows his mind, pantomine isnt for everyone I have taken my kids so they see what its about but find it annoying lol,as a child I would go all the time to the theatre, ballet, opera, operetta etc since I grew too old to have to go I made a decision perfoming arts is not my thing at all.

Go to an adult screening with a friend. It's a total scream.

Mine stopped wanting to go to the panto at about 8/9 thank god , I only went to one with them and then I out sourced it to one of the aunts - I cannot stand Panto .

I love pantomimes, my two dd's are in one this year so it's going to be even more special.

If mine said they didn't want to go and watch one and were too young to stay home alone or I had nobody to have them for the evening then tough for them and they'd have to come.

Hmmm local Panto can be a bit hit and miss- too old to get scare or excited or go up on stage etc. plus his mates might take the piss? Find a friend with younger kids , my teens love taking the little ones to stuff like this.

OP - you're right not to book it without a Yes from him. I am proud of you, and I also sympathise!

My parents were very, VERY weird and emotional about me growing up (my mum especially) and I was forced to go to things which were much too young for me, well into my teens, to fulfil their weird fantasies. I was made to feel horrible about myself by them if I didn't put on a performance of liking it. Long story short, it's one of the things that comes up in my psychotherapy sessions a lot. Parents, please take note - never do this.

OP, I totally get where you're coming from, change is always hard. I agree that you should go with a friend and make a fun night of it.

My Dd is 14 and has sudden enthusiasm for these things if going with a friend / friends instead of just with me and ds!

I do know how you feel as I keep wanting to book for things both of mine (14 and 8) are too old for. But there are new things they do like as teenagers!

Find an adult panto to go to in the new year, much more fun.

Could you go see a Christmas film together at the cinema instead?