theanswersaregrowinginthewind ·
23/11/2022 00:02
This has been playing on my mind since the weekend.
I was at a function (a close friends wedding) at the weekend. Its very typical for these types of events to end up in a party towards the end of the night- there was a band playing live music and usually everyone gets up and dances for a bit, or at least for one song. I suppose its just the done thing, unless you're absolutely not up for dancing which is obviously fine too. Most people probably dance for at least a song or two.
I was with a group of close friends. One couldn't dance as she was injured, the other didn't dance because they were chatting to others at the table and they dont usually dance at these events anyway. My other friend loves a good boogie (I despise that phrase but you get the gist!!!) and she wanted to get up for a dance and tried to get me to get up with her. Usually I'm up for it - I don't enjoy it and always feel a little self conscious but I just bear it to be sociable I suppose. But for some reason, this time my brain froze and I panicked. I really, really didnt want to dance. I felt so self conscious and embarrassed and the idea of getting up and dancing completely filled me with terror. I tried to laugh it off and say 'maybe later!' but my friend was adamant we had to get up for a dance. I wanted to get up and have fun, I wanted to be sociable, I wanted to dance with my friend, but I was terrified and couldn't do it. I tried to breezily say 'no thanks I don't want to' but eventually had to dig my heels in and say NO. My friend was physically trying to pull me up at this point and saying she didnt want to dance alone. I kept refusing to go up and my friend accepted it but she was annoyed at me for it. She didnt refer to it again but it was obvious she was pissed off at me and she said I was being antisocial.
I don't know what happened to me. Everyone feels self conscious at these things and nobody likes that dancing that's the equivelent of small talk- awkwardly shuffling and pretending to love it meanwhile dying inside. But this time I felt completely frozen with terror and didnt want to dance.
Other people sitting nearby heard it and looked at me like I was being weird, and a few people commented things along the lines of 'oh don't take yourself so seriously, everyone is dancing' and I felt so embarrassed by it all. It's been playing on my mind ever since the weekend and I feel like I made myself look like an idiot, and I annoyed my friend too. I dont know why I froze, I just really didnt want to dance.
AIBU?