AIBU to think that this is perfectly OK?

[USaYwHatNow]

3 month old baby (literally 3 months old today). Breastfeeding. He is awake until 1am 😭 I've tried the putting him to bed at 7ish then again at 9ish but he just cries. He genuinely isn't ready to sleep and will then have last feed about midnight (so, soon!) and then my husband can settle him and he sleeps for between 3-5hrs. Personally I'm not concerned but it seems as per Google he's not getting enough sleep (he naps after feeds in the day though). Is the above okay? As I type I've just fed him again and he's fed to sleep and is being settled by my husband so I'm hoping he'll sleep for most of the rest of the night! Should I be persevering? Or should I not try to force something that obviously isn't going to happen? I guess I'm interested in hearing about other breastfed babies' sleep patterns around the same age?

Just realised this is in the wrong section. How do I get this moved to AIBU?

You can report it to be moved but I don't think AIBU is the best place either to be honest. I think you should put it in breastfeeding section.

When my DC was 3 months I didn't bother with 7pm sleep, I didn't have a routine and coslept (safely as they can die if you do it in dangerous conditions). Broken sleep was the norm until they were over 9 months.
I am totally against sleep training a baby.

They are all different. If he is gaining weight, and alert when he is awake, then that would seem to be normal for him, so you don't need to worry. 3 months is still very young. One thing mine taught me very quickly is that you can't force them to do anything, you will just make yourself miserable trying.

At 3m both mine were in the depths of colic/reflux so evenings were a complete write-off and 3h sleep in one go would have been amazing. I remember the darkness I felt at that point like it was yesterday.

At 3m they're still completely topsy-turvy and have zero concept of bed time. Perfectly normal op, even without anything else going on.

I think three months is too young for sleep training. It sounds normal and you have to cope around that by napping yourselves when you can, taking turns or getting someone to take the baby out for a couple of hours.

As you say, he’s only three months - he’s still on his own schedule and doing his own thing which I would say is perfectly normal. He hasn’t been on google so doesn’t know better 😄 when it comes to feeding and sleeping timings and lengths I don’t trust anything that says what small babies ‘should be doing’. It’s all bullshit. They’re all different, and as long as they are gaining weight and seem content I wouldn’t worry. I certainly don’t think anything can be ‘forced’ at that age - definitely no sleep training or anything like that - but you can gently start a bit of a routine like making sure the lights are dimmed in the evening and making sure it’s a little quieter around that time if you can. They have no concept of night and day and that is something you can begin to teach and they can start to pick up on subtle settling cues.

Morning, @USaYwHatNow - we've now moved this over to AIBU as requested. That said, as another poster has pointed out, it may be better off in the Infant Feeding topic - do let us know if you'd like us to shift it over there instead.

I remember worrying a lot about sleep and naps but it all turned out OK. We spent a long time thinking baby wasn't tired in evening. But then we put baby to sleep earlier and seemed to work better! So maybe baby was over tired???

I never really worked it out. I think baby sleep is quite random and if they happen to sleep well one day e.g. they day you wear purple, there's a high risk of being superstars wearing purple for ever more.

If you know what I mean!

At the end of the day you are the expert on your baby so do what you think suits best.

Superstitious! Not super stars

My dd has always been a night owl. When a baby 11 was a normal time for her to sleep, 2 am was not unheard of. Anything earlier was most definitely a nap. Now, at 2.5, she's got into the routine of dropping off around 10, regardless of whether she has a nap or not. I'd love if she'd go down earlier but there's no forcing the issue.

Sounds totally normal to me. I didn't bother with a set 'bedtime' for mine til around 5 months, til then I just went with whatever they wanted to do.

I agree that babies rarely read the books and advice on what they 'should' be doing.
Sadly, you just have to accept that your sleep is going to be disturbed for some time to come and it's a bastard!

I think bedtime for me at that point was anywhere between 11 and 2...it got earlier as the months went on.. Don't try to force it. They sleep during the day and I found slept more as they got more active later on which makes sense.. But I wouldn't be trying to put them to bed at 7 or even 9, based on my own experience..

If its working for you leave it as it is! My 6 month old at 3 months was napping downstairs until we went to bed, then would sleep in 4 hour chunks. Then the 4 month sleep regression hit - at that time we started a bed time routine.. he would sleep from 7.30/8 until midnight, and then was up every 45 mins 🤦‍♀️. We moved him to his own room 2 weeks ago, he's now sleeping up to 5.5 hour chunks, and goes to bed beautifully every night!