To pull out of the Xmas work party...

[Butterfly98a]

My Xmas work party is coming up in the next few weeks, it's a big event at a place with 100's of people. I originally said I would go as I felt under pressure and paid a deposit. The company are paying the rest of the money.
I am really not good in big crowds and I have had aniexty about it for a little while and am really nervous about going especially now as the person I work closest to in the company isn't going anymore. Not really close with anyone else and not sure anyone would care that I don't go but it would get mentioned in the team meeting like oh you are not going!
There is a waiting list of people who want a place so the company wouldn't loose anything with me not going. Would I be wrong to make an excuse and not go?

No you wouldn’t. Not at all.

Of course not! If you were one of the organizers of it and pulling out would mean a bunch of work would fall on someone else that would be one thing, but as a guest with a waiting list behind you? When it’s presumed that people may have last minute changes this time of year anyway? Don’t stress about it.

Just let them know ASAP so the person who can go instead has time to make their plans.

This takes me back to office days, SO many people where I worked in large organisations used to loathe the office Xmas party. Many didn't go. Just make your excuses and forget about it.

Of course not! Just say you cannot make it, you don't need to give a reason, and one of the people on the waiting list can have your place.

Pull out let them know asap

Do you have the sort of job where you can work from home?

In which case, I'd develop something contagious 4 days before the event - enough time for someone on the wait list to take your place.

"I'm so sad - I wish I could have been there!'

Pull out - life is too short to make yourself upset and worried over any party, let alone a work one.

In my experience, literally no one has a view as to whether you should go. The worst thing is people saying they are, then just not showing up.
Tell them today, they can reallocate your spot.

Xmas parties aren't a requirement on attendance, just pull out but be willing to loose your deposit

Not unreasonable at all. You're under no obligation to go to these things and if you won't enjoy it then don't bother.

Just say that you are now unable to make it, so please offer your place to someone on the waiting list. No need to give any detail on the reason. If anyone says anything about you not going, just say that at least it meant one more person on the waiting list got a place.

You would only be wrong if you said you where going but pulled out that day as someone on the waiting list old have taken yout place

Such a shame that you're going to get that splitting migraine on the day of the party. You were so looking forward to it!

Seriously though, for future events.

Think up 10 excuses now why you can't do something and memorise them. visiting parents, weekend away etc. Next time something comes up you can just say "Oh shoot, I'd love to but I think I've got x that weekend, I'll have to see if I can rearrange"

It means you're not on the spot to say Yes right that moment, and if it turns out you do want to go you can just say you managed to rearrange it, or you got the date wrong.

YANBU but please let them know ASAP so someone on the waiting list can take your place. Keep it simple.

Dear X

I can no longer attend the Christmas party. Please offer my place to someone on the waiting list.

Many thanks,
Y

Why is that necessary when she can just say now that she is no longer able to go, giving the organisers plenty of time to approach people on the waiting list?

I’m not going to mine and we’ve got a small team. I don’t want to risk catching bugs just before Christmas as our night out is very close to the big day (too late to book anything else). I don’t care what they think.

Don't go if you don't want to.
However,you could turn it around and see it as an opportunity to increase your confidence and make more work friends?
You could set yourself a target of two hours and wear something you feel comfortable yet special in.
No offence,but your entire post was negative and that might be indicative of how you are feeling ? Try to turn things around into positives,the more you do that the more positivity you will attract to you.
Good luck.

Definitely nothing wrong with pulling out, especially as someone on the waiting list will get to go, it's a win win. It's my idea of hell, I never go to them. Worse if you felt pressured to go.

Don’t put yourself under pressure to go. You can make your excuses and pull out.