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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If Child Is Too Sick For School

32 replies

ToughLoveLDN · 22/11/2022 22:44

Hi,

AIBU to think that if your child is too sick to go to school with vomiting etc then they shouldn't be going for a sleepover at grandparents?

YABU - It's fine
YANBU - No they should be at home with their parents

OP posts:
Suzi9989 · 22/11/2022 22:46

Sick children should stay home with their parents. YABVU to consider passing them to grandparents...
The End

PumpkinDart · 22/11/2022 22:46

I suppose it depends on the set up, is childcare an issue? Are the grandparents in good health? Do the grandparents know they've been unwell? What's the risk to them? Lots of variables really.

Ponoka7 · 22/11/2022 22:46

I'm my DD'S childcare. I look after my GC when they are off school sick, so why wouldn't I if they are sick overnight?

WeDontNeedToTalkAboutJamie · 22/11/2022 22:46

It's up to the grandparents surely? If the child is happy to go and grandparents are happy to have them then why not?

Crunchymum · 22/11/2022 22:48

Depends really.

Sleep over could be a necessity (due to parents work etc) but as a general sleep over then the sick child should have course be at home.

My question is who actively wants a puking kid around if they don't have to?

HotPotato787 · 22/11/2022 22:48

Children tend to have illnesses that require them to be absent from school more frequently than employers like staff to be absent from work. Grandparents are often the back up childcare for sick children so parents can keep working.

I wouldn’t dump a sick child on grandparents to go out socialising though.

Hankunamatata · 22/11/2022 22:48

Depends on grandparents. My inlaws often pick up dc if they are sick and I'm working as they are 2nd emergency contact (they offered) amdni have no phone contact at work. They will also mind them if they are poorly and I'm working.

MissDollyMix · 22/11/2022 22:51

When my DS (and my mother) were younger she often used to look after him when he was off nursery/school sick. Obviously she knew what the situation was and was comfortable with it, likewise, DS was close enough to her that he felt ok with her looking after him. I had to work though so there wasn’t really any other option. There’s a lot of variables in that situation though.

Original poster
ToughLoveLDN · 22/11/2022 22:51

For clarification it's not my child. It's not the first time that the child has been sent to grandparents when sick, or has become sick with grandparents and then left there for multiple days and I just find it really uncaring as a parent? If my DD has so much as a cold I keep her home as I worry about spreading, also about her comfort. Im an adult and I like to be at home when ill.

Childcare isn't an issue, mum doesn't work.

OP posts:
AngelicInnocent · 22/11/2022 22:51

When my DC were young GPs were fit and healthy in their 50s and MIL was my emergency childcare. Regular childcare was nursery, I didn't impose but she was happy to be there when needed.

Since she didn't drive, it made sense for them to sleep over if she was having them.

Original poster
ToughLoveLDN · 22/11/2022 22:53

Sorry to drip feed, child is 8 and and mum doesn't work so it isn't a child care issue

OP posts:
MelchiorsMistress · 22/11/2022 22:53

If it’s not about childcare then it’s strange, but I was close enough to my Grandma while I was growing up that I’d have been as happy with her as with my mum, and I’ve known other children and their grandparents be the same.

megletthesecond · 22/11/2022 22:54

Yanbu. Unless there's an emergency they should be keeping their sick bugs to themselves.

Hercisback · 22/11/2022 22:55

Keeping kids home for a cold isn't really needed unless they don't feel well enough to be at school.

Does mum have an illness/planned surgery meaning she doesn't want to get ill?

Smartiepants79 · 22/11/2022 22:56

My kids have been to their grandparents when sick. If they didn’t I couldn’t work.
They offered and are perfectly happy to have them.
It’s surely down to individual circumstances. I would send them to a vulnerable elderly person but my parents are neither of these things.
Grandparents can mean anything from about 50 onwards. Why shouldn’t they have them if they’re happy to??

Smartiepants79 · 22/11/2022 22:57

I wouldn’t send them if I was at home though. Or their dad was at home.

RosesAndHellebores · 22/11/2022 22:58

Why is it of any concern to you?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 22/11/2022 22:59

I said YABU because ultimately it’s up to the grandparents and the individual situation. If the child is sick, the parents or sole parent works nights, and usually goes to GPs , for example, then they will be there for a sleepover. Unless the GPs have said they won’t look after them when sick, and that’s the arrangement.

My 14 yo went to my (healthy) parents right as rain in the summer holidays (by herself on the train) and became ill once she got there. She obviously stayed there, and they looked after her. But she’d have been too sick for school.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 22/11/2022 23:00

Read your up dates (took me ages to post that for some reason). If it’s not your child, why do you care?

Mariposista · 22/11/2022 23:01

On the very rare occasions I was off school ill I had to go to grandmas - my (single) teacher mum had to work. Unless I was worryingly ill (never was), she had to go in. Think I had 3 sick days in my whole school career! Literally had to be covered in blood, projectile vomiting or unconscious before I was allowed a day off 🤣

Original poster
ToughLoveLDN · 22/11/2022 23:01

@Smartiepants79 I totally agree that if there isn't another option and GP's are okay then its not a problem. But to me if you're just sitting at home anyway wouldn't you want your sick child with you?

OP posts:
ThePumpking · 22/11/2022 23:01

A family member does this as well despite not working. Drives me up the wall because we then have to avoid taking our kids to see the grandparents incase they catch whatever they have and we have to take time off as we can't use grandparents as childcare (they work during the day)

FluffyWorm · 22/11/2022 23:02

Do you know why the mum doesn't work? Do you know the full situation?

Namechxnge · 22/11/2022 23:04

My daughter is at grandmas tonight as we have workmen coming in the morning, and timings don't work to take her there in the morning.

Original poster
ToughLoveLDN · 22/11/2022 23:04

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing it has an indirect effect on me I guess. My child shares GP's with the sick child. GP takes care of my DD one day a week so that I can go in to work. Rest of the week I WFH whilst taking care of toddler DD (my boss is aware, worked for company for very long time etc). I don't know if I should send her to GP's now as they could potentially catch it. DD has just had 2 weeks of back to back sickness, I don't want her to get sick again.

OP posts: