To be exasperated that DP won't talk about sex

[Rainlady]

I've been with DP (34) for 5 years. He has been quite shy and embarrassed about sex since day one, and I was a little apprehensive about this at first. By shy I mean never initiating sex, only following my lead, seeming self conscious, etc. This is also, I believe, down to him being very concerned about 'violating' me as he's very conscious of issues around consent, and fears he is being disrespectful.

However, this is causing a bit of an issue. We havent had sex for almost a year now. I don't have a high sex drive, and I'm not pressuring him at all (I'm not someone who is desperate for sex) but would like it now and again. He doesn't appear to want to and if I try to casually discuss it, he brushes it off and changes the subject or literally walks away. He just won't talk about it.

For context, we have a great, loving relationship and can talk/have a laugh about anything... except sex! He doesn't have ED or anything. It's making me feel a bit like he's gone off me I suppose. Aibu? Any suggestions for coaxing him to discuss it?

I'm in much the same situation OP. Mine says "no no that's naughty!" jokingly of course but it's a bit off-putting. Maybe some men just have a very low, or non-existent sex drive.

Omg! A YEAR!!! What's the actual point?
I can't even imagine it's a viable relationship to go that long without sex?

Yeah sounds similar, and I don't have a problem with that, but I sort of just want him to just say he doesn't really care much about sex. And then that's cool. I understand not all men are sex crazed, maybe it's a taboo for them to admit it? I do have male friends who have spoken about not being sex driven at all.

My ex was the complete opposite (near enough demanded sex every day) and I think I also need to let go of the worry I'm not fulfilling someone's needs enough. Because that was a BIG issue in that relationship.

Extremely off-putting, I feel for you.