Slow burner, or am I just not into him?

[Kittykat9070]

Ok, so I’m recently dating a guy, only a few months.

He is literally treating me better than I ever ever have been treated before. He’s kind, Generous, and I know exactly where I stand.

My problem is, I’ve always gone for the crazy butterfly’s in my tummy type of relationship. But thinking back, the ones who gave me butterflies, I was also on edge, and ended up having my heart broken.

This guy… so I have no butterflies, I don’t have a massive yearning to see him, I don’t exactly fancy the pants off him.. but… when I’m with him I do enjoy his company! I do like spending time with him and then I end up thinking ‘actually I do fancy him’

So my question is, Aibu to just keep going with it?
Has anybody else had a relationship start like this but ended up really loving them? I don’t want to waste either of our time but I’m very confused right now . I know this man will give me a nice drama free life, he’s not an alpha male (which is possibly my problem)

As a side note, I came from a very turbulent family.. my parents were either loves young dream or absolutely killing each other. I’ve heard that people growing up in that environment believe none dramatics to be boring and seek the excitement of a love/hate relationship.

is this me?? Im late 30’s so I’m not a young girl new to dating!

I had this before, perfect guy, but just no butterflies. Then we had our first proper kiss and the rest is history

We've been together almost 3 years and married just over 2 months.

@Kittykat9070 I didn't fancy him loads, even though objectively he was really good looking - better looking than people I did fancy loads, and honestly I think I'll always fancy slightly more chaotic, unavailable, bad boys more. My problem is I always think if someone wants me there must be something up with them. I suspect if he had suddenly lost interest paradoxically I would have fancied him more. However, I did grow to really love and care for him. Way, way more than any of the other people I had dated who were cooler and unemotionally unavailable. And it was a deep-rooted love which was as strong (although obviously not the same!) as I felt for my siblings and parents. I was the happiest I had ever been in a relationship and did not regret it. The drama and uncertainty I felt in relationships fuelled more by lust seemed irrelevant. I felt content.

LOVES'S COMING
She had looked for his coming as warriors come,

With the clash of arms and the bugle's call;

But he came instead with a stealthy tread,

Which she did not hear at all.

She had thought how his armor would blaze in the sun,

As he rode like a prince to claim his bride:

In the sweet dim light of the falling night

She found him at her side.

She had dreamed how the gaze of his strange, bold eye

Would wake her heart to a sudden glow:

She found in his face the familiar grace

Of a friend she used to know.

She had dreamed how his coming would stir her soul,

As the ocean is stirred by the wild storm's strife:

He brought her the balm of a heavenly calm,

And a peace which crowned her life.

Poems of Passion by Ella Wheeler

Chicago : Belford, Clarke & Co, 1883.

Be with the man that when the shit hits the fan, he will do anything, absolutely anything to get you and your future kids out of it. Nothing more sexy (and dependable) than that.

I am still with the boy who gave me butterflies and it has been 17 years of energy draining crap to be honest. The mysterious, misunderstood allure is definitely over rated!