In thinking that my neighbour is being a bitch?

[Powersout]

Hi

I'm feeling so shaken up right now. We moved into a detached property about a year ago - both house and garden need A LOT of work, our priority is to get the house done first (intend to start next year) but will also do bits to the garden as and when we have the cash for the work to be done.

The garden boundaries are privet hedge in various states of repair - about one third of the hedge making up the boundary with our neighbours was actually falling down so we decided to pay for a gardener to remove it last summer (when we had the available funds for this). Now before we did so we approached our elderly neighbour (probs late 60s, lived alone but now has recently separated son living with her) to tell her - she wasn't very happy about it as was worried about her dogs getting out but she had already put up both chicken wire and picket fence on the other side of the hedge so reluctantly agreed. We explained to her that we wouldn't be able to replant the hedge until the autumn because that's when hedge planting should take place - again, she seemed unhappy about this but said 'OK'. We would never have left her without a boundary - if the chicken wire and picket fence wasn't there then we would have put up some boards to stop her dogs getting through.

At the same time as we had the hedge removed she also decided to have a big tree which was just the other side of the hedge cut down - she didnt tell us beforehand but came round afterwards to say that she couldn't afford to have the stump removed. The tree is definitely her side of the chicken wire (which she says denotes the boundary, she's been in her house years, we're not splitting hairs about that, it's fine) but as there's mo hedge there now it's clear that the stump leans over and a lot of the roots are her side of the boundary.

Fast forward to now and its time to get hedge planting. Except we can't because the exposed stumps massive roots are in the way.

My husband went round to see the neighbour 3 days ago to offer that we pay half the amount of stump removal - she said she hadn't got the money now (50% is £120) so my husband suggested that we get it removed, foot the bill and she can pay us back some time in the new year. She seemed open to it - he told her we'd talk to her again before doing it.

So today I walked past her drive on the way to picking up my daughter from school and she called me over. She said that she had talked to her partner (they don't live together, he doesn't own the property so no idea what he has to do with anything) and she's decided that she can't pay for the stump removal, so she wouldn't be contributing at all, ever. She was very blunt and off with me. I then suggested that we foot the entire bill to which she said 'and I'm not allowing access to my garden for them to dig it up'. She was so off with me, I tried to stay calm and advised her that without the stump removal it would be nigh on impossible to replant the hedge. She then went on a rant saying that we shouldn't have left her without a boundary - then to top it off said that the tree she arranged to have removed was actually ours because the roots are coming from our garden!! But she had it removed without even discussing it with us and now has made it impossible for us to remove it? She says she is going to plant some conifers along her side of the boundary. At which point I kindof lost it...

I honestly don't know what to do now. She is being a deliberately difficult old woman. I feel like we've been considerate at every step, we've hardly marched it to this property and started ripping it apart and causing her disruption.

Part of me wants to say 'fuck you', tear the whole hedge down on that side and put up a 2 metre fence. What on earth should we do wise women of Mumsnet?! Does anyone know about the legal side of these boundary issues?

[Daftasabroom]

@ChiefWiggumsBoy You're not obliged to provide a particular type of fencing or hedging. This may well be untrue, many property deeds do specify a particular type of fencing.

[Astrabees]

I suspect this will end in expensive court proceedings, you have been utterly unpleasant about your neighbour. I hope she is planning a thread on here herself, if you were in receipt of these unacceptable type of descriptions yourself you might realise how unacceptable it is.

[SavingsThreads]

@GettinHyggeWithIt

Well there’s another thread right now where 2 female neighbours have arranged themselves a fight for tomorrow and seems all the other neighbours pick a side - so there’s always that?

Oooo could you link please?

[DreamTheMoors]

I’m 67. That’s not old unless you choose to be.

I swear some people hit 60 and think that entitles them to become rude & disrespectful & crotchety & out of sorts with everyone.

What a shite excuse.

I’m sorry you’re having issues with this woman, @Powersout— my guess is she’s always been awful.

[autienotnaughty]

🧟‍♂️

[TruthSeeker2023]

I would not bother getting the stump removed from HER garden if she won't pay for it - just get your DH to dig round it and cut the roots off that come over your side. Then put up a "MASSIVE" fence that shuts her and he "dogs" out.
Some people are just plain nasty - if the old bag has taken against you, you'll never be able to get round her. Some people just love holding grudges is all.

[Abitofalark]

Name calling and ageist abuse seems unnecessary and isn't reflecting well on you. She was clearly affected and upset by the removal of the hedge, because I assume it left her feeling exposed, disrupted and vulnerable. I could understand why she would feel that and be resentful.

You can find information and advice about boundaries from knowledgeable people on Garden Law forum.