To not want to go on this holiday?

[bendmeoverbackwards]

Before I start, I do realise how lucky I am and this is a first world problem.

Me and dh have 3 dds - 21, 19 and 15. Youngest is on the autistic spectrum and last year had some mental health/anxiety issues resulting in erratic school attendance.

In the summer of 2021 we started to think about a Christmas family holiday, probably the last one as a family of 5. Older two were very keen, they still enjoy spending time with us. We originally booked Gran Canaria for Christmas 2021 but then had to change the destination as dd1 is unvaccinated (severe needle phobia). We booked for Mexico instead. However we then postponed to this year, partly because of Omicron and partly due to dd3's poor health (plus she was not getting on at all well with dd1 (understatement of the year)).

Fast forward - we are now due to have this holiday this year. Last Christmas was much better timing for all of us - it was my 50th birthday in January so partly a celebration of that, and no-one was doing any important exams.

I had hoped that dd3's mock GCSEs would be in December (as they were last year) but it turns out they are in January and she is stressed with all the revision she will need to do. We get back on 30th December and first exam is on 5th Jan.

Dd2 also has uni exams in January which are more important than last year as she is now in her second year. And dd1 is in her last year and has a dissertation she needs to work on.

Dd3 said to me she is worrying about her mocks and doesn't think she'll be able to relax and enjoy the holiday.

All in all, I feel a bit meh about going long haul now the timing isn't great and now that covid restrictions have lifted so there are more options for us.

I also wouldn't go. We were in a similar position a few years ago and both DC were clear that they wouldn't enjoy the holiday properly if it was close to exams.

It would be a shame to go so far, spend so much, and not get the most out of it.

I don’t know.

Just been speaking to dd2, she is really keen to go in spite of her uni exams. She says she’s been looking forward to it for ages. If we postponed I don’t even know when we could go, older two may have plans for the summer 🤷‍♀️

They're mocks, not the real thing, I'd go. They can revise out there. I'd be much more productive revising in the sun than the gloomy Dec weather here. As long as there's a nice balance of chilling and revising. Think of all that Vit D!

As you say, the older two might be doing their own thing in the summer and you may not get the opportunity to go as a family again.

I think what we might consider is changing the dates slightly. We're booked for 20 - 30 December (getting home on NYE due to overnight flight). We're going to look if we can shorten it a bit and get home around 27th December if there is flight availability. That will give dd3 a bit longer at home to get over jet lag and be prepared for the start of her exams.

Do you think that’s a good compromise? Coming home a bit earlier?

It’s a long way to go for a week, but it is a reasonable compromise allowing you all to have a break whilst giving time to revise and get over jet lag on your return.

I'd go. Its GCSE mocks - not A levels so uni predictions don't hang on them. The older two want to go.
Don't let youngest anxiety change plans - but if you can get back a few days earlier then do that.

I think coming home earlier will be a worse situation, regardless of all 3 dc having exams, imho 7 days is not enough time to really enjoy a long haul holiday.

It will be 2 days travelling with only 5 days there, majority of those days it will be spent acclimatising and coping with jet lag, then, by the time you feel human again you'll be flying home and having to deal with the same back home. Personally I wouldn't do it and reschedule, but if this holiday is a once in a lifetime opportunity or impossible to reschedule then go, I agree with pp life is too short but for me I couldn't imagine anything worse for a few days of sunshine.

If the kids wanted to go they would be suggesting studying whilst away…. Sounds like they aren’t fussed.

Doesn't sound like anyone wants this holiday. Can you cancel?

Dd2 is keen to go, she thinks she will be more productive studying there than here. She missed our summer holiday as she had other plans and still enjoys family time.

dd1 I assume is also looking forward to it.

Go then. No ever regrets a holiday. 👍🏽

I took Ds on a work trip to Barcelona I earlier in the year, I went to office, he sat on the roof terrace and studied. Worked well.

I suppose it depends on the child @Chocbuttonsandredwine if they can work on holiday. In April we went to Cyprus (first post covid holiday). Dd3 had end of year exams at the start of the summer term. She took books etc but barely did any work on holiday and didn’t do brilliantly in her exams. Think she’s worried about the same thing happening again.