MIL & Pregnancy

[NickyATA]

AIBU?
When we found out we were pregnant we decided to tell only our parents and siblings. I told my MIL this and I just feel a bit more worried about this pregnancy than the last (however even in our last pregnancy I never posted an announcement on social media etc)
Last week on the day of our first scan my MIL rings DH and asks why hadn’t we told his Grandmother (GM) and if we didn’t ring her then she would. We are not close with his GM but wanted to tell her ourselves, when we were ready.
Yesterday during work my MIL rang DH again and told him to ring his GM and tell her there and then. DH rang me but I was in a meeting so he rang GM and told her.
I’m so angry, I feel manipulated and like my feelings on my pregnancy don’t matter. I’m really hurt and upset that DH didn’t stick up for what we had decided.
I know it’s tough as it’s his mum and he wasn’t worried about telling people like I am, but I think he should have stood his ground and told her we would ring his GM when we were ready.
Am I being unreasonable for being upset about this? I know it’s been a week but I just didn’t feel ready to tell everyone yet.

YANBU and your MIL has absolutely no right to dictate to you or your DH who should be told and when. Its outrageous that she put your DH in that position. If I were you I'd also be upset DH didn't stick to the agreement he and I had. However it sounds like his MIL is a bit of a nightmare so while I would discuss your feelings with him I'd avoid being too cross or critical of him. For one thing, he might already be feeling harassed by his mother and your MIL may actually be hoping to cause a bit of trouble between you both, she sounds controlling.

All of that said - you could tell nobody or you could tell the world. If you're going to feel anxious, you're going to feel anxious. I was the same way with my pregnancy - it took some of the joy from it and I wish I'd spoken to my GP or MW and got some support. Is this something you could do, it won't make any difference on the MIL front but you might find talking to someone about how you're feeling will help you.

Why is your Dh doing what mummy says? He should have bollocked her and told her it’s none of her business. Going forward, I wouldn’t tell her a thing in case she repeats her unreasonable demands.

I’d be absolutely livid! Why didn’t your DH just tell him mum no?

She sounds like a nightmare but he should be on your side, not allowing himself to be pushed around by her.