To think it’s weird for ex partners to act this way?

[MattHandiv]

5 years since the split, no kids, weren’t married.

A day at a local art exhibition, lunch, shopping, takeaway and a film back at the ex boyfriend’s house. Ex boyfriend dropping of ex girlfriend at 6am in the morning after talking all night.

What now?

Ha seriously you need that explaining? As with most threads on mumsnet the answer, no matter what, will be that the OP's fella is in the wrong, and the above was just me stating the the situation can be spun so that he is in the wrong.

From the update, the second paragraph is the likely answer.

It wouldn't be OK with me, no. I'd see it as a red flag and I'd end it. Especially as you say you're just "seeing the guy" so I assume no big commitment to get out of.

I’m certain it was a friendship type thing, he was very open about it. I know he won’t have slept with her, he’s definitely not the type to do that. I just don’t understand the need to spend so much time with an ex. I think meeting for a few hours is okay, all day no.

He said these type of catch ups (longer ones) are rare and only happen every few months. They have sporadic contact

He's messy get rid!

How long have you been seeing him OP?
personally it would be a huge red flag for me and I wouldn’t be comfortable with it.

As oppose to the others who are The Type? He's a dick. That's the type he is.

If you're in a relationship then YANBU and most people would consider the evenings and early morning drop offs to be inappropriate.

If you're seeing each other casually/it's not exclusive/still getting to know each other then it's not necessarily unreasonable, but I'd probably walk away because it sounds messy.

I have an ex I’d do that with if we were both single, with absolutely no thoughts of it being anything other than platonic. We just enjoy each other’s company and could quite easily chat away until 6am.

But as I’m married and he’s engaged, neither of us would think it would be appropriate because our respective partners wouldn’t appreciate it, and their feelings come first. It would be disrespectful.

Is this a regular occurrence or a one off? Either way it's not appropriate. He clearly doesn't respect your feelings.
LTB

If it makes you feel bad then it's bad.

Why do you need to ask Mumsnet if you're being unreasonable?

They still have feelings for one another. If you are with him any sort of romantic way, he doesn't respect you. I also wouldn't be too sure they aren't sleeping together.

I'd say if they're both single it's no-one else's business but nor would I judge you for objecting as the partner of one of them.

What "type" does he need to be OP that he wouldn't sleep with his ex and how do you know for certain? How long have you been with him that you know this man so well?

Personally I don't think it's weird. It's rare. But it's also very mature.

People date because they have things in common and enjoy one another's company, and not all break ups involve animosity towards ex-partners. Why throw away a good friendship just because it's not worked out as a relationship?

If you're sure he's not the type to cheat, then you don't think anything untoward is happening. So why is it strange for him to want to spend time with a friend? Would you think it's weird if he did those activities with a female friend he hadn't dated? How about a male friend? Do YOU have any friends that you could envision spending the same amount of time with?

Sounds like they're back together.

Tell him that if he wants to continue in a relationship with you he must understand that this isn't ok.