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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To fly home for DM operation

2 replies

newuser94832 · 23/11/2022 12:14

DH and I have recently moved abroad, we will be here for around 2 years we think. We have lived here previously and returned for work.

I am considerably more homesick this time and struggling. I love the place where we are and love living here, but I miss my family so much that I have struggled to feel settled this time.

My DM is having a hip replacement on Monday, she is 70. Up until now I have been relaxed about it and had never planned to fly home, but suddenly I feel consumed with anxiety and guilt and I want to go home to be with her. She has DP who will look after her and I have siblings, but DM and I are closer and I would have been looking after her had I been at home. Also as the time has gotten nearer she has been more honest about being nervous.

I started a new job last week and my manager isn't in because they have flown home to be with their mum who is having an operation... I think this is what has tipped me over the edge.

I'm just feeling overwhelmed with emotions and guilt and not sure whether to pay for a last minute flight to go home. I'd realistically only be able to stay for a week which part of me feels like would be worse for both of us, I know that DM misses me a lot, but I would do it. Taking time off from work wouldn't be an issue. We aren't due to go home for a planned visit until late next year.

WWYD?

OP posts:
User13579367337 · 23/11/2022 12:17

I’m from Thailand and my mum broke her hip a few weeks ago. Your mum is being very well looked after. I’d leave the visit for now. Surely she’ll tell you if she needs you?

M0rT · 23/11/2022 12:21

I'd go, if taking time off isn't a problem then go and be there for your DM when she's nervous.
You will both be the better for it.
Also you will probably be much more reassured seeing her after her operation and going back to where you live with peace of mind.

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